


Fireworks & Team Spirit

by sesquipedalia



Category: The Maze Runner (Movies), The Maze Runner Series - James Dashner
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Angst, Bullying, Cheerleader!Teresa, F/M, First Time, Football Teams, Homecoming, Homophobic Language, Jealousy, Jock!Gally, Jock!Minho, Jock!Thomas, M/M, Math Tutors, Newt is a Mathlete, Slow Build, Smut, Teasing, and a Band Geek, nerd!newt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-22
Updated: 2016-07-23
Packaged: 2018-05-02 12:29:41
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 25
Words: 65,907
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5248331
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sesquipedalia/pseuds/sesquipedalia
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Newt's parents thought he was special, but the football players thought otherwise. Actually, a majority of the school thought otherwise. He spent most of his time participating in geeky clubs and obsessing over Thomas Taylor, the star football player who had golden brown eyes and a smile that could kill millions - including Newt. </p><p>Newt was fine with admiring from afar, but when his Math teacher makes him tutor Thomas, he can't help but fall apart from anxiety.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>   
>   
> 
> There's also a [](<iframe%20src=)[trailer](https://vimeo.com/151010741) for this fic made by the lovely Jamie Haworth :)
> 
> X

"Newt, honey. Wake up or you'll miss your bus," his mother said gently, shaking him. 

Newt groaned and turned over, shoving the pillow over his head. He hated mornings and he hated waking up - especially when all he ever dreamed about was Thomas. His dreams never made it to the good part because his mom would always wake him up before them. 

"5 more minutes," Newt whined, but by that time, the image of Thomas had already vanished from the back of his eyelids. He was hoping he would somehow reappear, but he didn't. 

"You said 5 minutes 5 minutes ago, Newton. Now get up and get dressed."

His mom left the room and Newt sighed, giving himself a few more seconds to actually get up and take a shower. He wasn't too ecstatic about having to go to school, but Thomas was one of the main reasons he was able to get out of bed in the morning.

Thomas Taylor was the star football player of Redwood High and the halcyon that had Newt's heart in his pocket without even knowing. Ever since freshman year, Newt had been practically in love with Thomas, though he never spoke to him. Even now, as Newt is a senior, he still had not had one conversation with Thomas, but he's content with admiring him from afar for the most part. He spends most of his time daydreaming about him and watching him, as creepy as it sounds, learning to love every aspect there was to learn about Thomas. 

There was nothing not to love about Thomas in Newt's mind - he was cute and funny and handsome and just _perfect_ to Newt. The only part of Thomas Newt disliked was his stupid girlfriend Teresa. She wasn't the brightest crayon in the Crayola box and she wasn't the sweetest skittle of the package either. Instead, she reminded Newt of that sour American candy he still could not wrap his head around. The moral of the story is: Teresa was sour and Newt did _not_ like her.

As cliche as it sounds, Teresa was the captain of the Jaguars - the Redwood cheerleading team. She's had her fair share of experience when it comes to guys, and Thomas just so happened to be her next victim. Newt wishes there was something he could do about it, but he knows there isn't, so he just lets it go. 

Newt gets dressed after he finishes his shower and rushes downstairs to eat breakfast while his parents sit calmly in the kitchen. His dad is reading and his mom is drinking a cup of tea, leaning against the counter. 

"I see you're finally out of bed," she says, smiling over her mug. 

"I see you still haven't left for work," Newt counters, throwing bread into the toaster and fetching some jam to go along with it. His mom smiles again before taking another sip and resting her mug on the counter.

"Do you still have band practice today?" she asks and Newt nods, smothering his bread with jam and shoving it into his mouth quickly. His dad chuckles and shakes his head, looking down at his watch before jumping out of his seat after realizing what time it was.

"I better go," he says, grabbing his stuff and kissing Newt's mother on the lips before kissing Newt on the top of his head.

"Bye dad," he says with his mouth full and his mom scolds him for talking with his mouth full. He always had a habit for doing that and she always complained about it.

"Did you remember to brush your teeth?" his mom asks suddenly, and it takes Newt a few moments of contemplation to realize he hadn't. "Go upstairs now, Newt. Your bus'll be here any minute."

Newt rolls his eyes and shoves the remainder of his food in his mouth before running back up to the bathroom to brush his teeth. As soon as he gets a drop of water on his toothbrush, he hears the school bus beep it's horn outside and he tries his hardest to finish brushing his teeth as quick as possible, but by the time he makes it back downstairs, the bus is already gone. 

"Mom! Can you drop me off?" he screams as he begins to walk out the front door to her car, but she yells back a reply that makes him stop in his steps. 

"Did you remember your clarinet?" 

Newt sighs as he runs back upstairs to fetch his clarinet and meets his mom outside, jumping into her car so she could drop him off. They didn't live too far from the school, and Newt was glad his mom was willing to drop him off because he would have been forced to walk, and that would have taken forever. 

"How come you don't wear your glasses anymore?" his mom asks suddenly, glancing at him before turning her attention back to the road. 

"I like the contacts better," Newt replies, and it's probably one of the biggest lies he's ever told to his mom. The contacts irritated his eyes and if he were to be honest, he preferred his glasses over his contacts any day. 

"It's not because of what those boys said, is it?"

Newt knows she's talking about the football players, and he refuses to say yes because he knows she would make a big deal out of it. Even though she was just trying to protect him, Newt didn't want to give Thomas' friends another reason to make fun of him, so he chose to pretend like it didn't matter.

"No."

She gives Newt an unsure look but drops it, knowing Newt wouldn't want her to pushing him for answers. As soon as she parks in front of the school, Newt nearly jumps out of the car, but she stops him. 

"Uh uh. Where's my kiss?"

Newt feels his cheeks burn red. He's sure people can see them and he really doesn't want to be embarrassed so early in the morning.

"Mom," he whines, looking at her and asking do I have to with his eyes. 

"You're not leaving this car until I get my kiss."

He leans over stubbornly and kisses her cheek before stepping out the car without saying goodbye. He then realizes he should've reevaluated because she rolled her window down and made sure to embarrass him even more.

"Bye Newton! I love you!"

Newt walked fast and ignored her along with the people that were laughing at him while his cheeks burned red. He ran his fingers through his hair and tried to avoid all eye contact with everyone as he walked over to his locker, unlocking it and shoving his clarinet into it. After he closed his locker, he rushed through the hallways, trying to get to his first period class on time considering he was already a few minutes behind for missing the bus. He walked into his English class just as the bell rang and sighed to himself, keeping his head down as he walked to his seat that was at the very back of the classroom. Mrs. Patterson was giving him a disappointed look, but Newt knew she wouldn't write him up.

Mrs. Patterson was Newt's favorite teacher. Every time Newt had the chance, he would go to her classroom and they would just talk. Sometimes they could talk for hours and Newt found a strange comfort within her presence. 

"Good morning everyone. Today we will be-"

Before she could finish her sentence, Thomas entered the room with Minho who was laughing boisterously. Minho was the quarterback of the football team and Thomas' right-hand man. Wherever Thomas was, Minho was too. 

Thomas looked over in Newt's direction and Newt wanted to crawl in a hole because he always felt intimidated by him. He wasn't mean, but Newt felt insignificant whenever Thomas was around. Thomas shoved Minho playfully and they sat down in their usual seats, which were three rows in front of Newt's. Minho always sat near the window and Thomas would sit directly beside him, giving Newt the perfect view of him.

"Gentleman. It's nice of you to finally join us."

"Sorry," Thomas replies. Newt doesn't think he's heard a voice so wonderful before. "Coach Sanders lost track of time."

Minho continues to laugh and when Thomas turned to glare at him, Newt saw a huge purple bruise residing on the side of his neck. Common sense told him Teresa had given it to him and that's what Minho had been laughing at. At first he assumed they were laughing at whatever it is football players and cool kids laughed and, of course, he had no idea of what that would be. But now he understood, and he couldn't help but hate Teresa even more because of it. 

Mrs. Patterson doesn't look impressed. "As I was saying, today we will begin reading _The Catcher and the Rye_ by J.D Salinger. Does anybody know anything about it?"

She scans the classroom and Newt looks down to avoid her eyes. He knew she was expecting him to raise his hand, considering they had a conversation about both the book and his lack or participation just yesterday. She was well aware of Newt's nervousness, but she still encouraged him to participate anyway. 

"No one?"

No one in the classroom raised their hand, so she moved on. "Alright. Does anyone know anything about Salinger?"

Once again, no one raised their hand and Mrs. Patterson sighed in defeat. "Oh boy. I'll hand out the books and give you guys a general idea of it then, alright?"

The class hummed and Newt reverted his attention back to Thomas, watching as he and Minho began talking once again. He had no idea what they were talking about, but he found himself getting lost in the thought of him as he gazed in his direction. 

One thing Newt adored about Thomas was his eyes. Though he had never seen them up close, he had seen them in the pictures on Thomas' Facebook page, which he spent a good amount of his free time stalking.  He had also seen them from afar, and they always seemed to shine even from a distance. 

Newt often wondered what it would be like to be with Thomas. He wondered what his hands felt like and what his lips would feel like when he pressed their lips together. This only happened within Newt's dreams, but at the moment, Newt was satisfied with this. He thought that maybe if he hoped and prayed to a God he doesn't necessarily believe in, Thomas would finally acknowledge his existence and dump that sorry excuse he calls a girlfriend.

A pat on Newt's shoulder is what snaps him out of his momentary daze, and he looks over to see Mrs. Patterson giving him a look he couldn't quite read. "Be careful, sweetie."

She places a copy of _The Catcher and the Rye_ on his desk and walks away and Newt sighs. It was going to be a _long day_.

 

 

If Newt was to think about it, Winston was probably his best friend. They spent most of their time together as they were in the same clubs and lived in the same neighborhood. They always sat next to each other on the bus and talked about movies and comic books, even sharing headphones on rare occasions. Newt didn't have many friends, but he was pretty glad he got to call Winston one of them. 

Winston played the Tuba in the school band, and that was how they met. Newt had always been enthusiastic about music and his mom encouraged him to join, so he did. Ever since, Winston and Newt have been pretty close.

After Band practice, Newt and Winston usually walked home together, but today was a bit different. As they were walking out of the music room, Ms. Phillips, the music teacher, called him and asked him to stay back for a few moments. 

"Do you want me to wait for you?" Winston asked. 

"No it's okay. I'll see you tomorrow, yeah?" 

Winston nodded and waved before leaving with the rest of the kids and Newt walked over to Ms. Phillips, giving her a soft smile. "You said you wanted to see me?"

"Yes. I was going to ask you about the football game."

Newt raises an eyebrow. "What about it?"

"One of our clarinet players isn't feeling too good and I was wondering if you could to perform with the marching band tomorrow?"

Newt wants to say no, but the look in Ms. Phillips eyes makes him want to say yes. The last time he performed with the school marching band, he was made fun of for 3 weeks straight by Gally. He definitely was not looking forward to that happening again, and he was hoping he would never have to put on that stupid costume ever again in his life.

"But I don't know the arrangement," he says, hoping that was a good enough excuse for her to understand.

"Don't worry, we learned it towards the end of last year. If you don't remember it, I can give you the sheet music for you to study tonight?"

It didn't sound like Ms. Phillips was giving him much of an option. "Do I have to?"

Ms. Phillips laughs. "Of course you don't have to. I'm asking you to. You're one of our best players and I was really hoping you'd help us out here."

Now he feels guilty. If he says no, he'd be letting both Ms. Phillips down and the marching band. One football game wouldn't hurt, right?

"Okay I guess I'll do it then."

Ms. Phillips smile is so wide, Newt can't help but smile back. She hands him the sheet music and squeezes his shoulder. "Thank you so much Newt! You'll do great tomorrow, I promise."

Newt says goodbye to her and begins walking home, the fall breeze sending shivers up his spine. Reality doesn't actually hit him until he gets home, and he immediately regrets agreeing to it after he realizes Thomas would be at that game, and he would see Newt in that _embarrassing_ outfit. 

Great. Yet another reason for Thomas Taylor to think Newt was the biggest dork in the world. 

 


	2. Chapter 2

If there was something Newt hated more than Teresa, it had to be locker rooms. 

So maybe it was a love and hate thing. He hated them because they made him uncomfortable, but he loved them because that was the only chance he ever got to see Thomas shirtless. It was quite a wonderful sight to Newt, and he could never get enough of it if he were to be honest with himself. He always tried to be as subtle as possible when he watched Thomas, but it never seemed to work. He couldn't help himself, and he always daydreamed about using his finger to gently connect all of the moles on Thomas' body. That thought alone gave him shivers, and the locker room definitely was the worst place in the world for shivers. Especially when Gally was around. 

"Well, would you look at this," Gally said, looking directly at Newt. He spoke too soon. 

Newt pulled his eyes away from Thomas and stared at ground, hoping Gally would just leave him alone. He could still feel Gally approaching him, and his breath caught in his throat as he forced himself not to look up. 

"This loser over here just can't take his eyes off you, Thomas."

Newt felt his cheeks begin to fill with heat, and he tried to tilt his head down even more to avoid Gally's eyes. He never tried to defend himself when it came to Gally because he was the definition of intimidating. Newt was sure he could lift 200 pounds since he always bragged about it, and he was the biggest person on the football team. There was no debating who would win in a battle between Newt and Gally. 

Gally grabbed Newt's face, causing his lips to purse and tilted it up so Newt would look at him, but Newt made sure his eyes were looking elsewhere. "Look at me, you idiot." 

Newt suddenly felt like crying for being so defenseless. He tries to move his face away from Gally's grip, but Gally just tightens his grip, causing Newt to whimper. 

As much as Newt liked Thomas, part of him wanted to scream because he never defended him. It wasn't Thomas' job to defend Newt, but Newt wished he was considerate enough to do so. The only person who ever did was Alby, who was also on the football team, and was much nicer than the rest of them. He was actually Newt's lab partner. 

Even though Thomas never defended him, Newt was still madly in love with him because everything good about Thomas always seemed to overshadow the bad. 

"Gally," Coach Sanders warned, entering the locker room with his clipboard. "Cut it out. Everyone on the field."

Gally let go but continued to glare at Newt as he stood up straight and began walking with the rest of the boys to the field. Newt stood up after the rest of the boys had already left, remaining in the back so he wouldn't draw attention to himself. 

"Alright boys. There's a football game tonight, so I'll be splitting you up for this period. Everyone on the team will be doing drills. For the rest of you, three laps around the track. I'll be watching all of you so I don't want anyone sitting out."

He blew his whistle and everyone did as they were told, some walking over to the track while the team stayed with the Coach. Newt walked as slowly as he could to the track and began jogging. It looked more like fast walking because of how slow he was going, and he was hoping Coach Sanders wouldn't say anything to him. 

The boys started doing lateral movement drills and as if he hadn't learned his lesson already, Newt watched. This time, he glanced instead of staring, reverting his eyes to the floor every time Gally even slightly looked in his direction. 

Thomas looked erotic with sweat dripping down his chest, and Newt wanted to slap himself across the face to snap out of it. He wanted to take his time in observing every part of Thomas' body that was visible at the moment, but he really didn't want Gally to bother him again. 

After a few minutes, Newt stopped running, leaning over with his hands on his knees to catch his breath. His throat was tight and dry, and he regretted not bringing a bottle of water to the field with him. 

It only took Coach Sanders 10 seconds to realize Newt had stopped and when he did, he yelled at him from across the field.

"What do you think you're doing, Clifton? Keep running!"

Newt huffed and took a few more seconds to himself before he continued jogging, trying to distract himself so he wouldn't realize how tiring running was. 

He tried to run as much as he could for the remainder of the period, but he only ran, well jogged, one and a half laps, but he was glad Coach Sanders hadn't noticed. After Coach Sanders blew his whistle, he ordered everyone to hit the showers and as usual, Newt stayed behind everyone else.

The only thing that topped seeing Thomas shirtless was seeing him in nothing but a towel. Newt really needed to get a hold of himself because he was overwhelmed with Thomas every time he laid eyes on him.

Newt was barely sweating, but he still insisted on taking a shower anyway. The warm water was rather soothing against his skin and he sighed as the water trickled down his neck and spine. He washed his face and took his time cleaning himself up until Coach Sanders told the boys they had 10 more minutes to get to their next class. He wrapped the towel around his waist and avoided eye contact with all of the boys, fetching his clothes and throwing them on quickly in the corner he usually did. 

Thomas and Minho were just finishing getting dressed when Newt was done, and he gave Thomas one last subtle glance before he headed out of the locker rooms and to his History class. Time usually went slower when Newt was around Thomas, but when he was away from him, time rushed by quicker than he could think.

The school day went by faster than Newt had expected it to, and before he knew it, it was over and he was that much closer to the inevitable embarrassment he would face at the football game.

 

 

 Newt doesn't think he's ever felt so nervous in his life. Sure he's performed with the marching band before, but that was one time and he was never willing to do it again. 

The only reason he joined the school band in the first place was because his mom had convinced him to. He loved music and all, but he didn't necessarily like the idea of performing. 

So as Newt stared at himself in the mirror with the blue uniform on, which was rather loose since it did not belong to him, he felt like panicking. Not only would Thomas be seeing him, but the football team and the entire school would be seeing him as well and Newt didn't know how to handle that. He really regretted agreeing to perform, but the other half of him said he was doing a good deed for Ms. Phillips.

He turned his face from side to side in the mirror, observing himself one last time before putting his hat on and sighing, returning to the group. He knew a fair share of them, as the people of the school band made up the marching band as well. They only performed during football season, and that was why the school basically joined the two teams together. 

"Alright everyone!" Ms. Phillips called, clapping her hands. "We're on in three so I want everyone to set up their instruments so we can get into formation on the field. I promise everyone will do great!"

The band nodded and continued conversing with each other, grabbing their instruments and setting them up. Newt got his clarinet from his case and sat down on the bench, assembling its pieces in order. Ms. Phillips walked over to him when he was almost done, and sat beside him with a reassuring smile. 

"How're you feeling?" she asked genuinely, and Newt shrugged. 

"I'm okay."

She rubbed his back in a comforting manner and Newt suddenly felt a bit calmer. "There's no need to be nervous, sweetheart. Everyone here knows how talented you are and so do I."

"Thanks," Newt replied, smiling softly. 

Ms. Phillips nodded and took her hand away, resting it on his lap instead. "Now I haven't told you about your formation yet, but you'll be behind Rachel, alright?"

Newt nodded and she stood up, giving him one last reassuring look before telling everyone they needed to head out to the field. After he finished fixing the reed in his clarinet, Newt stood as well and joined the rest of the group as they began walking through the hallways that led to the field.

As they were walking, Newt saw Minho and Alby walking to the locker rooms with their helmets in their hands. When Newt and Alby made eye contact, Alby smiled and patted his shoulder. 

"Good luck," he whispered in his ear and Newt smiled.

The nerves that once occupied Newt's veins had subsided by the time they got out to the field. Everyone seemed to believe he would do well, so he no longer worried about what would happen. He had convinced himself that he would do great. 

As they got into formation, Newt noticed Gally and Thomas laughing near the bottom of the bleachers. They weren't paying any attention to him, but every time Gally laughed, Newt always felt like it was at him. He brushed that feeling aside and brought his clarinet up to his lips as the drummers began playing. 

The cheerleaders began their routine and Thomas immediately turned away from Gally to watch Teresa. It was kind of heart wrenching for Newt to watch the person he loves watch someone else with admiration in their eyes. In a way, it was a slap in the face because Newt needed a reality check, after all. He couldn't get mad at Thomas for wanting someone else, but he felt like he had the right to be hurt for not being what Thomas wanted. His mom always told him to never change for anyone, but Newt was willing to change just to fit Thomas' desires. 

Newt was so caught up in Thomas and Teresa that he nearly missed his queue, and he quickly lifted his clarinet back up to his lips and began playing. He tried as hard as he could to turn his attention away from the two of them, but as usual, he couldn't help himself, and he couldn't pinch himself to snap out of it. 

Instead, Newt closed his eyes and let the instruments drown out his hearing. But when he closed his eyes, all he could see was Thomas, and he wanted to scream. 

He hated how Thomas took up his brain and he hated how there was nothing he could do about it. It got to the point where he wasn't sure he was playing the right notes because he was so distracted, but he was hoping the other instruments would overlap his. 

The song seemed to go on forever and Newt was beginning to drift off within his own mind. He wanted to open his eyes, but he didn't want to find himself looking at Thomas, so he kept his eyes closed until the music stopped and the people on the bleachers started cheering. The cheerleaders were screaming as well, and Newt barely heard when Rachel turned around and told him he did great. He found that rather hard to believe. 

The band walked off the field and Newt watched as Teresa ran over to Thomas and threw her arms around his neck. She kissed him and Newt ripped his gaze away from the two of them, focusing on the ground instead. Everyone in the band was cheering as they walked back into the school, but Newt was rather quiet, not that he usually wasn't anyway. 

Ms. Phillips was so proud of them and Newt tried to smile, but every time he tried, his smile was grave. He took off his hat and ruffled his hair, taking a deep breath to get rid of the aching feeling that resided within his chest. 

"I am so proud of all you!" Ms. Phillips said cheerfully. "I want you all to give yourselves a round of applause because you guys did great!"

The room filled with cheers and applause, and Newt played with his fingers to avoid her gaze. 

"You guys can stay for the rest of the game if you want, but make sure you put you put your outfits where they belong before you leave."

Newt disassembled his clarinet and placed it in its case before changing into his normal clothes so he could head home. He wanted to see the team win, but he wasn't too fond of the idea of seeing Thomas and Teresa again. He had enough of their PDA for a 24 hour period, and he wasn't willing to see anymore. 

He considered walking home, but the breezy weather was making him shiver, so he called his mom and asked him to pick him up. She came in less than ten minutes and rolled the window down, smiling at him. 

"Hey honey, how was the game?"

Newt got into the car and buckled up his seat belt. "It hasn't finished yet."

"You don't want to stay for the rest?"

He shook his head and his mom frowned. "What happened?"

"Nothing."

His mom sighed. "You know I'm always here if you want to talk, right?"

"Yeah. I just want to go home. I'm tired."

She nods and takes him home without saying anything else. When Newt gets home, he falls into his bed and screams into his pillow to resist the urge to start crying. He feels pathetic when he feels his eyes burns from the tears, but he tries to relax and eventually falls asleep with the image of Thomas still on the back of his eyelids.

His presence within his mind isn't painful this time because Teresa isn't beside him, but Newt still feels empty knowing Thomas does not belong to him. 


	3. Chapter 3

Newt was glad Mr. Fisher assigned Alby as his lab partner. They got along pretty well, and Alby never made fun of him like the rest of the boys did. Newt always felt comfortable around Alby, and he always wondered why the other boys couldn't be more like him.

"I wanted to tell you how great you were last night, but you weren't there. What happened?" Alby asked, observing the beaker that was sitting in front of them.

"Nothing. I just-" Newt started, but had to pause in order to think of an excuse. "Wasn't feeling too good."

"Are you alright?"

Newt smiled. "Yeah I'm okay."

Alby nodded and smiled back.

"So, how was the game?"

Newt regrets missing the game last night, and he feels bad for ditching Winston as well. He always attended the games with Winston and while Winston watched the game, Newt would watch Thomas. Newt would always get jealous when he saw Teresa and Thomas together, but for some reason, yesterday made him sick to his stomach and he just couldn't handle the thought and the sight of them together. Newt is so deep in thought that he barely heard Alby's reply.

"It was amazing! We were 10 to 6 and I made six of the touchdowns."

Newt's eyes blew wide. "What! No way!"

"Way," Alby replied, smiling radiantly. 

"Congrats man! I wish I could'a been there."

"Our next game is in a few weeks so make sure you get that blonde head of yours to the bleachers," Alby says, leaning over to nudge Newt. Newt laughs and nods. 

"I'll be there."

They're silent for a few seconds and Newt watches as Alby continues to aimlessly observe the beaker that is filled with what Newt assumes is hydrogen peroxide with red food coloring. 

"What are we supposed to be doing again?" Alby asks. 

Newt adjusts the goggles on his face and sits up straight. "I think we're supposed to combine the peroxide with the yeast. It's supposed to foam when you mix it together."

"And why are we doing this?" 

"I think Fisher said something about our science projects."

Alby groans. "I hope he isn't making us build volcanos."

"I hope so too," Newt chuckles.

After a few moments, Alby finally does what they were supposed to do twenty minutes ago and mixes the two things together, watching the beaker with a bored expression. Newt isn't amused either, as it wasn't foaming like Mr. Fisher said it would. A sudden laugh beside them causes Newt to snap his attention away from the beaker and look to his right, and he sees Teresa laughing with a guy Newt doesn't know the name of. They're sitting rather close to each other and Newt gets a bad feeling in his gut as he watches them. 

"Who is that?" Newt asks, looking back to Alby before looking back at Teresa and the mysterious guy. Alby looks over in their direction before turning back to the beaker. 

"I think his names' Aris. And I think his parents are super rich."

Newt raises an eyebrow. "What makes you think that? He looks pretty normal to me."

"He drives a Lexus LFA. Do you know how much those things cost?"

"No," Newt says, shaking his head. He finally stops staring at them and looks back at Alby. He was still mixing the yeast and the hydrogen peroxide subconsciously while his attention remained on Aris and Teresa.

"Over 300 grand. They're expensive."

Newt supposes that was why Teresa was sitting so close to him. But he also supposes it was his subconscious reminding him of how much he hated and despised Teresa. Everything she did made Newt furious, and he was probably over-estimating every move she made like he usually did. She could be breathing and Newt would get annoyed with her. He shrugs and dismisses the subject just as the mixture begins to bubble and overflow. 

"Alby," Newt calls, and Alby looks back at him before realizing it was overflowing and quickly pushes it back. They both watch in silence as it overflows and Alby scoffs. 

"That was pathetic," Alby says. 

"Agreed."

Mr. Fisher pats the both of them of the back after he realizes they completed their task and Newt presses his lips together in a thin line. Sometimes he loved chemistry, but other times Mr. Fisher would bore the crap out of him. It was safe to say Mr. Fisher was his _least_ favorite teacher.

"You guys can get cleaned up; the last bell is about to ring," he says with that enthusiastic smile still on his face. He's about to leave, but he stops and turns around to look back at Newt. "Oh and Newton, Mr. Morris wants to see you after school so stop by his classroom after you're done cleaning up."

Yet another reason for Newt to dislike Mr. Fisher - he still calls him Newton after Newt repeatedly tells him not to. Newt ignores it, though, and nods while he stands up and takes off his goggles like Alby does. Newt quickly scribbles down some words onto the paper they were supposed to hand in and places it on Mr. Fisher's desk, then continued to clean up so he could get out of the classroom as quickly as possible. They're done cleaning up by the time the bell rings, and Newt picks his bag up and slings it over his shoulder. On his way out of the door, he waves to Alby and starts walking to Mr. Morris' classroom. He hopes Mr. Morris isn't asking for any favors because he's all favored out from performing with the marching band. This time, he's sure he would pass up the offer since he's done enough good deeds for a 48-hour time span.

He walks into the classroom and sees Mr. Morris leaning against his desk with his arms crossed over his chest. It takes Newt a few seconds to realize Mr. Morris isn't in the room by himself, and when he looks to the side, he sees Thomas looking back at him with an irritated expression. Newt honestly thinks it's the first time Thomas has ever looked him in the eyes, and it makes his knees weak. Thomas' eyes are much prettier up close, and for once, they're actual looking in his directly at him rather than looking past him. Even though Thomas is looking at him like he wants to deck him in the face, Newt still feels grateful to be under his gaze. 

Thomas looks away as quickly as he had first laid his eyes on Newt, but Newt felt like it lasted for hours, days even. He's still looking at Thomas even when he wasn't looking at him anymore, and it takes Mr. Morris clearing his throat to make Newt snap back into reality. 

"Newt, this is Thomas."

Like he didn't already know. Thomas was Newt's imaginary knight in shining armor. He didn't need an introduction. Although he wouldn't mind one if it gave him the opportunity to touch his hands. It would be their first time with skin to skin contact and that thought made Newt shiver. Newt needed to stop shivering at the thought of Thomas - _seriously_.

"You'll be tutoring him for the next 8 weeks."

Newt's eyebrows scrunch up and he looks toward Mr. Morris with confusion. When did he ever agree to that? Not like he was against it or anything, but Newt doesn't remember ever agreeing to give up his spare time to tutor anyone. 

"I know, I know," Mr. Morris continues before Newt could start. "It's a little short notice, but he's failing Geometry, and I am not willing to have him sit in my classroom for the third summer in a row, so we should try to get him on track in order to make sure he graduates on time."

Thomas isn't saying anything, and Newt isn't sure if that means anything because he's never spent any time around Thomas to know. He scratches his eyebrow and takes a few seconds to himself before replying calmly. 

"I took Geometry in freshman year, Mr. Morris."

Thomas snorts and rolls his eyes, and Newt tries to pretend how he's acting isn't hurting his feelings. 

"You were one of our top students. I'm sure you can remember some of the things you learned back then? If not, you can use the textbooks to refresh your memory."

Newt contemplates for a moment and even though this was what he had been looking forward to for four years, he considers turning down Mr. Morris because Thomas already seems to take a disliking towards him.

"If I'm one of them, I'm sure there are others willing to help as well."

Mr. Morris sighs. "You know what I mean."

He looks back towards Thomas, and Thomas isn't even looking at him - he's looking down at the floor and that makes Newt feel as if he wasn't worth Thomas' gaze. Apparently the floor was much more interesting. 

"I'm counting on you, Newt. You'll start tomorrow and I don't want either of you flaking, do you two understand me?"

Newt nods and Thomas doesn't respond, but when Mr. Morris repeats himself, he spits out an annoyed 'yes' before standing up and attempting to storm out of the classroom. Newt is learning that Thomas is much sassier close up than far away. Before Thomas could leave, Mr. Morris grabbed him by his arm and forced him to stay. 

"Did I say I'm done?"

Thomas doesn't reply, but Mr. Morris continues. 

"Do you understand the consequences of not attending these sessions, Thomas? If you bail, you'll fail this semester, which ultimately means you'd also fail this entire course and you know what that means? That precious little scholarship you think you deserve will be gone, just like that."

Thomas grits his teeth and Newt feels awkward for having to watch Mr. Morris lecture Thomas. 

"So I want you to take this tutoring thing seriously and show Newt some respect. Is that so hard?"

"No, sir," Thomas finally replies, and Mr. Morris smiles smugly. 

"Good. Now I want you two to keep in contact - exchange numbers or whatever it is teenagers do to communicate with each other. I'll be checking up on you two to make sure you're doing as I say."

Thomas sticks his hand out at Newt and Newt looks down at his hand before looking up at him with a puzzled expression. He's looking at Newt impatiently as he continues to gesture his hand at Newt until he finally speaks up. 

"Your phone."

"Oh," Newt says, feeling his cheeks heat up in embarrassment. He fishes his phone out of his back pocket and hands it to Thomas, watching as he types his number into it. Newt feels slightly uneasy knowing he'd have to be the one to text Thomas first, but he also feels a bit excited knowing he finally has Thomas' number. 

Thomas hands him his phone back without looking at him. 

"Can I go now? I have practice."

"You can-"

Thomas is leaving before Mr. Morris finishes his sentence, and Mr. Morris chuckles, looking towards Newt. 

"He can be a piece of work sometimes."

Well, _he's a beautiful piece of work_ , Newt thinks. It comes to show how little Newt actually knew about Thomas but as usual, the good aspects about Thomas always overshadowed the bad.

"But I mean it when I say I'm counting on you, Newt. Think of it as an extra credit assignment. It's not like you need the extra points because you're already doing so well, but a point is a point, and an opportunity that would make you look even more appealing to colleges should always be accepted, even though you weren't exactly given a choice."

Newt nods, adjusting the strap of his bag that was starting to get uncomfortable on his shoulder. 

"And don't worry, I'm sure Thomas will warm up to you in no time."

Newt likes the idea of Thomas warming up to him so much that he actually looks forward to tutoring him the following day. Perhaps it was worth a few days of hostility from Thomas if he was going to get weeks of the real Thomas - if the bitter Thomas he had just met wasn't the real Thomas, of course. 


	4. Chapter 4

It takes Newt roughly ten minutes to hit send. 

The message is barely over a sentence or two and Newt spent ten minutes trying to hit send because it would be his first time texting Thomas. Maybe it didn't seem like a big deal, but to Newt, it was the biggest of all deals he had ever dealt with. He knew Thomas wouldn't ignore his message for the mere fact that if he did, Mr. Morris would be on his ass for the entire school year. That was the only thing that was keeping Newt sane at the moment. 

When he finally hits send, after looking over the message more than thirty times to make sure it was coherent and without any errors, he spent five more minutes staring at his screen and re-reading the message over and over once again. He wants everything to go perfectly, and it was much easier to pretend that was a possibility behind the screen of his cell phone than in person. Newt had accepted the fact that it was inevitable to screw up in front of Thomas during their studying session. He didn't know how yet, but he began mentally preparing himself for it the night before because of how well he knows himself. 

_**Hey its Newt. Is it alright if we meet in the library after school today?** _

Newt spends another five minutes convincing himself that there was nothing wrong with the message but still feels as if it wouldn't meet Thomas' expectations - which is absolutely ridiculous because it was just a text message after all. He really needed to calm down.

He puts his phone back in his pocket because he knows if he kept it in his hand, he would keep staring at it until Thomas replied. There were only 20 minutes left of math and Newt really didn't need anything else to feed his nerves. He had already been facing anxiety along with anticipation the night before, which was responsible for his lack of sleep. All he needed to do was breathe - that was what would get him through the period. 

His phone buzzes nearly ten minutes later and Newt waits until Mr. Morris turns around to check his phone. 

_**doesnt mattr.** _

And a few seconds later he gets another message. 

_**and im only stying for an hr** _

The text message barely has any meaning, but Newt considers printing it out and framing it just for the hell of it. 

Newt doesn't even reply as the bell was going to ring in a few minutes and he couldn't think of anything he could say back, anyway. 

Before Newt could stand up to leave, Mr. Morris had dropped a huge textbook on Newt's desk which startled him as he was packing up his stuff. It was obviously a Geometry book, and it was obviously over 1000 pages. Newt was honestly better off teaching Thomas Geometry off the back of his head. There was no way Thomas would be able to keep up if Newt doubted he could. 

Newt looks up at Mr. Morris, who has a witty smirk plastered across his lips. Newt can't deny how uncomfortable he feels with Mr. Morris hovering above him. 

"Ready to tutor?" he asks, not actually expecting an answer. Newt finds this common with Mr. Morris. He asks a lot of questions, but he never actually listens enough to hear the answer. All of his questions were rhetorical and Newt was growing a strong hatred for them. 

"You spoke to Thomas, right?" 

Newt nods.

"We're supposed to meet in the library right about-" 

Newt looks down at the imaginary watch that resided on his wrist for emphasis. "Now."

He stands up and grabs all of his things including the ridiculously large textbook and says goodbye to Mr. Morris before he starts heading over to the school library. Everyone is moving in the opposite direction, and Newt spots Winston on his way there. 

"Tutoring?" Winston asks and Newt nods, smiling softly. They had talked about it briefly during lunch and Newt tried to remain calm as they did. Talking about Thomas in front of someone besides himself was also a big deal to Newt. Not as big as texting him had been, but big. 

"You need some help with that? Looks pretty heavy."

"It's fine I got it. Thanks, Wins. I'll see you tomorrow, alright?"

Winston smiles at Newt, which was his silent way of telling him good luck. They part their separate ways and Newt finally makes it to the library, picking a table near the large windows that revealed the track and the football field, along with the bleachers. When Newt went to the library on his own, that was exactly where he would sit each time. He liked seeing the sunset over the field. It was quite relaxing. 

On other occasions, when it was warm enough, Newt would sit on the bleachers for some alone time and soak up the fresh air to soothe his nerves. It was one of his favorite things to do and he couldn't wait for a sunny day with good weather so he could do it again. 

Newt sits down and flips through the textbook to see what Geometry could possibly fill up 1000 pages. Apparently there was much more Geometry than he was aware of. 

He spends a few minutes flipping through the book and looking up every time the doors in the library open to see if it was Thomas, but it never was. After fifteen minutes passed, Newt was beginning to get weary. The thought of Thomas standing him up make his heart ache and he told himself to breathe over and over so he wouldn't freak out. There was no way in hell Thomas would do that because he was aware of what was on the line if he did. 

Though Newt was capable of making himself believe Thomas was actually on his way, that still didn't fix the fact that Thomas was making Newt wait on him. It wasn't that hard to hurt Newt's feelings, and Thomas was doing so without even being aware of it. 

It takes Thomas almost a half hour to finally step into the library and by the time he does, Newt's eyes had fluttered closed and he was on the brink of falling asleep. Thomas sits across from him and pats him on his cheek to wake him up. Newt slowly sits up straight and looks at Thomas, frowning. 

"What time is it?" he asks and Thomas checks his phone. 

"Almost 3. Sorry I'm late. I was busy."

Newt refuses to believe he was actually busy due to how swollen his lips were. He feels a sting of jealousy when he thinks of Thomas standing him up to make out with Teresa, but he pushes it away and forces himself to suck it up. 

"It's okay," Newt says delicately. "Just try to be on time next time, okay?"

Thomas looks at Newt and his tense expression softens a bit. He nods and sighs.

"So where do we start?" Thomas asks, gesturing to the textbook. 

"Well, Mr. Morris gave me this huge textbook, but I think we should start by refreshing on Algebra. Does that sound good?"

Thomas raises his eyebrows. "Good?" he says, and it sounds more like a question than a statement. 

"What do you remember?"

Thomas takes a few seconds to pretend to think before he replies. "I remember it being really hard. That's just about it."

Newt sighs. "Here's the thing about math: if you don't understand one part of it, it's gonna' be really hard to learn the rest. The reason being one section of math always relates to another. Do you get what I mean?" 

Thomas shrugs. "If you're suggesting we should go over Algebra before Geometry, then yeah."

"The thing is - Mr. Morris wants us here for Geometry and not Algebra. Maybe I can try and teach you both along the way to save some time."

"I guess."

Newt is beginning to realize how uncooperative Thomas tends to be.

"Okay, then how about we start with something simple."

"Like?" Thomas asks, leaning back in his seat.

"Circles."

Newt picks up his pencil and tries to his best ability to draw a circle, but it comes out looking more like an oval. Either way, Thomas should get the idea because of common sense. He draws a line in the middle of the circle and draws a dot as well.

"So do you know what a radius is?"

Newt is grateful when Thomas nods.  

"Half of the diameter."

"And do you know what the circumference of a circle is?"

Thomas stays silent for that question and for some reason, that doesn't surprise him.

"Do you at least know how to find the circumference of a circle?"

Once again, Thomas stays silent. 

"Oh boy."

Newt began scribbling a few words on the sheet of paper he had in front of him. He had labeled a few parts of the triangle and he wrote down two equations. 

"So-" Newt starts, but Thomas interrupts him briefly. 

"Wait."

Newt looks up at him and waits for Thomas to respond. He hopes he isn't doing anything wrong. 

"Can I sit next to you? It might be a little easier to explain, you know?"

If Newt said Thomas' words did not make him the slightest bit excited, he would be lying to himself. It takes him a few seconds to actually respond, but he nods and mutters, "Uh, yeah. Sure."

Thomas stands up and pulls his chair next to Newt, sitting a respectable distance from him. Though that doesn't prevent their arms from brushing against each other, and Newt stiffens as his breath catches in his throat. Thomas' skin is soft, and even though their skin only touches for barely a second, Newt feels his heart race and swell within his chest. He realizes he has to practice keeping his facial expression neutral whenever Thomas affects him like he always does because he's positive his face reveals it all. But he tries to push it away. 

Newt has to mentally ask himself where he left off because of how much Thomas had distracted him, and he tries to be as calm as possible when he begins to speak. 

"So the circumference of a circle is like the perimeter of a square. It's basically the distance around the circle. Does that make sense?"

Thomas nods. 

"Good. To find the circumference, you need to multiply the diameter by pi."

Newt scribbles the equation down on the piece of paper and looks over at Thomas to see him staring down at it. Newt chuckles at his expression. 

"Okay, this might make it a little easier. In freshman year, Mr. Morris taught us this cute little phrase that might help you remember both the circumference of a circle and the area of a circle."

Thomas is listening to Newt quite contently, and it gives Newt reassurance to continue. 

"Cherry Pies are delicious," Newt says, underlining the c in the equation, followed by the pi symbol and the d. "Apple Pies Are Too," he finishes, writing the equation for the area of a circle. It takes a few seconds for Thomas to understand but when he does, his face lights up and he smiles. 

"Oh! I get it!"

Newt smiles back at him. "So let's try it out."

He flips the paper over to the blank side and draws another circle, providing the diameter but not the equation. He hands the pencil over to Thomas and Thomas writes out the equation and Newt watches as he tries to solve the problem, but stops to pull out his phone. 

"What are you-"

"Calculator," Thomas says, waving his phone. Newt smiles again and lets him continue, watching in silence as Thomas completes the question. He gets it right, thankfully, and Newt tells him to find the area after he had finished. Thomas appeared to be reciting the phrase within his head, but after he did, he wrote down the equation and completed it, getting it correct once again. 

"This is good. But as you probably know, math is usually never this simple. This might get a little difficult so I'll understand if you don't understand. Just make sure you specify what it is you don't understand so I can explain it to you, alright?"

"Alright."

Newt began explaining chords and tangents and Thomas wasn't that confused until he started talking about sectors and segments. Newt made sure to take his time and by the time the hour had passed, Newt had been able to explain most of the basics of circles and Thomas was beginning to understand it. 

They both stood up and packed their stuff up, heading to the front of the school so they could both go home. Newt realized he was stuck lugging the textbook around and was not happy about that so he decided to leave it at home and to not use it during their tutoring sessions. Newt was too afraid to say bye to Thomas, so he kept walking while Thomas walked over to his car. 

He only made it a few steps before Thomas stopped his black Ford Mustang beside him in the street and rolled his window down. "Do you need a ride home?"

Newt briefly considers saying no because he feels like his heart had enough trauma for one day, but the air is too chilly and his body is disagreeing with his heart as he begins to shiver. 

"It is pretty chilly," he says as he re-adjusts the heavy textbook that was in his hands.

"Hop in."

Newt says nothing as he walks over to the passenger seat, struggling to properly open the door until Thomas leans over and opens it for him. He blushes and mutters a thank you before getting in the car and buckling up his seat belt and telling Thomas where he lived. Thomas pulls off a few moments later and the car ride is rather short and silent since Newt was far too nervous to say anything and Thomas didn't have anything to say. 

Thomas stops in front of Newt's house and Newt finally musters up the strength to speak. "Thanks."

Thomas looks over to him and gives him a smile so soft, it was barely noticeable. "It's the least I can do."

Newt spends a few seconds looking over at Thomas and he feels his stomach fill with butterflies because Thomas is looking back at him. He glances down at Thomas' lips and realizes they were no longer swollen, but he was reminded of Teresa and how he was taken. He sighs and looks away from Thomas, unbuckling his seatbelt and stepping out of the car. He doesn't say anything else as he walks to his front door, and Thomas doesn't actually drive off until the front door of Newt's house is closed completely. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Can we just take a moment to appreciate Thomas Sangster's hands??  
> 


	5. Chapter 5

"So how was the tutoring session yesterday?" Winston asks as they stand on the lunchroom line to get food. Newt wasn't a fan of school lunch, but his mom had lectured him on starving himself, so he ate just to make sure she didn't complain.

"Not bad, actually."

Winston picked up his tray. "Was he as stupid as he seems?"

"Thomas isn't stupid," Newt defends, frowning at Winston and picking up his own tray. "Math just isn't his strong suit."

Winston snorts. 

"I don't know what happened between you two yesterday, but you're obviously already under his spell. Why are you defending him, anyway?"

Newt doesn't say anything and instead finds himself shrugging as they started walking over to their usual table. 

"Are you coming to band practice today?" Winston asks. 

"Don't think so. I think I'm tutoring again. Why?"

"Wanted to know if you-"

Before Winston could finish his sentence, someone had bumped into Newt, causing his tray and it's contents to smash against his chest. The whole cafeteria went silent and Newt felt his cheeks heat up in embarrassment as he looked up, seeing Gally hovering above him with a smirk. 

"Whoops," he says, and Newt takes deep breaths in and out to calm himself down, but it doesn't work.There was a room full of eyes on him, and Thomas was one of them. Newt looks over to Thomas and Thomas is looking back at him with a sad expression, yet he still doesn't say anything. Instead, he tears his eyes away from Newt's glance and looks down, pretending as if nothing was happening. Teresa was laughing beside him, using her hand to cover her mouth and Thomas didn't make an effort to do anything.

And as much as this hurts Newt's feelings, he can't find it in himself to be truly mad at Thomas. Even as he feels the back of his eyelids burn with tears, he can't seem to stop his heart from beating out of his chest as he looks at him. He feels stupid for still wanting him and he tries as hard as he could to suppress the tears, but he could feel them threatening to spill.

"Aww no," Gally pouts mockingly. "Is the little baby about to cry?"

Newt wished Alby was around to do something, but he wasn't, and he knew he chance at being saved had gone out of the window. So rather than sticking around, Newt began running out of the cafeteria, wiping the tears away after he had gotten far enough. He heard footsteps following behind him, which he wished were Thomas' but knew they were Winston's, and didn't stop until he had stopped him.

"Newt," Winston says sympathetically, trying to hold onto Newt's arms to make sure he doesn't continue to flee, but Newt rips his arms away. He doesn't mean to do it so aggressively, but he's so angry and sad that he didn't really think about it. The angry tears continue to fall and he feels pathetic for letting Gally get to him so easily in front of Thomas. He's so mad at himself, but he knew there was nothing he could do about it anyway. 

"It'll be okay. Let's just go to the bathroom."

Newt sniffles and takes a few seconds to calm down before he follows Winston to the bathroom, groaning as he wipes his eyes. "I hate him so much, Wins."

Winston opens the door for Newt before following him in. "Believe me when I say I hate him just as much as you do. I'm sorry I didn't-"

"You don't have to keep apologizing about that. I don't expect you to."

Newt grabs a paper towel and wets it with water and starts wiping at his oversized gray hoodie. Winston leans against the sink and crosses his arms. 

"But I should've. If I wasn't being such a wimp, I might have been able to be a good friend and defend you. "

"It's alright. I mean it's not your fault Gally is such a dick."

Newt keeps wiping his hoodie but to no avail as the stain was too stubborn to come out. Eventually, he gives up trying to rub the stain away and just takes it off, deciding he would put it in his locker. 

"Are you feeling better?"

Newt nods his head. "You can head back if you want. I think I'm gonna' go talk to Mrs. Patterson for a bit. It's been a while, anyway."

Winston stays for a few more seconds, making sure Newt was alright before he left the bathroom and told Newt he would see him later. Newt rested his hands on the edge of the sink and took a look in the mirror, feeling thankful to see his eyes were not red and puffy from the tears. His cheeks, however, were still flushed pink and he sighed. There were a few people in the hallways when he left the bathroom, so he hung his head down and avoided eye contact with them to prevent further humiliation. 

Mrs. Patterson's door was open and Newt peeked his head in to see her placing books on the desks. Newt steps into the classroom as she turns around and she smiles at him. 

"Hi, honey. What's the matter?"

Newt smiles back at her softly and leans against her desk, playing with a loose string on his jeans. "Do you think it's stupid to like someone that'll never like you back?" he whispers gently, and Mrs. Patterson looks at him with a knowing expression.

"I hope we aren't talking about who I think we're talking about," she responds, walking over to her desk and leaning against it with her arms on the edge beside Newt.

Newt doesn't say anything because he knows he doesn't have to, and Mrs. Patterson sighs.

"Well, what makes you think he'll never like you back?"

"He's Thomas and I'm Newt," Newt responds blankly as if that was obvious. 

"So?" Mrs. Patterson says, chuckling. "You are the brightest student I've ever met, Newt. Anyone would be lucky to have you. And if he can't see that, he honestly isn't worth your time, sweetheart." 

Newt thinks she's right, but he doesn't think telling himself that would help him get over Thomas. "What about Teresa? Thomas is like in love with her."

"Between you and me, that girl is shallower than a rain puddle."

Newt can't help but laugh at that. Mrs. Patterson smiles at him. 

"Besides, if it's meant to be-"

"It will be," they say together. Mrs. Patterson pats his shoulder. 

"And plus I heard about this tutoring thing with you and Thomas. You never know what can happen, Newt."

 And at that, the bell rings that signaled lunch was over and 5th period was about to start. Newt stands up straight and smiles at Mrs. Patterson. 

"Thanks."

"No problem. But don't forget what I said."

Newt nods and leaves her classroom, falling into thought as he walked to History. He's not one hundred percent sure what she meant when she told him to be careful, but in his mind, he thinks falling harder for Thomas was worth the risk.

 

 

A few minutes before last period ends, Newt's phone buzzes in his back pocket. He takes it out under his desk so the teacher wouldn't see and expects to see Winston's name since he was the only person besides his mom he ever texted, but instead he saw Thomas'.

**_i dont have practice today are we on?_ **

Newt stares at the message for quite some time before he responds, telling Thomas to meet him in the library. After the bell rings, Newt quickly packs up his stuff and begins walking to the library. He's surprised when he sees Teresa in the hallway without Thomas by her side, and he gets angry just looking at her. She's laughing with her two friends Sonya and Harriet, and Newt can honestly say he likes them better than Teresa for obvious reasons.

Sure Sonya wasn't the brightest girl out there and Harriet was a little, okay maybe a lot, on the sassy side of the teenage girl spectrum, but they were a lot nicer compared to Teresa. Newt doesn't dwell on the sight of her for long, and he continues walking to the library, opening the doors and walking to his usual spot near the window. Thomas was already at the table with his fingers crossed and he was staring out the window until he saw Newt approaching. 

"Hey," Thomas says, smiling at Newt softly. 

Newt sits beside Thomas and gives him a soft smile as well. 

"I'm sorry about what happened during lunch. Gally can be a-"

"I know," Newt says, resting his arms on the table. "And I honestly don't really want to talk about it. So can we just get started? Please?"

Thomas frowns and nods, taking out his notebook and placing it in front of them. Newt can feel Thomas' eyes on him, and he doesn't look at him because he knows he'll melt. He opens it and goes to the first page, trying to find out where Mr. Morris had started. The first few pages are the basics they went over the previous day, so Newt settles on reviewing angles.

"You know what supplementary and complementary angles are, right?" 

Thomas nods. "Supplementary angles add to 90 and complementary angles add to 180."

Newt wants to laugh. "Other way around."

"Then I take that back," Thomas says, laughing at himself. 

Newt smiles and keeps his eyes on the paper, drawing two parallel lines with a transversal intersecting them. He scribbles down two of the alternate interior angles and pushes the notebook with the pencil to Thomas. 

"So based on what I just told you, fill in the missing angles."

Thomas picks up the pencil and Newt watches as Thomas fills in all of the angles without much of a struggle. That was a relief because if he wasn't able to do simple math like that, Newt would have a lot of work to do. He gets all of the angles correctly and this was also a relief to Newt. When Newt gives Thomas his next problem, Thomas starts talking.

"Tell me about yourself, Newt."

Newt raises an eyebrow. "Well, what do you want to know?"

Thomas doesn't lift his eyes and continues to scribble numbers on the paper. "Hobbies, likes, dislikes - anything you're willing to tell me. I just realized I know nothing about you besides your name."

"I like music and books," Newt says. _And you_ , he wants to say, but he doesn't. "That's what I spend most of my time doing besides spending time with my family."

"So tell me about your family," Thomas says, sliding the notebook back to Newt so he could check his answers, but Newt doesn't even look at it.

"They're amazing. Most of them are back in England, but I visit the ones' in America whenever I can. Except Uncle Janson, of course. He's a lunatic."

"Lunatic?" Thomas asks. Newt nods.  

"He was arrested 9 times for public indecency."

Thomas laughs. "Are you serious?"

Newt nods, laughing with Thomas. 

"What the hell did he do?"

"My family actually makes us vow to never speak of it, but I will say a majority of his arrests were over nudity and dildos. He's a drunk if you can't already tell."

Thomas continues to laugh, and Newt feels his heart swell at the sound of his voice. He feels himself sinking further into the pool of reasons why he was so in love with Thomas and an overwhelming sensation suddenly washes over him. Newt wishes there was something he could do to ease the ache in his chest, but there wasn't. Deep inside he knew there was something about Thomas that had him hooked from the start and that was the reason why it would be so difficult to get over him. And quite frankly, Newt doesn't want to get over Thomas - even though he had never had him anyway. 

"What about yours?"

Thomas' smile fades, but not completely. This makes Newt feel as if he said something wrong, but Thomas starts to speak up before he could apologize.

"Not as hilarious as your family seems," Thomas replies, playing with his fingers. "My parents got a divorce a few years ago, which isn't surprising. They weren't all that compatible to begin with. My dad is still a little bummed out from it and I think that's why he pushes me so much when it comes to football. I guess he doesn't want me to become a lost cause."

Newt frowns and Thomas looks up at him, sighing. 

"Sorry. I didn't mean to drop such a sad bomb on you like that. I just," Thomas pauses to sigh again. "I just never get the chance to talk about things like that. There's no one to listen, you know?"

"What about Teresa?" Newt finds himself asking, even though her name tastes sour on his tongue. Thomas seems confused when Newt brings her up because his eyebrows furrow and he purses his lips. 

"I think she's too caught up in her own world to hear about mine, which gets tiring after a while. I love her and all, but sometimes I wish she would listen to me."

Newt cringes when Thomas says _love,_ but he realizes he has yet another reason not to like Teresa _-_ she was insanely selfish. This wasn't necessarily news to Newt, but knowing Thomas was aware of it was a relief. 

"I'm here if you need to talk," Newt offers, and Thomas gives him a soft smile. A smile that went straight to Newt's heart. 

"Thanks, Newt."

They look at each other for a while, and Newt snaps out of it when he realizes what they were there for. He turns his attention back to Geometry, and they continue their tutoring session for a while longer before they get up to leave. They walk out of the building side by side and Newt turns to say bye to Thomas.

"Where do you think you're going? My car is that way," Thomas says, pointing in the other direction. 

"I usually walk home, Thomas."

"Well, you're not walking home. From now on, I'm your ride home."

Thomas unlocked the car door and gets into the driver's seat while Newt chuckles and gets into the passenger seat. The ride is quick and Thomas fills the silence by turning on the radio and singing along to all of the songs. Newt smiles the entire drive, and he is disappointed when Thomas stops in front of his house. 

"Bye Thomas."

Thomas smiles at him and waves goodbye while Newt exits the car, closing the door behind him. When he gets inside of his house, he hears Thomas' car drive off and his mom is standing there with her eyebrows raised. 

"Who was that?"

Newt smiles. "Nobody."

Newt runs up the stairs and his mom yells after him when he gets to the top. "What aren't you telling me, Newton? Don't make me come up there, young man!"

The smile that was on Newt's lips refused to disappear, and everytime Thomas made his way back into Newt's brain, the smile widened. When Newt to sleep that night, the image of Thomas smiling at him set his heart on fire and it kept him up for hours, but Newt didn't mind one bit.

 

 


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for all of your cute comments! They really motivate me to keep writing ♥
> 
> X

During his free periods, Newt likes to spend his time reading on the bleachers. It's rather quiet when Mr. Sanders doesn't have a gym class, and the autumn weather is the perfect mixture of warm and chilly that make for the perfect reading environment. 

Unfortunately, that morning when Newt tried to put on his contacts, they had begun to irritate his eyes more than they ever had before, so he settled on wearing his glasses, even though he hated wearing them. His mom promised him she would get him a new pair of contacts by tomorrow, but Newt wasn't sure of how true that was. 

Newt had his book on his lap and he was biting his nail as he read every word that made up each sentence. It was roughly his 5th time reading the book, but it seemed to get better every time he read it. If Newt had to choose, he would say it was his favorite book of all time simply because of how easy it was to picture each event. 

Just as he was about to finish his page, he hears quick footsteps followed by a banging sound near the bottom of the bleachers, and he looked up to see Winston sprawled over the first three. Winston picks his head up and waves with a smile. Newt chuckles. 

"Are you alright?"

"I'm fine," Winston chortled, finding his footing and carefully walking to where Newt was sitting.  He took a seat beside Newt and looked down at his book before looking back up at him. 

"Whatcha' doin'?" Winston says, smiling again. 

"What does it look like?" Newt jokes. "By the way, is your face feeling okay? You hit it pretty hard down there," he teases with a smile, and Winston shoves him. 

"Shut up."

They smile at each other and Newt puts his bookmark in his book and puts it to the side. There was no way he was going to get any reading done with Winston beside him.

"Are you skipping, Wins?" Newt asks, and Winstons eyes avert from Newt's. Newt hits him in his shoulder. 

"Winston!"

"Fisher was boring the crap out of me! There was no way in _hell_ I was staying in that classroom, Newt."

Newt shrugs and nods his head. Fisher could be a bore sometimes. The only reason Newt could stay awake in his class was because of Alby. 

"Still. There's only like 15 minutes left of class. You really couldn't make it through the rest?"

"Whatever man - I'm here to stay. Until the bell rings, of course," Winston says, leaning his arms against the bleacher that was a row behind them. 

Newt rolls his eyes before he looks up at the sky, squinting his eyes and smiling at the warm feeling of the sun. 

"You're tutoring again today, aren't you?" Winston says suddenly with disappointment. 

"Most likely," Newt replies, looking over to Winston, but Winston was not looking back at him. Instead, he was looking ahead at the field with his eyebrows furrowed.

"Is this gonna' to be an everyday thing?"

"I don't know, Wins. Are you bothered by it or something?"

He shrugs. "I just miss hanging out with you after school, that's all."

They're silent for a few seconds before Winston starts speaking again. 

"Do you like Thomas?"

Newt feels his breath hitch in his throat and he stops breathing for a few seconds. The only person who knew that Newt was head over heels for Thomas was Mrs. Patterson, and Newt didn't even told her - she figured it out on her own. He didn't want to lie to Winston, but he didn't want to tell him either. 

Sure Newt and Winston were close friends, but Newt didn't think they would ever talk about things like that. He hadn't even told Winston that he was gay because he didn't feel the need to. They always talked about teenage boy things like comic books and video games, and there was no room for talking about Thomas because Newt was sure Winston wouldn't want to hear about him, anyway. 

"He's alright," Newt finally says.

"Well I don't. He's obnoxious. And an idiot, may I add."

So maybe Newt overthought Winston's question. And maybe he was a little offended every time Winston trash talked Thomas. For some reason, Newt always jumped to Thomas' defense, even though Thomas had never done so in return. 

"How would you know if you've never talked to him?"

"Have you heard him speak?" Winston retorts. "Or are you too lost in his eyes to hear a word that ever comes out of his mouth?" 

"Okay so maybe he's not the best at academics, but he's nice."

Winston snorts. "To who? You? Yeah, right. The only reason he's nice to you is because you're helping him pass a class he can't pass on his own."

Newt is sure Winston wasn't trying to hurt his feelings, but his words still feel like a slap across the face. He was right because before Mr. Morris forced Newt into tutoring Thomas, Thomas had no idea Newt even existed, and that was why his words had hurt Newt so much. 

Newt sighs and picks up his book along with his bag, slinging it over his shoulder and walking down the bleachers and away from Winston. "I'll see you during lunch, Wins. The bells' about to ring anyway."

"Newt," Winston called apologetically, and Newt gave him a soft and reassuring smile, even though his heart felt dull within his chest due to his harsh words. Newt hated how sensitive he could be sometimes, and he wished he could do something to change that part of himself.

"It's alright. I'll see you later, okay?"

Winston nods and Newt walks back to the school just as the bell rings. The hallway fills with students as soon as it does, and Newt tries to walk as fast as he could to his next period class so he wouldn't be late. While he was rushing, he looked up and made eye contact with those familiar brown eyes and his knees nearly gave out on him. Thomas was walking with Minho and Newt swears he flashes a smile at him before he enters the History classroom. 

Newt suddenly thinks of what Winston said, but he's no longer upset by it because he realizes he doesn't care. And so what if Thomas only talked to him because he was his tutor? Having his momentary attention would always beat not having his attention at all in Newt's mind.

 

 

After school, Newt heads to the library to meet up with Thomas. There were only about three other people in the library when he had entered, and this was not surprising since there was usually a maximum of ten people in the library at a time. 

As Newt rests his bag down on the chair, he sees Thomas approaching him with a wide smile on his face. Seeing a smile on Thomas' face was always a pleasure, but Newt knew something was up by the way he was looking at him. When Thomas stops in front of Newt, his smile only widens, and Newt can't help but smile back, pushing his glasses further up the bridge of his nose. 

Newt then realizes Thomas was holding something behind his back, and Thomas lifts it up, revealing a paper with a C- on the front that was circled with red ink. Newt gasps as his jaw slacks and he smiles wider at Thomas. 

Before he knows it, Thomas is engulfing Newt in a tight hug and Newt feels himself slipping and melting in his grasp. He barely registers what was happening and it takes him a few seconds to wrap his arms around Thomas as well, trying to mask how much he was trembling. Thomas' arms felt so strong around Newt and Newt could honestly say he never wanted to let go. He wanted someone to fuse them together so Thomas would never unwrap his arms from around him because he felt oddly safe within them.

And Thomas' smell - oh _god_ , it tore Newt to shreds. He smelt like cologne and everything Newt assumed a man would smell like, and Newt wished he could make a candle out of it so he would never forget it. 

"Thank you," Thomas mutters into Newt's neck and Newt doesn't think he can handle all of these overwhelming sensations all at once. The warm breath that hits Newt's neck is almost too much, and he has to resist the urge to clutch at Thomas' shirt to keep himself in one piece. 

A few moments pass and Thomas finally lets go of Newt, leaving him drunk off of Thomas' touch. He feels dizzy when they pull away, and while Thomas sits in his chair without a problem, Newt has to hold on to the edge of the table to make sure he doesn't fall on his face or, even worse, pass out.

"You should've seen the look on Morris' face. That is honestly the highest grade I've ever gotten in his class," Thomas jokes while Newt is still taking deep breaths in and out to slow his racing heart.

"Anyways, how's your day going?" Thomas asks as he starts to pull out his notebook.

By then, Newt had stopped shaking and he was grateful for that, but also saddened by the fact that Thomas was no longer holding him. At least now he actually had air in his lungs.  

"Well," Newt responds after he gulps. "Not very eventful," _excluding their amazingly warm_ _embrace, of course,_ "but well."

Thomas nods at Newt and they stare at each other in silence for a few seconds. 

"We should start," Newt stutters, tripping over his own words. The sentence was surprisingly coherent, and Thomas chuckles at Newt while he opens his notebook. 

Newt attempts to teach Thomas more about translations and reflections, but he doesn't seem to be listening quite well. Instead, he's watching Newt carefully with a hint of a smirk on his lips. Newt tries to ignore his gaze, but it starts to cause his cheeks to heat up again and his sentences become broken as he gets even more distracted by him. 

He has a feeling that he's rambling aimlessly about nothing because he's so nervous, and all he wanted to do was make sure he wasn't embarrassing himself in front of Thomas. Obviously he was failing miserably at doing so while Thomas was practically burning holes through the side of Newt's face. Eventually, Newt stops trying to explain entirely. 

"Am I not making any sense?" 

"You are," Thomas responds.

"Then why are you staring at me like that?" Newt asks in a small voice, looking up at Thomas.

"You look cute with your glasses," Thomas says, maintaining their eye contact. "You should wear them more often."

And that's it - Newt is _falling apart_. All of the efforts he had made in order to keep himself together had gone out of the window and ultimately ceased to exist. 

He feels his cheeks heat up as he blushes, and Thomas smiles at Newt, causing him to look away. If Newt had continued to look at him, he probably would lose his ability to breathe once again, and he was getting impatient with himself and his inability to cope with Thomas' presence. 

In an attempt to prevent any further humiliation, Newt clears his throat and dismisses the topic of discussion. He gives Thomas a problem to complete and Thomas starts doing it right away without asking any questions. 

But when Thomas starts to write, Newt can't help but stare at Thomas' hands. 

He wonders why he had never taken a good look at them before, but then he realizes he literally had never been this close to Thomas until recently. Thomas' hands have crossed Newt's mind on more than one occasion, and the thoughts that came along with them weren't so innocent. They resembled those of Newt's dreams where he woke in the middle of the night covered in sweat and sporting an embarrassing hard on. 

Newt shifts in his seat and forces himself to look elsewhere while he waits for Thomas to finish. As usual, Thomas slides the book over for Newt to check his answers and begins talking, _again_. 

"What's your favorite song, Newt?"

Newts sighs. "It's rather hard to check your answers when you're chatting about, Tommy."

Thomas raises his eyebrows at the nickname but doesn't question it. "I can't help it if I'm curious."

He takes a few seconds pondering his answer and Thomas leans back in his chair, waiting for him to answer patiently. Regardless of how simple the question is, Newt always has a hard time answering it whenever someone asks. But he comes to a conclusion in his head and tells Thomas. 

"If I had to choose, I would choose Holocene."

"By?"

"Bon Iver."

Thomas hums and smiles. "I'll listen to it tonight."

And Thomas keeps his promise. Later on that night, Newt's phone vibrates on his bed beside him while he was reading on his stomach. He leans up on his arms and unlocks his phone, smiling as he reads the text. 

_**i might listen to this over and over until i fall asleep newt** _

Newt doesn't get a chance to respond as he receives another message. 

_**i dnt know what it is** _

And another. 

_**but fuck its amazing** _

_**i see y its your favorite** _

Newt and Thomas end up texting back and forth until 1 A.M that night, and Newt finds himself learning even more about Thomas and loving each aspect more than the other. For a little while, Newt forgets about Teresa, and he can enjoy the moment they have while pretending Thomas was his just for  _once_.  


	7. Chapter 7

The following days for Newt were rather uneventful. Thomas wasn't able to attend quite a few of their studying sessions due to football practice because their next game was in a few weeks, which ultimately meant homecoming was right around the corner. This didn't particularly affect Newt since he wasn't planning on going anyway, but all anyone could talk about was the game. 

The hallways were flooded in posters advertising it so the school could get as many students to attend as possible. If it wasn't already obvious, Newt's high school valued sports - _a lot_. That was why the football players were automatically put at the top of the food chain, putting people like Newt at the bottom, of course. 

It was quite upsetting for Newt to miss out on his only alone time he had with Thomas because Thomas never talked to him otherwise. And yeah, Thomas would text Newt every so often but it wasn't the same as sitting next to him and feeling his skin press against his if he was lucky. Nothing beat that. Not even the cute but assumingly platonic messages Thomas would send late at night could compare to seeing Thomas' eyes up close and admiring his toothy smile. Newt _lived_ for those moments. 

Because Newt was suddenly free, he and Winston began hanging out after school like they used to. They played video games and watched movies whenever Winston brought over his DVD's. But Newt couldn't deny how much he missed spending his afternoons teaching Thomas. It was pretty selfish of him to prefer spending time with his crush over his good friend, but Newt couldn't help himself. Once you're so close to getting something you wanted for so long, it's hard to forget about it. And that was how Newt felt every day. 

In English, they had finished reading The Catcher and The Rye and instead began to learn more about literary terms that were difficult to pronounce. Half of the class was barely paying attention and Newt knew Mrs. Patterson was getting impatient with them. She understood that last period was a horrible time to teach teenagers about strenuous polysyllabic words, but she was only trying to do her job. 

Even Newt was beginning to doze off, and he rested his cheek in the palm of his hand to keep his head up. He looked over to where Thomas usually sat to distract himself, but his seat was empty, and Minho looked miserable without his partner in crime beside him. It was rather strange for one to show up without the other, and Newt began to wonder where he had gone. 

He knew Thomas would sneak off to make out with Teresa every so often, even though the thought of it made Newt sick to his stomach, but he hadn't done that in a while, and Newt had a feeling that that was not what was happening. 

He shrugged and told himself to leave it alone because he had nothing to do with it after all. He wanted to stop worrying about Thomas so often, but it was hard to do so when all he ever thought about was Thomas. If Newt had to guess, he would say Thomas crosses his mind about a thousand times a day, so there was no way he'd go five minutes without wondering where he was.

"Newt?" Mrs. Patterson says in a low voice beside him. He looks up at her and she's looking back down at him with concern. "Is there something on your mind?"

Newt sits up straight and smiles at her. "Sorry. I just got distracted."

"I put this on your desk nearly 10 minutes ago and you haven't even looked at it," she says chuckling. "Are you sure everything's alright? You can take the pass and go to the bathroom if you'd like?"

Newt considers turning her down, but it wasn't like he was paying much attention anyway. He figures a walk and some water might wake him up, so he accepts her offer and stands up, walking to the front of the room and grabbing the bathroom pass before leaving the classroom. He walks over to the water fountain and gets some water before actually going to the bathroom. 

All he did was wash his hands, even though he didn't need too, and took a glance in the mirror, trying to find ways to pass time. He wasn't looking forward to going back to class, so he made it his mission to waste as much time as possible before going back. He paced the bathroom back and forth, swinging his arms and trilling his lips until a boy walked in and gave him a dirty look. It became rather awkward after that, so Newt left the bathroom and took very small steps so he would have more time to himself before he made it back to class. 

But then he started hearing two voices going back and forth, and they seemed to get louder with each second. It took Newt quite some time to realize the two people were yelling at each other, and when he listened closely, he realized how familiar the voices sounded. Newt continued to walk down the long hallway, but he stopped in his steps when he saw Thomas walk where the hallways intersected with Teresa following behind him. Thomas looks annoyed and tired, and he rolls his eyes as Teresa talks. Well, screams. 

"-you even listening? Look at me when I'm talking to you!" Teresa shouts, grabbing Thomas' arm and making him turn around. He still doesn't look at Teresa, looking past her instead, and Teresa continues to yell. 

"Do you know how I feel? How I've felt? All you care about is yourself!"

"Don't do that, Teresa," Thomas says, shaking his head. "Don't act like you're the fucking victim. All _you_ care about is yourself! You're shallow," Thomas screams, using his finger to count. "You're selfish," he continues, counting his second finger. "And you know what? I'm done. I'm fucking _done_."

Newt feels like he's invading their privacy by listening in on their conversation, but he can't find it in himself to walk away. He thinks it was because he had waited so long, _so long_ , for this moment, and he had a front row seat of it. 

When Thomas tries to walk away from her, she grabs him again, holding on to his arm. "Don't walk away from me!" she screams, but Thomas yanks his arm away from her grasp and shakes his head again, walking away anyway. 

"Fuck you, Thomas!" she yells at him from down the hall before turning and storming down the hallway Newt had been frozen still in. Teresa glares at Newt as she walks by, and she even has the audacity to shoulder him when she passes him. Newt grits his teeth, but doesn't say anything, and resists the urge to run after Thomas just to see if he was okay since he would probably be seeing him later. He stays put in his spot for quite some time, running over what had just happened in his head multiple times so he could reassure himself that it had actually happened.

He comes to an internal conclusion after a few minutes, and he begins to walk back to class after he realized he had been gone for over ten minutes. When he enters the classroom and looks over to Thomas' seat, it was still vacant, and Minho no longer looked miserable because his eyes were shut and he was practically asleep. Newt rests the hall pass on Mrs. Pattersons desk and walks back to his seat, sitting down as quietly as he could. Mrs. Patterson gives him a look when they make eye contact, and Newt nods his head, confirming he was okay. 

There were only about 20 minutes of class left, yet they went by insanely slow, and Newt was practically dozing off once again. He rubs his eyes and blinks them to keep awake, but the bell rings to save his boredom. He stands up and Mrs. Patterson gives him a soft smile as he walks out of the door. 

He was about to start walking to the library to meet Thomas, but he received a text message from him before he could. 

_**hey newt. sorry i cant make it today.** _

_**can i call you tonight to make up for it?** _

Newt sighs. He was looking forward to seeing Thomas, and the thought of him being too upset over the momentary quarrel they had to make it to their session made Newt jealous more than it did mad. But knowing that Thomas would call him later that night made up for it. 

_**Yeah sure** _

 

 

 

 

Because Newt was finally free, Winston came over and made himself at home like he usually did. It didn't occur to Newt that it had been so long since they spent time together until he saw Winston on his couch with his feet kicked up and his arms behind his head. It put a smile on his face, and he regretted not hanging out with Winston for so long. 

They watched some of their favorite movies together, still laughing at the same jokes and looking at each other whenever their favorite part was coming up. It didn't matter how many times Winston and Newt had watched movies together - they always found new things to admire every time they rewatched their favorite movies, which was why they always spent so much time watching them.

When Newt's mom came home, she kissed them both on top of their heads before resting her bag down on the table. 

"Are you staying for dinner, Winston?"

"I would love to, but my dad wants me home before 7 so we can pick my mom up from the airport."

"Really? Where has she gone?"

"London, actually," Winston smiles. "For work."

Newt's mom smiles back at him. "She might've seen mum and pop down there."

Winston laughs. "Maybe."

"Do you need a ride home, sweetheart?"

"No, it's okay," he says, shaking his head. "Thank you, though."

Winston stands up and Newt does too, giving him a hug before Winston gives Newt's mother a hug as well. Newt walked Winston to the door like he usually did and Winston waves at him, walking down his steps.

"I'll see you tomorrow, Newt."

"Bye," Newt says, waving back. When he gets back in the house, his mom had already started cooking dinner, and Newt started helping her. They usually cooked dinner together, and that was usually where they got most of their talking done. 

"It's been a while since he's been over, Newton. What happened?"

"My math teacher is making me tutor a football player in Geometry for extra credit."

"Oh god," she says, chuckling. "How's that working out for you?"

 _Amazing,_ he wants to say _._ It would only get better if Teresa was completely out of the picture. 

"Pretty good," Newt says, smiling. "He's nice."

"Well, that's good. At least you aren't stuck with some stuck up jerk, that's for sure."

Newt laughs, agreeing with her. He doesn't think he would be able to survive if Mr. Morris had assigned him as Gally's tutor. He would probably jump off a building before agreeing to that.

"Was he the boy that dropped you off the other night?" she asks, and Newt nods. 

"Yeah."

"He's quite fit, don't you think?"

Newt blushes. "Mum, stop it."

He had never directly told his mom about him being gay, but she always seemed to hint towards him by mentioning boys. He knew he would tell her eventually, but now didn't seem like the time to do so. She laughs at him and they finish cooking dinner, eating as a family after Newt's dad gets home. During dinner, they always talked about how their days went, and they always ended up laughing at a stupid story his dad had for them. 

Newt washed the dishes after they had finished eating and settled on doing homework and listening to music as he waited for Thomas' call. He had been waiting all day to talk to him, and he was getting anxious knowing the time was nearing. He would glance at him phone every minute, and he was barely getting any homework done when all he could think about was Thomas. It had almost been a week since their last tutoring session and Newt misses him. He misses him like one would miss someone they had not seen for months. It was ridiculous, actually.

Thomas finally called Newt around 9 O' clock, and Newt had to take a few deeps breaths before he picked up so he wouldn't sound like an idiot.

"Hello?" he says as calmly as possible.

"Hey."

"Hey." Newt sounds relieved just from hearing his voice and Thomas laughs on the other line.

"How are you?"

"Alright. And you?"

"I'm okay. Sorry I flaked today. I wasn't planning to, but something came up," Thomas says. "I have practice tomorrow, but I don't want to miss another session and I miss seeing you after school."

Newt feels a sense of satisfaction from hearing Thomas say that. He smiles and feels his heart flutter inside of his chest. "Me too."

"Would you mind waiting for me? It'll only be an hour."

"Yeah, sure."

"Great. Now where did we leave off?"

"I should be asking you that," Newt says, laughing softly. 

"I have no idea, though," Thomas responds, laughing back. Newt wasn't sure if they would be getting any work done since all they've been doing lately is talking.

They sit in silence for a few seconds until Newt speaks up.

"Tommy?"

"Yeah?"

"What happened with you and Teresa today?"

Thomas scoffs. "You heard about that? Already?"

"No. I saw."

"You did?"

"Yeah."

He sighs as Newt hears a creaking sound on the other line, and he guesses Thomas had climbed into his bed. Thomas doesn't say anything for a while, and Newt figures he's trying to find words to say. 

"It's complicated."

"I'm offering my ears to you, Thomas," Newt points out. "Remember what you told me?"

"Yeah."

"And what I told you?"

"Alright, fine. There's this guy named Aris and she's been seeing him behind my back."

Thomas doesn't sound sad or angry as he says it, and Newt is confused as to why. 

"Gally told me he saw them together a few weeks ago and I didn't believe him because - who would? He's Gally. He can only be trusted on rare occasions and I guess this was it. I had to see it for myself to believe it and I don't know why because it was so obvious. I knew Teresa couldn't handle being tied down to one person from the beginning but I still-"

Thomas stops and sighs. 

"You know what, it doesn't matter anymore. It's over now," he says. "Besides - I don't think I ever loved her, anyway. She was only around when everyone else was there to see."

"What do you mean?" Newt asks. 

"I don't know. I mean, now that I think of it, everything we did was about everyone else. She was so hell bent on making sure everyone saw us together that we rarely had actual alone time. It was like a show."

Newt thinks Teresa is stupid for ever taking someone as amazing as Thomas for granted. His heart was much bigger than it seemed and if Teresa couldn't see that, she never deserved him. He's angry that it took months for Thomas to realize how sour and bitter Teresa was, but he knows how blinding 'love' can be. He's been experiencing it since freshman year of high school.  

"But it really doesn't matter. If it was really meant to be, it would've been."

As soon as those words came out of Thomas' mouth, Newt immediately thought of what Mrs. Patterson had said to him. 

"Yeah. At least you found out sooner than later."

"Yeah, you're right."

"When am I not?" Newt jokes and Thomas laughs. 

The sound of Thomas' laugh puts a smile on Newt's face and he starts missing him even more. Sure he sees him every day, but he missed being beside him. He missed getting a close-up of Thomas' smile and every freckle that made his face so beautiful in Newt's eyes. 

"God, Newt," Thomas exhales.

"What?"

"You're different. And I like that."

 _And you_ , Newt wishes he adds, but, of course, he doesn't. That would only happen in Newt's wildest dreams. 

"Thanks," Newt murmurs. "And you're not a jerk."

"Thanks," Thomas replies sarcastically, snickering. 

"Aren't we supposed to be-"

"Yeah," Thomas says before Newt finishes his sentence. "But I'd rather spend the night talking to you."


	8. Chapter 8

After school, Newt walked over to the field and sat down on the bleachers, pulling his notebook out so he could finish his homework. He had an hour to spare, so he figured he could get some work done while he waited for Thomas. It took around ten minutes for the team to actually reach the field, and Newt watched as the boys jogged with Coach Sanders following behind them. 

It took Newt a few seconds, but when he realized Thomas was shirtless, he started screaming internally. Thomas turned around and looked towards the bleachers, smiling at Newt. He was practically drooling, but Newt still managed to smile back embarrassingly. He was going to wave at Thomas, but Thomas turned away quicker than he could. A few seconds later, Alby looked towards the bleachers and waved at Newt, and Newt waved back with a smile.

Almost the entire team was shirtless, including Minho, who Newt had never really taken a good look at because of how invested he was in Thomas. His shoulders were broad and his muscles were toned, but Newt couldn't find himself fawning over him like he did Thomas. He wasn't as toned as Minho was, but Thomas was still quite the sight, and Newt could barely take his eyes off of him. 

The team took their spots on the field, and Coach Sanders stood in front of them, yelling at them to start their warm-ups. They started with lunges, then they moved to back pedals before they started running. 

Newt was barely paying attention to his homework, as all was doing was staring at Thomas and how each of his muscles shifted every time he made a move. He was captivating, really, and Newt was fascinated with the way the sun made his sweat covered body glisten. 

When Thomas and Minho were running beside each other, Thomas shoved him causing him to trip over his feet, and he laughed while Coach Sanders scolded the both of them. Newt found himself chuckling along with Thomas, and Minho stood up with his hands and knees covered in dirt. He shoved Thomas back and Coach Sanders blew his whistle, ordering them to go on their separate sides of the field to begin drills.

Minho and Alby were on one side of the field doing passing drills while Thomas and Gally were on the other doing defense drills. Newt thinks they should really be wearing helmets for their safety, but it wasn't like they were tackling each other, so he thought it would be fine. 

After the boys finished the drills, Coach Sanders blew his whistle and gestured for them to get together. He talked to them about something Newt was unaware of due to his distance, but he didn't look away for them - he didn't look away from Thomas. He continued to stare as Thomas lifted his arm and rested it on Minho's shoulder, watching Coach Sanders with his eyebrows scrunched together as he listened to every word he said. 

Eventually, he did look up at Newt, and his facial expression softened as he looked at him. He didn't smile like he had before, but he returned Newt's glance and Newt found his stomach filling with butterflies as they stared at each other. He felt his neck and cheeks go up in red flames, and he looked down, pretending to write something so he could distract himself. He ended up writing gibberish on his paper, and he sighed at himself, erasing it and actually focusing on doing what he was doing before Thomas so _rudely_ stepped out on the field looking the way he did and walking the way he did. It was distracting. And pleasant, however. 

Newt actually got some work done when he put his mind to it and forced himself not to look up at Thomas. By the time practice was over and the boys were hitting the showers, Newt had finished most of his homework, and all he had left was History. 

He tried not to think about what Thomas would like in the shower as he waited, but he couldn't help himself, and his brain was suddenly filled with carnal and impure thoughts. This wasn't unusual, seeing as it happened quite often, but it was rather embarrassing whenever Newt spaced out in public. Especially when Thomas was leaning on the gate that was in front of the bleachers, waiting for him to snap back into reality. He did after a few seconds, and he found himself blushing once again, but he pushed the feeling away and stood up.

He walked to the bottom of the bleachers and smiled at Thomas.

"Hey," Thomas said, smiling back at Newt. 

His hair was still damp from the showers and Newt thought he looked more attractive than he usually did, but he assumed it was because he had seen him shirtless a few minutes prior. 

"Hey."

Thomas cocks his head to the right and gestured for them to start walking, and they weren't walking towards the library. "I still want to finish that conversation we had last night."

Newt smiles. "It wasn't enough for you? I went to bed at like 2 A.M."

"It'll never be enough! Every time we talk I feel like," he says, pausing to think."I feel like we're mapping the sky. It's weird."

"Mapping the sky? What the bloody hell does that mean?" Newt replies in confusion. Thomas shrugs. 

"I don't know, man. That's the first thing that came to mind, honestly."

Newt laughs.

"I was trying to be poetic."

"Poetic? That was poetic?" 

"I'm trying here!" Thomas chuckles. "Not everyone is a genius like you, Newt." 

Newt beams at Thomas, blushing at the compliment. "Charming won't make sense of your attempt at poetry. I'm still waiting for an explanation, Tommy."

"Sometimes we talk about things that make me question why things are the way they are, and my mom-" Thomas stops, pausing for a second or two. Newt looks over to him.

"She used to say the stars hold the answers the sun and moon don't, and that made me think of you. You have this really interesting way of thinking about things, and you help me think in ways I haven't before. So when we talk, it feels like we're mapping the sky because we're finding the answers the stars hold, you know?"

They're looking at each other and Newt thinks his words were rather sweet, but Thomas looks like he regrets every word he said. "That probably didn't make much sense."

"It did," Newt says, smiling. "Better than your first try."

Thomas smiles. 

Newt has no idea where they're going, but they're walking rather slowly, and they had barely made it past the football field. Their shoulders brush against each other every so often, and Newt was starting to get used to Thomas' touch, but that still didn't stop the subtle tremors that rushed throughout his body. 

"Remember when we started talking about infinities?"

It had started when Thomas suggested that everything came to an end, but Newt interjected with infinities. Thomas tried to think of something in response, but as usual, Newt won the debate.

"Of course I remember. I was on the phone too, you know," Newt teases as if it's obvious and Thomas groans.

"You know what I mean."

Newt laughs at Thomas' frustration and nods his head. "I remember."

"I've been thinking about it all day, and I don't think they're endless anymore."

"Isn't that what it means, though? Everlasting?"

Thomas nods. "But everything has an end, Newt. Including people. Forever and infinities are ideas made by people. So when people die out, so will infinities."

"Hmm," Newt hums, scrunching his nose. "I didn't think of it that way."

"Which means I've taken your spot as the genius of the geniuses," Thomas taunts playfully. 

"Oh please," Newt snorts. "What's 16 times 4?"

Thomas stops talking for a few seconds, assumably to do the math in his head, but he takes way to long to answer. Newt laughs at him and is suddenly reminded of what they were supposed to be doing. 

"Speaking of math-"

"Newt-" Thomas whines. 

"No excuses."

"But-"

"No excuses!" Newt scolded lightheartedly. "Mr. Morris'll kill the both of us if you fail. 

"The library is getting old. Can we go somewhere else, at least?"

"Like?"

"It doesn't matter as long. As long as it isn't the library."

Newt rolls his eyes. Okay, so maybe the library was getting a bit old. But where else were they supposed to go? It's not like their small town was flooded with places to go. 

"We should just stay outside," Thomas suggests. "The weathers' amazing today."

So they end up going to a small park not too far from the school, and Thomas lays down on the grass with his arms behind his head while Newt sits with his legs crossed beside him. There isn't much in the park besides a few lamp posts and a small pond, but the atmosphere felt rather welcoming to Newt. 

"Okay," Newt says, taking Thomas' notebook out of his bag for him because he looked too comfortable to move. "I'll quiz you on some stuff you learned to see where you are."

Thomas nods and closes his eyes, the sunlight making each feature of his delicate face to stand out even more. His dark eyelashes seemed to shine as the light hit them, and his lips were a darker shade of pink than they usually were. Newt takes in every bit of Thomas' appearance before he actually starts speaking. 

"What is the formula for the volume of a cylinder?"

"Uh," Thomas utters. "Base times height?"

"Yup. Cone?"

"Divided by 3."

Newt raises an eyebrow. "What's divided by three?"

"Base times height."

"Good. Circumference?"

"Cherry pies are delicious," Thomas laughs and Newt hits him in his arm.

"Okay okay, diameter times pi."

"And area of a circle?"

"Pi times the radius squared."

"Alright good. You need to sit up for these next questions, Tommy."

Thomas groans but leans up on his elbows and looks at Newt patiently. As Newt is speaking, Thomas reaches his hand out and softly brushes the hair that covered Newt's eyes away with the tips of his fingers. His touch is slow and delicate, and Newt has to stop talking because his voice starts to shake. He gets choked up and Thomas smirks at him with those _stupid_ pink lips.

They can barely get any studying done with the way Thomas was teasing Newt, but they manage to, and as usual, Thomas drives Newt home, but he stops Newt by grabbing his arm softly before he could get out and say goodbye. 

"Wait."

Newt turns to look at Thomas and lets go of the door of his car. "Yeah?"

"Are you busy tomorrow night?" he asks.

Newt shakes his head slowly. "Why?"

Thomas bites his lip and looks as if he's...nervous? Hesitant? Newt can't really tell the difference. 

"The team is having a bonfire at the beach tomorrow night and I was wondering if you wanted to come."

Does that count as a date? Newt thinks so. And he doesn't know what to do with himself as he stares at Thomas in shock. Did he really just ask that?

Apparently Newt takes much longer to say anything than he thinks because Thomas sighs and gives him a sad smile. "It's okay if you don't want to come. I just thought-"

"I do! Yes, I'll come," Newt blurts excitedly and blushes right after he says it. Thomas grins. 

"Cool. I'll pick you up tomorrow at 7?"

Newt nods his head and smiles, waving goodbye to Thomas and stepping out of his car. He can barely stand still with how excited he is, but a sudden thought crosses his mind that makes him quite anxious for tomorrow night:

Doesn't that mean Gally would be there too?


	9. Chapter 9

Newt doesn't get any sleep the night before the bonfire. He spends the entire night staring up at the ceiling with a pathetic smile on his face because Thomas had asked him to go on a non-official date. Thomas hadn't called it a date, but Newt thinks it is, and he thinks it's a step in a whole new direction he thought would never happen in his high school days. For the first time in his entire life, he felt like he was opaque. 

When he finally closes his eyes around 1:30 in the morning, all he can see is Thomas and all of his freckles, and the burning image only makes his smile widen. He spends a majority of the night picturing scenarios in his head before he actually falls asleep and wakes up the next morning. Most of that Saturday morning consisted of Newt trying to figure out what Thomas would say and what he would say in response just to make sure he didn't embarrass himself. He also spent about an hour debating on what he should wear but settled on his favorite sweater - a knitted grey fisherman sweater that he could hide his hands in whenever he needed. 

He figured he should wear something he felt the most comfortable in, especially since they would be outside after all. Newt stands in front of the mirror and gives himself a once over, pushing his glasses up the bridge of his nose. He hasn't stepped outside without them since Thomas called him cute and every time he puts them on, he feels all warm inside. It's a nice feeling to Newt. 

His mom opens the door to his room and peeks her head in with a smile. "The fit football player is waiting outside for you."

"Mum, stop calling him that," Newt says, a faint blush on his cheeks. 

"You haven't told me his name yet," she says chuckling. Newt walks over to the window and sure enough, Thomas is leaning against his car with a midnight blue letter jacket. He's never seen Thomas wear it before, and he can't deny just how _good_ he looks in it. 

"Thomas," Newt nearly whispers. "It's Thomas."

"Well, do you have a date with this Thomas?"

"Not exactly. He invited me to a bonfire the team is having."

Newt's mom smiles. "Sounds like fun. Don't get back too late, alright?"

Newt smiles back at her and kisses her cheek, grabbing his phone and waving goodbye to her before he heads out of his room and down the stairs. When he opens his front door, Thomas turns to look at him and his lips spread into a tight grin.

"Hey. You ready to go?"

Newt nods with a smile and Thomas stands up straight, opening the passenger side for Newt. After Newt gets inside the car, Thomas closes the door for him, jogging around the car to get in the drivers seat. Like usual, Thomas turns on the radio and hums along to the lyrics as they drive. His off tune singing is soothing to Newt, but he can't stop worrying about Gally.

"Thomas?" Newt asks, and Thomas glances at him for a second before looking back at the road. 

"What's up?"

"Is Gally gonna' be there?"

"Yeah, why?"

Newt sighs. "He hates my guts, Tommy."

"Hey, it'll be fine. Don't worry."

Newt is almost positive Thomas was just saying that without any knowledge of any truth actually being behind it. He's seen how much of a jerk Gally could be to Newt, but he still dismisses the idea of him doing anything to Newt at the bonfire. 

"How do you know?" Newt asks. 

"I'm not leaving your side," Thomas says reassuringly, and the corner of Newt's lips twitch. "And it'll be fun. I promise."

The beach was actually closer than Newt thought it was, as it was only about a twenty-minute drive. The sun had almost set completely by the time they parked in parking lot. Newt can see the bonfire from where they're parked, and he suddenly feels nervous just looking at the flames from a distance. They walk side by side to where the boys are, and the flames become more visible with every step they take.  

"It'll be fun," Thomas whispers to him again just before they make it to the boys and Newt takes a deep breath to calm himself down. 

Newt was relieved when he realized only a few people from the team were actually there, but he still felt a little uneasy standing in front of Gally. 

Minho stands up and Newt watches as Minho and Thomas handshake and hug. When they pull away, Thomas looks at Newt, giving him a comforting glance before turning to the boys along with Sonya, Harriet, and another girl named Brenda whom Newt has had a few classes with, but has never spoken to.

"Guys, this is Newt," Thomas introduces, and Newt tugs on his sleeves to hide his hands. He sees Alby smile at him, and he smiles back, feeling a little more at ease. 

"You brought this loser?" Gally says. "I'd honestly rather see Teresa."

Newt whimpers.

"Come on, man," Alby hisses. 

"Keep it up and I'll shove you into the fire, Gally," Thomas jokes, and Newt giggles. 

They take a seat on one of the logs beside Harriet and Alby and Newt feels a sense of gratification when his and Thomas' legs brush against each other briefly. The fire makes Newt feel warm and cozy, and he likes being able to enjoy it with Thomas by his side. 

Minho stands up and claps his hands together with a big smile on his face.

"Ladies and gentleman!" Minho calls, "And Gally," he adds, and everyone laughs. "Let the bonfire begin!"

Alby stands up and Newt watches in awe as they do a complex handshake. He can barely keep up with every movement of their hands, but after a few long moments, they finish their handshake but bumping their chests and howling at the top of their lungs. Thomas and Gally join in on their howling, and Newt laughs with Sonya and Harriet. 

"You guys better be careful or you'll fall into the fire," Brenda says. 

"Aww baby," Minho says, smirking. "Worried I'll get too hot?"

Brenda scoffs and rolls her eyes. "Bite me."

"Will do, sweetheart," Minho winks. 

Minho sits back down beside her and tries to put his arm over her shoulder, but she scoots away from him, crossing her arms over her chest. This doesn't stop Minho from trying, though.

"Are they always like this?" Newt asks, leaning over so Thomas could hear him. Thomas nods with a smile. 

"Minho's been trying to get with her for months."

"Does she like him back?"

" _I_ think so," Thomas says, looking over at them and laughing when Brenda stands up completely. Of course, Minho keeps trying, and Newt finds this rather amusing. 

When Newt looks over at Gally, he's glaring at him. Newt always wondered why Gally hated him so much, but it probably had something to with him just being a dick overall. Their eyes do not remain locked for too long because Sonya wraps her hand around his bicep and whispers in his ear. Gally smirks at her and Newt feels like he has to throw up as he watches them flirt. 

Minho passes Thomas two blue glass bottles and Thomas hands one to Newt before he opens his own and takes a few sips. Newt hasn't even opened his, and he just stares as it, looking at the labels to try and figure out what it was. Thomas laughs at him. 

"What _is_ this?" 

Thomas rests his bottle down, chuckling as he takes Newt's from his hand and opens it for him. "It's a wine cooler. Try it."

Newt knows his mom wouldn't be very happy with him drinking any forms of alcohol, even if he would practically be legal back in England. He still takes the bottle from Thomas and sips from it, taking a few seconds to himself to decide whether or not he enjoyed the taste.  

"You like it?" Thomas asks, smirking. Newt nods with a small smile, taking another sip.

They sip their wine coolers and while Thomas watches the fire sway with the autumn wind, Newt watches Thomas. He can't help himself - he can never help himself because the sight of Thomas never ceases to amaze him. He means it when he says Thomas is the greatest thing he has ever laid his eyes on, and looking at him made Newt's mouth go dry. He knows he's being obvious, but he can't find it in himself to look away. Thomas is just so beautiful.

Thomas' eyes revert to Newt's, and Newt's cheeks burst into flames. He looks away and Thomas chuckles dryly, lifting his free hand and using the back of his hand to gently caress Newt's cheek. His fingers only linger for a second or two, but it makes his cheeks heat up even more and his stomach fills with butterflies.

"Your cheeks are always red," Thomas mumbles. "I should really start calling you rosy."

Thomas glances around at the boys, but they were way too invested in their own conversations to pay any attention to the both of them. He takes a last sip of his wine cooler before setting it down on the ground and standing up. 

"Come on," he says, offering Newt his hand. "Let's go for a walk."

Newt takes his hand and stands, following Thomas as he begins to walk away from the fire. 

"Dude," Minho says before they can make it too far.  

"We'll be back. Just going for a walk." 

Minho nods and Newt swears he sees a subtle smirk on his lips. He and Thomas walk in the sand along where the water was softly crashing against the shore. The sun had already set, and the stars were beginning to come out in the night sky. 

"How're you liking the bonfire so far? It's not so bad, right?"

"It's good. Minho seems cool."

"He is. And he's more sincere than he lets on."

Newt finds himself tugging on the ends of his sleeves to hide his hands again. 

"Can I ask you something?" 

"Shoot," Thomas responds. 

"Why did you ask me to come?"

"It's our tradition," Thomas explains. "We can't come alone so we have to bring someone along every time."

"Oh," Newt says in disappointment, and the thought of Teresa suddenly resurfaces. Gally had mentioned her earlier, which meant that she used to come with Thomas before they broke up. When Newt thinks about being Thomas' rebound date, he feels a sharp pang in his heart that he wishes would just go away. 

"And I enjoy your company," he adds, nudging Newt with his shoulder playfully. 

"Really?" Newt asks, and his voice is filled with doubt. 

"Really," Thomas states with a smile. "I have a question for you, too. What do you want to be?"

"In life?"

"Yeah. In life."

"Happy."

Thomas cocks his eyebrows. "Happy?"

Newt nods. "Yeah."

"And what would make you happy?"

"Helping others. I wanna' be a doctor."

"A doctor?" Thomas exclaims in disbelief. "Fuck, Newt. That's...wow, that's amazing."

Newt smiles. "Thanks. I've always wanted to be a doctor."

"Dr. Newt," Thomas tests on his tongue. "Sounds good to me."

"And what about you?" Newt asks. "I know you're into football, so is that what you want to do?"

Thomas shrugs, shoving his hands into the front pockets of his jeans. It surprises Newt of how unsure Thomas is about football, but he remembers what he had said about his dad. Maybe he didn't like football after all. Maybe his dad was pushing him into doing something he wasn't passionate about to begin with. 

"I guess.”

“Do you love it?”

“I like it,” Thomas corrects Newt. 

“But do you love it?”

Thomas doesn't say anything, and instead uses the tip of his shoes to kick the sand. Newt sighs at him. 

“If you don't love it, you'll spend your entire life miserable, Tommy.”

“I know but-”

“No buts. What do _you_ love? What do _you_ want to do?”

Thomas scratches the back of his neck. “Art. I used to paint a lot when I was younger, but my dad insisted on handing me a football.”

“Seriously?”

Thomas nods with a smile and Newt smiles back at him. 

“You should follow through with it if it makes you happy.”

“How?”

“Keep painting! Go to university and major in it. Do whatever you have to do to be happy.”

“I can't. Dad's already getting me a full ride for football. He's had college coaches on my ass since sophomore year and I can't let him down. I can't do that to him.”

Newt thinks it's sweet how much Thomas cares about his father's wishes, but he needs to do something for himself for a change. “Then double major if you really want to make the both of you happy. Believe me when I say you'll be better off making decisions for your own benefit every once in a while.”

“You're right,” Thomas says. “Thanks.”

“No problem.”

In the time they've been together, they had walked pretty far from the bonfire, and when Newt turned around to look at it, he saw the faint flames shine in the dark night.

“You're into music as well, right?”

Newt nods. 

“What do you play?”

“The clarinet and the piano.”

“Sexy,” Thomas jokes and Newt chortles, feeling goosebumps prick the skin on his arms. “You gonna serenade me with your clarinet, rosy?”

Of course this makes Newt's cheeks burn red, and Thomas laughs at Newt. Newt shoves him. 

“I hate you,” Newt says. 

“You love me,” Thomas teases, leaning over so close to Newt that he can feel his breath on his cheek. And Newt can't deny it, but he doesn't say anything in response.

They talk for what feels like hours on end, and Newt's cheeks hurt from laughing and smiling so much. He finds his eyes lingering on Thomas more than they had before, and he finds Thomas looking back just as much. There was a nice feeling that came along with Thomas looking at him, and Newt thinks he's figured out what love is just from Thomas’ glance. It's a scary thought, but Newt is content with it.

When they realize they've probably walked half a mile away from the rest of the group, they turn around and start walking back, and their conversation does not falter one bit. Thomas seems eager to find out every bit of information there is to know about Newt, and Newt finds this reassuring because, in a way, it was proof that Thomas actually somewhat cared.

The bonfire slowly comes back into view as they walk, and the heat of it starts to warm Newt back up, but his shivering does not halt to a stop. In fact, it gets worse as his and Thomas’ hands brush together. Static runs throughout Newt's body and Thomas’ smile only makes it worse. He feels overwhelmed with emotions just being next to him.

Gally and Alby are the only two sitting around the bonfire by the time Newt and Thomas get back, and when Newt looks over to the other side of the beach, he sees Minho playing volleyball barefoot with the girls. It isn't surprising that he's on a team with Brenda, but it is surprising seeing Brenda with a smile on her face while also being next to Minho.

Minho picks Brenda up and spins her in a circle when they get a point, and Sonya and Harriet are jokingly taunting them. Newt smiles at them and realizes that maybe they weren't so bad. He had nothing to worry about after all.

For the first time in the entire night, Newt checks his phone and his jaw drops when he sees what time it is.

“Shit,” he cusses, and Thomas looks over to him.

“What's wrong?”

“It's getting late. Can you drop me home?”

Thomas nods. “Yeah sure. I'll meet you by the car.”

Newt waves to Alby and avoids Gally’s hostile glance, walking over to the car while Thomas jogs over to Minho to assumably say goodbye. Newt is waiting for barely a few minutes, and Thomas gets in the driver seat, turning the car on and pulling off.

He's drumming the wheel to the rhythm of the music as they drive, and Newt finally feels completely calm. The windows are down and the cold breeze whistles throughout Thomas’ car, singing with the radio in synchronization.

Newt always dreads the moment Thomas' car comes to a stop because that means they would have to part ways and he would have to go hours without being in Thomas’ presence. Their calls and texts were never enough for Newt, and nothing could ever beat the feeling he got inside whenever Thomas was around.

The lights within Newt's house were off, which meant his mom had probably gone to sleep since she's always so tired. Thomas puts the car in park and looks over to Newt, and Newt looks right back.

“Thanks for coming. I'm really glad you came,” Thomas says, his light eyes practically glowing in the dark light. Newt is fascinated by them.

“Me too. I had a good time.”

Thomas continues to stare at Newt and Newt doesn't dare to look away. The air around them felt tense to Newt, and he wasn't sure why this was, but he was aware of it. He's surprised that neither one of them felt or seemed uncomfortable because they were sitting in dead silence for quite a while just looking at each other. And he doesn't want to move because he feels like that would mess the moment up. 

Suddenly, Thomas' eyes fall to look at Newt's lips and it takes Newt a few seconds to realize that Thomas is inching closer to him. As soon as he realizes, he holds his breath and digs his nails into the car seat to calm himself down. He refuses to believe it's actually happening, and he wants to pinch himself so he knows he's not daydreaming, but he doesn't want to risk messing anything up. 

Thomas stops leaning in right before their lips touch and Newt is quivering while he stares at Thomas' lips. His heart is practically beating out of his chest and Newt has a feeling he's going to pass out due to the lack of air present in his lungs. He wasn't breathing - he couldn't breathe because Thomas was taking away his ability to. He wants to lean forward to close the distance between them, but he's too afraid to. He doesn't know what could happen if he does, but he wants to know so desperately. 

Their lips are an inch apart, and Newt is sure he would dig a hole in the seat of Thomas' car if they stayed like that for any longer. Thomas swallows before letting his breath hit Newt's lips, reaching his hand up and placing it on Newt's neck with his thumb caressing the curve of his jaw. Newt closes his eyes and Thomas connects their lips right after he does. 

Newt's mind is blank, as he is incapable of thinking about anything or focusing on anything besides the fact that Thomas was actually kissing him. After four years of obsessing over him, Thomas was actually kissing him. 

His lips are soft and delicate against Newt's, and they taste sweet like the wine coolers they had a while ago. Newt finally starts breathing through his nose after he starts getting dizzy, but he wasn't sure if it was Thomas or his lack of air that was the blame for that. It seemed to be a mixture of both because he still felt lightheaded after he had oxygen into his strained lungs. 

 ****His stomach is filled with butterflies, and the blood in his veins rush to his finger tips, causing him to grip the seat tighter. Their lips connect several times, but Thomas finally pulls away, and neither one of them opens their eyes immediately. Newt's eyes flutter open when a few moments of silence pass, and Thomas is looking directly at him with his golden brown eyes. His thumb is still softly caressing Newt's cheek, and Newt and Thomas are still only an inch apart. Thomas clenches his jaw.

"I've wanted to do that all night," Thomas murmurs. Newt wants to kiss him again, but he doesn't. 

Thomas gives Newt a soft toothless smile, but Newt doesn't respond because of how in shock he is. He's also a bit confused, but he isn't complaining. 

"I'll see you on Monday?" Thomas asks and Newt nods, speechless. 

After what seems like forever, Newt looks away and barely whispers goodbye to Thomas, getting out of his car and almost falling because of how weak his knees were. He's glad Thomas hadn't kissed him while he was standing up because he's sure he would have fallen over and that would be embarrassing. Before he opens his front door, he takes one last look at Thomas and gives him the best smile he can, which probably makes him look stupid, but Thomas smiles back and that's all that matters. 

He walks up his stairs and hears Thomas drive off as he does. And he enters his room, falling onto his back and staring up at the ceiling. He brings his fingers to touch his lips and he smiles to himself, thinking back to the kiss. He knew he would stay up all night thinking about it, and Newt loved that. He loved losing sleep over Thomas - and he knew he would be dreaming about him if he was asleep anyways. But it was nice knowing that he didn't have to dream about it. It was reality now.


	10. Chapter 10

When Newt wakes up on Monday morning, the first thing he thinks about is Thomas. He still can't get the kiss out of his mind, and he had a feeling he would be thinking about it for months on end. He doesn't think it could have gotten any better, and he finds himself smiling at the thought of Thomas and his sweet sweet lips once again.

That was how the majority of his weekend had been spent - daydreaming about Thomas and wondering what would happen on Monday at school. Knowing the time had come made Newt extremely nervous, and a small part of him considered staying in bed so he wouldn't suffer from anxiety all day.

But that didn't last for long, as Newt jumps out of bed when the smell of pancakes hit his nose. Newt's mom usually made breakfast on Sunday mornings because it was the only day of the week where they could enjoy breakfast as a family without having to race out of the door. So when the smell of breakfast hit Newt, he made sure to run as fast as possible so he wouldn't miss a bite.

He sprints down the stairs, nearly falling down the stairs on the way down. His mom chuckles at him and he plops down in his seat as she starts placing pancakes on his plate.

“Good morning,” she smiles, kissing him on top of his head.

He dreads waiting for his mom to hand him a fork and some syrup, but as soon as she places them on his table, Newt starts digging in. His dad walks into the kitchen already dressed, and he squeezes Newt's shoulder in an attempt to say hello.

“Morning,” Newt says with his mouth full.

“Newton, what did I say about speaking with your mouth full?” she scolds, taking a seat at the table.

“Sorry,” Newt apologizes, but his mouth is still full, and his mom shakes her head at him before pecking his dad on the lips.

“So I heard you went on a date on Friday night,” Newt's dad says as he starts cutting his pancakes. "Who is she?"

Newt's chewing slows to a stop and he feels his stomach drop just thinking about it - thinking about Thomas. And Newt's mom looks at Newt as if asking him if he wanted her to tell his dad about Thomas. Newt nods lightly.

“It was a he, honey,” Newt's mom says softly.

His dad looks confused. “A he? As in a boy?”

He looks over to Newt and Newt looks down at his pancakes, taking another huge bite so he wouldn't have to talk. His dad doesn't sound disappointed, but he also doesn't sound proud, and Newt isn't sure of what he's supposed to say.

“Newton?” his dad says and Newt nods.

“Well, are you going to tell us about it? How was it?”

Newt looks up at him and his dad is looking back at him patiently. He actually seems interested and Newt suddenly feels relieved. He is now realizing that the time he had spent stressing over whether or not he should tell his parents about his sexuality was all for nothing. He knew his mom would be okay with it, but a small part of him feared his dad wouldn't approve. 

“It was good,” Newt says with a small smile. “Really good, actually.”

“How is he?”

Was his dad actually giving him permission to ramble about Thomas? Newt would definitely take advantage of that opportunity. The only person he ever got to ramble about Thomas to was himself. 

“He's really nice. And charming. And funny. And he's so handsome. God, he's just-”

“A fittie,” his mom interrupts. “He's a fittie.”

“Mum, would you quit saying that?”

“A fittie huh?” his dad asks his mom as if Newt wasn't even there. “How's his bum?”

“Oh my god I hate this,” Newt mumbles to himself, closing his eyes and using his fingers to rub his temples. “I swear I cannot deal with this family. I cannot.”

“You have to bring him over for dinner, Newton!” Newt's mom says in excitement, intertwining her fingers with a wide smile on her face.

“Yes!” his dad agrees, and suddenly his parents are making plans without Newt's blessing.

“I'm leaving,” Newt says, standing up to leave the table. His pancakes would not be worth it if his parents ruined it.

“Tell Thomas to come over for dinner on Friday night or I'm embarrassing you in front of everyone at your school!” his mom yells as he reaches the stairs.

“Is that a threat?” Newt screams back, peeking his head over the railing of the stairs.

“Yes sweetheart!” she screams for the last time and Newt rolls his eyes. He walks down the hallway and into the bathroom, taking a quick shower and making sure to brush his teeth so his mom wouldn't have to tell him on his way out of the door.

He spends quite some time in front of the mirror, running his fingers through his hair to make sure it fell into place perfectly. When he hears the bus outside, he grabs his bag and runs downstairs again, yelling goodbye to his parents before he leaves.

The doors open and he steps on, finding his usual seat next to Winston near the back. 

"Hey," Winston says with a smile. 

"Hey."

"How was your weekend?"

Newt has a million things running through his head after Winston asks, including Thomas, but he can't seem to say anything in response. Instead, he smiles at Winston and says: "It was okay."

They talk about hardly anything as they ride to school, and when the bus stops, they both stand and walk off with the rest of the kids. They still have a few minutes before first period starts, so they decided to go their lockers to ease the weight of the bags on their shoulders. Newt is leaning against the locker beside Winston's with his arms crossed over his chest when he sees Teresa and Aris walking together. Aris has his hand in Teresa's back pocket and Teresa has her arm wrapped around Aris' waist.

Winston glances at them as he places another book in his locker and hums despicably.

"Well," he utters. "She moved on pretty quickly."

Newt looks at Winston as a sudden thought crosses his mind and makes him feel sick. What if Thomas still had feelings for Teresa and he was just using him to move on? He knows Thomas broke up with Teresa and not the other way around but there was a small voice in his head telling him he should think twice about everything that has happened. 

Teresa seemed barely affected by their break up, and she looks even happier now that she's with Aris. The reason they broke up was because of Aris, and Newt is starting to wonder whether or not Thomas still thinks about Teresa and whatever it was that they had. Sure he claims that he didn't love her, but what if that wasn't the truth? What if he didn't even like Newt to begin with?

Newt swallows the lump in his throat and stands up straight, blinking a few times to get rid of the heavy feeling in his eyes. He doesn't say anything to Winston's comment because he can't think of anything to say. It wasn't like Winston knew what happened between Newt and Thomas, and Newt wasn't willing to tell him either. Newt refuses to tell him because he's quite sure he wouldn't react well, and he feels as if he doesn't need to know either.  

"Is he that rich kid Jeff was telling me about? You know, the rich kid who drives the Lexus LFA?"

"Why does everyone care so much about the car he drives? Does it really matter?" Newt replies as Winston shuts his locker.

"Dude - that car costs a fortune. He's practically rolling in dough."

"So what?"

"Look, it's not like you see a 17-year-old driving a quarter of a million dollar car every day. Especially not in this town. It's something to talk about. And that thing is a beauty. Have you seen it?"

"Oh bloody hell," Newt complains, rolling his eyes as he and Winston start walking to their classes. 

"No wonder he got Teresa.," Winston adds. "That girls' got standards like you wouldn't believe."

"Do you think that's why Teresa likes him? Because he's rich?"

Newt had personally come to that conclusion before Teresa and Thomas broke up, and he still holds onto that as he stands before Winston. From what Thomas has told him, Teresa seems like the type to 'love' you for what you offer her rather than who you are. 

Winston shrugs. "Maybe."

 ****The bell rings and Winston waves at Newt as they part ways. Newt sighs and walks to Social Studies, sitting in the back of the classroom falling into deep thought as Mr. Cooper starts teaching monotonously.

 

 

 

About halfway through Social Studies, Newt's phone buzzes in his back pocket, and he takes it out, looking at it under the desk and seeing Thomas' name on his screen. He hates how just seeing his name still makes him shiver, even though he was still a bit upset at the thought of him using him to get over Teresa. 

Newt opens the message anyway, and his stomach fills with butterflies from nerves. 

**come to the auditorium**

Newt stares at the message for a while before he actually stand up and asks to go to the bathroom. Mr. Cooper tells him to grab a pass without turning around or looking away from the board, and Newt takes it and puts it in his pocket, walking out of the classroom and to the auditorium. He ponders why Thomas would ask him to go there of all places as he walks, but he starts to freak himself out even more, so he settles on breathing instead of thinking too hard. 

When he opens one of the double doors to the auditorium, he sees Thomas sitting on the edge of the stage with his hands crossed on his lap. He closes the door softly so it wouldn't make too much noise and walks over to Thomas, wiping his sweaty hands on his jeans. Thomas looks up at him and smiles, standing up and motioning for Newt to join him on the stage. He does, and he walks up the stairs on the side of the stage slowly to make sure he doesn't fall over. 

Thomas takes his hand and laces their fingers together, and Newt thinks their fingers fit perfectly together. Thomas starts walking to the wing of the stage, and Newt follows in silence.

The wing is dimly lit, but the lights over the stage contribute to the light, and Newt can still see Thomas' bright eyes in the dark. He still has Newt's hand in his, and he's using his thumb to rub the back of his hand soothingly. 

"I couldn't wait to see you," Thomas says with a smile, and Newt's heart starts pumping faster, but he doesn't smile back at Thomas. He looks away from him and Thomas lifts his hand and places it on Newt's cheek delicately. Newt's eyes remain on the floor and Thomas is suddenly confused. 

"What's wrong?"

Newt shakes his head.

"Don't lie to me," Thomas says. "Come on, Newt. Tell me."

Newt doesn't lift his eyes because he knows if he does, he would melt and give in to Thomas in an instant. "Do you like me? Like really like me?" he whispers.

"Yeah. What makes you think I don't?"

Newt sighs. "I just thought you still had feelings for Teresa and-"

"Newt, look at me."

He looks up and Thomas is frowning at him. "I like you. And I don't want you thinking about her. She doesn't matter anymore, and she shouldn't matter to you either."

Newt doesn't look away from him. 

"Let me tell you something," Thomas went on. "I stay up all night thinking about you, Newt. I don't know what it is, but I can't stop, and I don't want to stop either."

He looks at Newt and sighs before continuing. "There'sjust something about you - and it drives me crazy. I can't explain how you make me feel without confusing the both of us. But to keep it simple; I like you. I really really like you, and I don't want you thinking otherwise, do you understand me?"

Newt nods and Thomas gives him a small smile. His heart feels like putty and it gets worse as he continues to look into Thomas' eyes. 

Thomas takes Newt's hands in his and puts them on his shoulders so Newt could wrap his arms around Thomas' neck, and he does. Then Thomas places his hands on Newt's hips and leans in close to him, brushing their noses together. 

"Tommy," Newt breathes. 

"Yeah?"

"Kiss me," he whispers and Thomas does.

He closes the distance between them and sighs against Newt's lips in content. Newt knees are weak, so he holds onto Thomas tighter when he feels like he's about to fall, and Thomas' grip on his hips tighten, causing Newt to whimper. The wood is creaking beneath them as Thomas takes a few steps toward Newt until he hits the wall. Thomas parts his lips and steps even closer to Newt, leaving barely any space between them. 

His hands are running up and down Newt's sides, and Newt shivers. He doesn't think he would ever get used to kissing Thomas, because of how great it is, and he wants to stay under Thomas' grasp for as long as possible. 

“Wait,” Newt whispers, pulling away but remaining close so their lips were still touching. “Are we, you know, together?” 

"Do you want us to be?" Thomas asks, brushing their lips together. Newt nods and closes his eyes.

"Then we are," he smiles, and just as he's about to close the distance between them again, Newt and Thomas hear the doors of the auditorium close. Newt's eyes fly open and Thomas almost laughs, biting his swollen lip. Newt leans his head against Thomas' shoulder and smiles, even though he was frightened by the thought of getting caught. The thrill was exhilarating, and Newt was covered in goosebumps as he and Thomas waited for whoever was in the auditorium to leave. 

They listened to the voices in silence, and when they finally disappeared followed by the sound of the doors opening and closing, Newt let out a huge breath of relief and Thomas chuckled. They both peeked their heads out of the stage wing and scanned the auditorium to see it was empty. Then they walked to the middle of the stage and Newt turned to Thomas. 

"Am I seeing you later?" Newt asks, and pouts after Thomas shakes his head. 

"I have practice today. But I want to take you out some day this week. Maybe Friday night."

"Speaking of Friday night," Newt says, mentally rolling his eyes at the thought of his parents. "My parents want you to come over for dinner."

Thomas laughs. "Seriously? We started dating 5 minutes ago."

Newt laughs as well. "I think my mum is infatuated with you. She keeps asking about the 'fit boy who drops me home', and now she wants you to come over for dinner."

"Sounds like fun," Thomas smiles. 

"More like embarrassing."

They walk off the stage and start walking towards the doors. "So I'll see you tomorrow? And Friday night?"

Newt nods and smiles, and Thomas pecks his lips before they part ways. Newt turns left and Thomas turns right, and after they split, Newt glances back at Thomas to see him smiling at him. 

He barely feels like he's walking, but rather floating on a cloud as realization hits him. He was dating Thomas. He spends almost the entire day smiling to himself because of that, and when Winston asks why, he says nothing. 


	11. Chapter 11

Even after having a surplus of seconds, minutes, and hours to think it over, Newt still can't believe Thomas is finally his. It's absolutely surreal knowing he didn't have to spend the entire day wondering what could've been with Thomas, and instead he can spend his time reminiscing about what has happened and daydreaming about what will happen when he sees him next. 

It makes him smile like a fool and his cheeks burn red just thinking about Thomas, and all he wants to do is wrap his arms around him so he would never have to let go. He feels like he took a wide step into the deep end just by being with Thomas because of who he was and what everyone knew him as, but Newt didn't mind. 

It was what he had always wanted, so what kind of teenage boy would he be if he didn't snatch up the opportunity when it presented itself?

Dating Thomas was like standing on cloud nine for an incessant amount of time to Newt. He never had a reason to frown whenever Thomas was around or whenever he spoke to him, and Thomas was Newt's daily dose of euphoria. He was the reason he had a smile on his face at 6 o'clock on a Wednesday morning. That was _rare_ for Newt.

They never spoke much during school, since they only had two classes together, but even as they passed each other in the hallways it was as if they weren't even dating. Sometimes Thomas would smile at Newt and sometimes Newt would smile back, but it was never more than that. Whenever people were around, they were practically invisible to each other.

Sometimes Thomas would text him during class, and Newt would sneak his phone under his desk to text back with that pathetic smile plastered across his face. Other times, Thomas would send him a cute text during lunch whenever Newt seemed bored, and when Newt looked up at him, Thomas would be giving him that stupid smile Newt adored so much. It made his insides twist and his heart swell, and he never wanted to look away.

Even though they hardly spoke during school, it was like they had spent their entire lives in each others' presence whenever they were together. Newt felt insanely comfortable around Thomas, and that was the reason he always wanted to stay by his side. 

Newt spent the entire day anticipating the end just so he could see Thomas, and as soon as the bell rang, Newt's stomach filled with butterflies and he raced out of the classroom. He could only handle being patient for so long, and the thought of being able to see Thomas, to touch Thomas again, made him restive and anxious. 

He sees Winston walking down the hallway with the straps of his bag in his hands as he exits the room, and his speed walking slows to a stroll when he and Winston make eye contact.

"Hey man," Winston smiles as Newt stops in front of him. "I bought a copy of that movie we were talking about the other night. You wanna' come over to watch it?"

"I can't," Newt says, frowning as Winston's smile slowly fades. 

"Let me guess," Winston deadpans, "you're tutoring again?"

Newt nods. "I'll make it up to you, I promise."

Winston doesn't look like he believes him, but he still nods his head and gives Newt a disappointed smile. Newt pats Winston on his shoulder and smiles at him one last time before telling him he would see him tomorrow. And Winston sighs as Newt walks away, but Newt doesn't hear it because his mind is elsewhere. 

His anxiety builds up as he gets closer to the library and when he finally reaches it, seeing Thomas in their usual seat, he feels an overwhelming sense of content. Thomas looks up at him and smiles, standing up and pulling Newt into a tight hug and pecking his lips after they pull away and after making sure no one else was around. They were literally the only two in the library, and Newt was hoping it would stay that way. 

"How was your-" Thomas tries to say, but Newt interrupts.  

"No small talk. We're here to study, remember?" Newt says, resting his bag in one of the seats and pulling out his book. "Plus, I have work to do as well, so we need to focus today."

Thomas groans. "Come on, Newt. I haven't seen you all day and you're making me do work?"

"Like I said, I have my own work to do as well. We might as well do something productive in our time."

"And talking isn't productive? All I want is to know how your day is going," Thomas says, taking Newt's hands in his and holding them. Newt can't help but smile as he looks into Thomas' eyes, and he knows he shouldn't stare into them for too long because of how distracted he always got, but he can't help it. 

"It's going fine, Tommy. Thanks for asking. Hows' yours?"

Thomas smiles. "Great now."

Newt's smile widens at that. But he doesn't let their eyes linger for long because he can feel his cheeks heating up. He softly pulls his hands away from Thomas' grasp, even though he doesn't want to. 

"Do your work, Thomas," he orders with the smile still on his face, and Thomas rolls his eyes playfully, taking a seat. Newt stays where he is to make sure Thomas actually pulls out his notebook to do his work before he walks to the isles of books to find a History textbook. He could have just gone to Mr. Cooper's classroom and asked him for one, but he probably would've died of boredom the second he stepped foot into his classroom. 

He isn't even sure what book he's looking for exactly, but all he knows is that he needs a book that'll help him write a five hundred word essay on women's rights during the early 20th century. It's not all that fun learning about American history when he spent half of his life learning European history, but he sucks it up anyway and aces all of his tests just so he can make it into a good college. 

After a while, he settles on choosing a random textbook that was practically twenty pounds heavy and lugs it back to their table, taking a seat and flipping to the index so he could figure out which pages he needed to use. When he glances up at Thomas, he sees him staring blankly at the paper that sat in front of him with his cheek resting on his palm and his elbow on the table.

"Everything alright?" he asks, and Thomas looks up at him. 

"I'm confused. I did everything right, but my answer isn't there," Thomas explains and Newt sighs at him. 

"If your answer isn't there, that means you didn't do everything right, Thomas," Newt replies, looking down at his paper and scanning it for his mistake. It's a very silly mistake, but Newt can't blame Thomas because math wasn't for everyone after all. He takes Thomas' pencil from him and makes a small change. 

"That 4 is supposed to be positive."

Thomas stares at the paper like a lost puppy for a few seconds before something clicks in his head and his face is covered in realization. Newt smiles at him. 

"What would I do without you?" Thomas says as he continues his homework, and even though his words barely have any significance to them, Newt still finds his heart pumping faster within his chest. 

He knew he wouldn't get any work done if Thomas was so close in proximity, but he tried as hard as he could to concentrate. Even if Thomas wasn't saying anything to him, just being around him made it difficult for Newt to focus. It was almost always that way, but for some reason, it seemed to get wose as the days went by.

Newt tried, he _really_ tried to write that essay, but all he wants to do is talk about nonsense with Thomas like they usually did. A five-minute break wouldn't hurt anybody, would it?

"Tommy I can't-"

"Focus?" they say at the same time. "Yeah, me either." 

"Can we take a break?" Newt asks, putting his pen down. 

"How about we just stop completely? I mean I can do this at home," Thomas says, already starting to put his book away. "Besides, I don't want to waste my Newt time on math homework."

"Newt time?" Newt laughs, standing up so he could put the book back. He isn't necessarily surprised when he sees Thomas standing up as well, walking with him towards the bookshelves. 

"Newt time," Thomas repeats. "You know, the time I get to spend with my adorable boyfriend," Thomas purrs, wrapping his arms around Newt's waist from behind him as Newt tries to put the textbook back on the shelf. He almost drops it on his feet when Thomas places a soft kiss on the back of his neck, as a shiver runs up his spine and causes his hand to shake. Thomas chuckles and Newt knows it's because of the burning sensation on his cheeks and his neck. 

Newt giggles as Thomas places a few short and quick kisses on his red stained cheek, and he tries to move away from his grasp, but Thomas only holds him tighter. 

 ****"Stop it!"

"Make me, rosy," Thomas teases, smiling as Newt continues to struggle in his grip.

"Fine. No kisses for Tommy for the rest of the day," Newt threatens and Thomas gasps. 

"You wouldn't!"

"I would," Newt smirks, turning to look at Thomas and Thomas is smiling back at him with a fake glare on his face. They're staring at each other, testing each others patience before Thomas tries to lean in and steal a kiss from Newt. But Newt moves away from him, and Thomas keeps trying but Newt just would not give up.

So Thomas pulls Newt close to him so he couldn't pull away and tilts his chin up. Newt knows he would not be able to resist Thomas with the way he was looking at him with those golden brown eyes of his, and when he starts leaning in, Newt's eyes flutter shut as he waits for Thomas to connect their lips. He does, and the kiss is as light as a feather. 

"I win," Thomas whispers, and Newt's lips spread into a toothy smile that reaches his eyes. 

He adores Thomas with a passion, and he feels like a much happier person every time a second passes whenever they're together. Thomas was, without a doubt, the reason Newt always had a smile on his face, and Newt was grateful for the fact that he could call him his. 

Newt hated saying goodbye to him after they spent time together, but he knew they would probably stay up all night talking on the phone to make up for them not being together. It didn't matter how much time they had spent together because Newt always felt as if it was never enough. He could literally talk to Thomas for hours but still feel like there's so much more to say, and that was why they always found it difficult to hang up. 

It got to the point where they just stopped saying goodbye to each other, and they would stay on the phone until the other went to sleep. That was exactly what happened when Thomas called that night, and Newt had finally fallen asleep after the clock had hit 2. 

When Newt woke up the next morning, he realized they still hadn't disconnected their call, and he could hear Thomas' faint snoring on the other line. Once again, Thomas was responsible for the smile that wound up on Newt's face first thing in the morning, and that smile would remain for as long as the thought of Thomas resided in Newt's mind.


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Christmas is rather uneventful this year, but I hope you guys enjoy it. Happy Holidays!
> 
> X

Newt loved whenever Thomas intertwined their fingers. It felt like they were made to be locked and laced together, and Newt got this strange feeling in his heart whenever they held hands. He didn't know what the feeling was, but he was comforted by it, and he knew he large part of him enjoyed the feeling. 

As they walked through the park with their hands laced together on Friday afternoon, Thomas swung their hands back and forth freely, looking around at the trees that had already begun to change color. They were a mixture of yellow and orange, and the sunlight peered through each leaf, illuminating the path as they walked. Newt would stop walking every so often to pick a few of the flowers that were left, and by the time they stopped to sit in the grass, he had a hand full of flowers. 

Thomas sits in the grass with his legs stretched out in front of him and his hands resting behind him, and Newt sits beside him with his legs crossed. 

"My entire body hurts from practice," Thomas says, sighing. And Newt leans over to place a few kisses on Thomas' shoulder and along the length of his arm. Thomas laughs at him. 

"All better now," he jokes, and Newt smiles at him. "Come'ere."

Thomas pats his lap, and Newt crawls over to him to sit in between his legs. They're facing each other, and Thomas crosses his legs behind Newt's bottom so Newt's legs are loosely wrapped around his waist. He places his hands on Newt's hips and smiles at him, squinting his eyes because of how bright the sun was. 

"So," Newt says, taking one of the flowers and delicately placing it in Thomas' hair. "How's that whole Brenda and Minho thing working out?"

Thomas chuckles. "He's still trying. But he asked her to come with him to homecoming and she said she'd think about it. I'm one hundred percent sure that means yes."

Newt smiles softly and continues to put flowers into his hair while Thomas smiles at him. He can't help but ponder homecoming as soon as Thomas mentions it. It wasn't like he was planning on going - in fact, he was probably going to watch a movie with Winston like they usually did on homecoming night. But the thought of going with Thomas seemed rather appealing. 

He wanted to be able to spend the night slow dancing with Thomas in a tuxedo, and he wanted to be able to hold his hand without Thomas having to look around to make sure no one was near. Newt just didn't want to feel like a secret for one night. Was that too much to ask for?

Every time he thinks about his and Thomas' relationship, Newt can't help but think about what Thomas had said about Teresa. He said she was only around when everyone else was, and to Newt, Thomas is the complete opposite - he was only around when no one else was around. So maybe it wasn't a bad thing, but can Newt be blamed for feeling like Thomas is trying to hide him? 

Thomas never hesitated to kiss Teresa in front of everyone, but he always hesitated to even speak to Newt when they were at school and it seemed unfair. 

Newt is mad at himself for being so jealous, and he hates how much just thinking about Thomas hiding him makes his heart hurt. He feels pathetic.

But he pushes that thought away and forces a wider smile on his face. He tries to convince himself that homecoming isn't even that important, but he knows that it's not the reason why he was so questioning. It was something bigger than that.

"Are you going to homecoming?" Newt asks and Thomas nods. Newt scolds him because some of the flowers had fallen out of his hair as a result. He puts them back in carefully. 

"Are you?"

Newt shrugs. "I never do. Winston and I usually hang out together instead."

"Winston?" Thomas says, raising an eyebrow. "Who's Winston?"

"A good friend of mine."

Thomas nods again, but softly this time, so the flowers don't fall. And Newt shouldn't be bothered by the fact that Thomas didn't ask him to go with him, but he is. He hopes that his disappointment isn't written all over his face, but he knows it is with the way Thomas is looking at him.

"Hey," Thomas breathes, pulling Newt closer to him. "What's going on?"

Newt shakes his head and smiles. "Nothing."

And Newt really cannot stay upset with Thomas because of how adorable he looks. He wraps his arms around Thomas' neck and places a kiss on the tip of his nose. Thomas smiles back at him. 

"I can't wait to meet your parents tonight."

Newt, on the other hand, isn't so ecstatic. He's positive his parents are going to embarrass him to the point where he wants to run and hide for an eternity, and his mom only proves him right when she practically screams when she sees Thomas. 

Then she's hugging him, and Thomas is laughing as he hugs her back, but Newt is not amused. 

"Mom stop it. You're going to crush him."

"He's just so handsome!" she squeals, pulling away to touch his face. She has the widest smile on her face as she looks at him, and she's looking at him as if he's some trophy she's proud of. Why? Newt has no idea. 

She even starts squeezing his biceps, and she gasps as she does. "Strong too? You've got the package deal, Newton!"

Newt glares at his mom and Thomas can't stop laughing. His dad enters the room after he hears all of the noise, and he smiles at Thomas in the same way his mom had. 

"He is a fittie," he says, elbowing Newt's mom in her side and Newt groans. Newt's dad offers his hands and Thomas shakes it, introducing himself respectfully.

"Are you guys done?" Newt says, and his mom chuckles at him.

"Yes we're done, Mr. Sass. Why don't you show Thomas around? Dinner won't be ready for another half hour or so."

"Good idea," Newt replies, grabbing Thomas' hand so he could drag him away, but Thomas insists on staying so he could continue talking to his mother. 

"Do you any need help?" he offers, and Newt's mom waves him off. 

"Don't be silly. I'll call you guys down when dinner is ready."

Newt takes that as an opportunity to pull Thomas away from his parents, and this time, he actually follows without resistance. 

"All doors open!" Newt's dad yells before they could get too far, and his mom scoffs at this. 

"Oh please. It's not like he can get pregnant."

Of course Newt feels his entire face burn at that, and Thomas' laughter from behind him is only making it worse. He made it his mission to get away from his parents so he dragged Thomas up the stairs and into his room, closing the door behind them and sighing.

"Your parents are," Thomas chuckled, pausing to think of a word that would fit. Newt could think of a thousand words, but he said none of them. "Interesting," he settles, and Newt snorts, walking over to his bed and letting himself fall back onto it. 

"Embarrassing," Newt corrects. "Sorry about my mum. She can be a little weird sometimes."

"She seems nice."

Thomas is walking around Newt's room, looking at the posters that are covering his walls in interest. A lot of the posters are from video games, but a few of them were from comic books as well. Newt thinks he should have redecorated before Thomas came over, but when Thomas tells him he like it, he calms down a bit. 

After he finishes looking at his poster-covered walls, he looks over to Newt's night stand and the rack of cd's that rested on top of it. He picks up one of the cd's and flips it over to look at the track listing on the back. 

Newt glances over to Thomas to see which cd he was inspecting and he smiles when he realizes it was the Bon Iver cd that held his favorite song. Thomas turns to Newt and the corner of his lips twitch when he sees Newt already smiling at him. "Can I put this on?"

Newt nods. So Thomas walks over to his cd player and puts the cd in, pressing play and causing the entire room to fill with the sound of soft guitar strumming. The bed dips when Thomas gets on it and lays beside Newt after he takes off his shoes. And Newt crawls over to him and puts an arm around his middle, resting his head on his chest so he could hear his heart beat.  

His heart is beating to the rhythm of the music and it is rather comforting and soothing to listen to. Thomas is using his fingers to draw soft circles on the small of Newt's back where his shirt did not cover, and the touch is so tender, so amorous, that it makes Newt gasp quietly.

They listen to the music in silence, and when Newt's favorite song comes on, he hums in appreciation. 

"You know," Thomas says, and Newt feels the vibration of his voice against his cheek. "Every time I hear this song, I can't stop thinking about you."

Newt smiles. "I guess it's our song then."

"I guess so."

 

 

 

Newt and Thomas are practically asleep by the time Newt's mom comes into his room to tell them dinner was ready, and their legs were tangled together while their arms were wrapped around each other. She smiles warmly at them as she watches them sleep with the album still playing, and she doesn't want to wake them up because of how cute they look, but she does anyway. 

She shakes the both of them softly and Thomas wakes up first, rubbing his eyes and blinking them a few times before he looks down at Newt. Thomas twinkles at him and when he kisses him on his forehead, Newt stirs in his sleep but doesn't wake. 

"He's quite stubborn when it comes to waking up," his mom explains, and Thomas smiles. 

She shakes him again, slightly harder this time, and Newt's eyes flutter open.

"Dinner's ready, sweetheart."

"Took you long enough," Newt jokes, still half asleep. 

They get up and follow Newt's mom down the stairs and into the kitchen to sit at the dining table. Thomas sits beside Newt and Newt's parents sit across from them after the plates are placed on the table. 

"I hope you like lasagna. It's Newt's favorite."

Usually Newt scarfed down his food quicker than you could snap your fingers, but because Thomas was sitting beside him, he took his time and chewed his food slowly. His mom took note of this and chuckled breathily before taking a bite of her own food. 

"I hear you're into football," Newt's dad says, and Thomas nods. 

"I am, sir."

"You can call me John," he says with a smile. "Are you planning on majoring in sports for university?" 

"Yes, sir - John. My dad is working towards getting me a full ride to Ohio State University."

"Very nice. Are you minoring in anything as well?"

"I was actually planning on double majoring. Sports and Art."

Newt is in the middle of a bite when Thomas says that, and he smiles around his fork when he does. 

"Really?" his dad says, and his voice is dosed in fascination. 

Thomas nods. "Newt was actually the one who convinced me to not too long ago. I told him I liked to paint and he suggested I double major in college if I love it so much."

"I agree. You should," Newt's mom says with a nod.

"My dad wouldn't be too happy about that, though. He's pretty serious about football and he doesn't want me to get distracted by anything. Even if it's something I'm passionate about."

"Well it is your life after all, and you're living it, not your father. If you want to do something that makes you happy, you go on and do it," Newt's mom says, and Thomas thinks she is exactly where Newt got all of his wisdom from. 

"And even if your dad is disappointed, he will be happy when he realizes how happy you are when you're doing what you love," says his dad. 

"I'm starting to think this family lives off of inspirational quotes," Thomas jests, and Newt's parents laugh. 

Newt feels happy as he sits at the dinner table with both his parents and Thomas because of how well they were getting along. Maybe Thomas was a natural at communication because talking to him was always so easy no matter who you were. 

"By the way, this lasagna is amazing Mrs. Clifton."

"Thank you, Thomas."

"Now you see why it's my favorite," Newt says and Thomas smiles at him. 

"I made dessert as well if you still have room," Newt's mom says after she wipes her mouth with a napkin. "Oh, who am I kidding, you're a football player! The more meat on your bones, the better!"

She stands as Thomas chuckles and Newt leans back in his chair, rubbing his stomach because of how full he was. 

"Laura you were wrong!" his dad calls after his mom. "Newton's pregnant!"

Thomas bursts into laughter and Newt hears his mom laugh from the other room. Once again, Newt is not amused. 

"Ha ha. Very funny."

Newt's mom enters the room with an apple pie and Thomas practically moans when he sees it. Newt pretends like he doesn't twitch in his jeans when Thomas makes that sound. 

She places the pie on the table along with a few plates and cuts a piece for Thomas first because he was a guest after all. Then she hands Thomas a fork for dessert before she cuts another piece for Newt and his dad as well. Thomas moans again when he tastes it, and he closes his eyes in an attempt to savor the tang on his taste buds. 

"This is so good," Thomas hums and Newt's mom smiles.

"You can take some home if you want. I'm sure your dad would love some." 

Thomas nods as he continues to stuff his face and Newt isn't holding back this time either. He's guzzling his mom's pie down so quickly he can barely breathe. His mom's pie was his guilty pleasure.  

They finish dessert rather quickly without much conversation because everyone was distracted by how delicious the pie was. Everyone is exhausted by the time they finish dinner, and Newt wants to fall asleep with how full he is.  

"Do you need help with the dishes?" Thomas offers again, but Newt's mom declines. 

"That's alright, Tom. You're a guest."

"It's the least I can do," he replies as he stands up, picking up some of the dishes on the table. Newt can tell his mom loves him by the way she's looking at him. 

Newt helps with the dishes as well while Newt's mom starts packing away the leftovers. While they are washing the dishes, Thomas turns the sprayer to Newt and splashes water on him. Newt hits Thomas in his shoulder playfully, grinning at him before he continues to clean the plates.  

They put the dishes away after the finish washing them, and they finish cleaning up the kitchen and the dining table before Thomas gets ready to leave. 

"Thank you so much for coming, Thomas," Newt's mom says as they stand at the door, hugging him. You're welcome to come back whenever you want."

"Thanks for having me. I had a really good time."

She kisses his cheek before they pull away and Thomas hugs Newt's dad as well before he steps outside with Newt. Newt is hugging his arms because of the evening breeze, and his body shivers involuntarily as they stand outside. 

"Your parents are hilarious. I really like them."

Newt smiles. "Yeah, they're great."

Thomas shoves his hands into his front pockets and takes a step towards Newt to peck him on the lips. "See you later, babe."

 _Babe_. Newt likes that nickname. 

"Get home safe," he says, waving at Thomas as he walks over to his car and gets into the driver's seat. Newt walks back into his house as Thomas drives off and sees his mom smiling at him. 

"I want you to keep him around for as long as you can, Newton," she says. "I mean it when I say he's a keeper."

That is the last thing his mom says to him before she walks away, and Newt walks up the stairs and to his room. His covers smell just like Thomas, and he hugs them close to his chest as he falls asleep.


	13. Chapter 13

As Newt sits on the bench in the locker room, he can't help but feel uncomfortable with the way Gally was looking at him. It was always that way - Gally would glare at Newt for a reason he was unaware of, and Newt would try to convince himself that he wasn't so he could calm himself down, but it never worked. His cutting green eyes were too harsh for Newt to ignore, and he was the reason he hated gym so much. 

He considered skipping gym on various occasions, but he figured seeing Thomas would make up for everything he hated about gym, which was everything excluding Thomas. He hated exercising, he hated being bossed around by Coach Sanders, and worst of all, he hated Gally. 

He wanted to know why Gally hated him so much, but the answer never presented itself, and Newt was always left dumbstruck because he doesn't think he ever gave Gally a reason to hate him. So why does he?

The rest of the boys flooded into the locker room after the second bell rang, and Gally kept his eyes on Newt, even as he lifted his shirt to pull it over his head. Newt looked away when he did, but he could still feel Gally's eyes on him. He hoped he would just leave him alone for once, but his hostility was inevitable, and Newt braced himself for what was about to come. There was nothing he could do to stop him, and even if there was, Newt was too scared to do it. 

"You like what you see?" Gally teases mockingly, taking slow but sure steps towards Newt. Newt doesn't say anything, but when Gally stops in front of him and leans so close their noses are almost touching, Newt makes a low sound of disapproval and tries to turn away from him. Gally only moves closer, and his lips almost brush against Newt's cheek. 

"Of course you do you fucking faggot," Gally says into Newt's ear and Newt winces. He closes his eyes with hopes he would magically will Gally away, but he's still in his space, and Newt feels more uncomfortable than he has ever felt in his entire life.

"Bet you want to get down on your knees for everybody in here, don't you?"

Once again, Newt doesn't respond, and Gally only raises his voice. "Don't you?"

"What the fuck are you doing?" a voice scolds, and suddenly Gally is not in Newt's space anymore. Newt opens his eyes carefully and sees Thomas standing in front of Gally. He has his hands on his shoulders and he's trying to push Gally away from Newt, but Gally shrugs his hands off of him. 

It was then that Newt realized it was the first time Thomas had ever tried to defend him. And Newt isn't the only one to notice, as Gally makes a comment about it as soon as he does.

"Since when do you care Thomas?" Gally hisses. "Huh?"

Gally shoves Thomas and Thomas shoves him back harder."What is your problem man?"

"You think I don't know what's going on?" 

Gally is practically screaming in Thomas' face and Thomas is glaring at him. He looks as if he wants to swing at Gally, but he keeps his fists balled to his side in an attempt to maintain his posture.

"What the fuck are you talking about?" Thomas mutters and Gally scoffs. 

"You know exactly what I'm talking about."

There's something in Gally's voice that sounds threatening, and Newt is scared as to why that is. He himself is not sure what Gally is going on about, but a small part of him is saying that he doesn't want to know. That he doesn't need to know. 

They glare at each other for a few moments and the entire locker room is silent. No one is saying anything, and the air around them is so tense that Newt could cut it with a knife. He wants to cut it to make it go away but, of course, that was impossible. And he sat defenseless on the bench as he watched Thomas and Gally share a harsh glance. 

"There something you want to tell us, Thomas?" Gally taunts. 

"I don't know what you're talking about."

"Really?" says Gally sarcastically. "Nothing at all?"

Thomas says nothing and instead clenches his jaw as Gally looks at him expectantly. 

"Nothing about how much of a faggot you are?"

His words are harsh, and Newt can feel their cruelty from where he sits. He's confused as to why Gally would say that, but then Gally looks over to him briefly before looking back at Thomas, and Newt suddenly senses where Gally's anger was coming from. Newt denies the idea of Gally knowing about him and Thomas over and over as he repeats Gally's words in his head because it was impossible.

How could he possibly know? He and Thomas barely looked at each other when other people were around, so how could Gally know? 

Newt tries to convince himself that it's something else - that there's another underlying problem that he is unaware of but what would it be? He can't think of a reason why Gally would say that besides his suspicions of Newt and Thomas being together finally becoming a solid truth, but Newt doesn't know where his suspicions were even coming from. All Newt is asking himself is: why?

"I'm not a faggot," Thomas says defensively and Gally smirks at him.

"You sure?" he jeers. "Should I ask Newt about that?"

And Thomas' tethers finally snap. He throws his fist at Gally and the moment he does, Minho is by their side trying to pull them apart as they started fighting. 

A few of the other boys try to pry them off of each other but it doesn't work, and Gally and Thomas are practically wrestling each other on the floor. Thomas manages to straddle Gally and when he does, he lifts his fist to punch him again and Newt watches in silence with his lips parted, unsure of what there was that he could do. 

When one of the boys tried to pull Thomas off of Gally, Thomas violently shrugged the boys' hands off of him, and as he went to throw another punch at Gally, Gally starts speaking. 

"All this for that stupid fucking boyfriend of yours? You're nothing but a queer, Thomas. Just admit it."

"He's not my boyfriend," Thomas fumes, and the words are so quiet and so simple, yet they destroy Newt, and they scatter the bits and pieces his heart had become all over the floor.

Newt had always felt like he could overcome the inevitable pain that came along with loving Thomas for so long, because he had gotten used to it. He got used to Thomas not knowing he existed and Thomas not paying him any mind, and the pain that came alongside that had slowly faded into acceptance over time. 

So for those brief moments, Newt felt like he could defeat the pain - like he could defeat the mental rejection. But this time, he couldn’t. This time, the only time where he felt Thomas was actually his, Newt thought there was nothing he could think or say to himself that would help him defeat the ache he felt in his chest. 

Thomas had just denied everything Newt thought they had. Maybe all the time they spent together and all the butterflies and thrills were for nothing after all. And even though Thomas' words came as no surprise to Newt, since Thomas made sure to keep them a secret at all costs, it still didn't change how much they hurt him.

Once again, Newt feels pathetic and stupid, and he doesn't know what to do to make the feeling go away.

"Boys what the hell is going on in here?" Coach Sanders says with his voice dosed in anger. Newt doesn't hear him, though, and his eyes are too blurry for him to see Coach Sanders pull Thomas off of Gally. He's telling himself not to cry over and over because he doesn't want to feel even more pathetic than he already does.

"Everyone on the field. Now." 

Coach Sanders helps Gally up and continues to order everyone on the field, but Newt doesn't move. And neither does Thomas. Thomas is standing there as everyone leaves the locker room, including Coach Sanders, and he looks at Newt with regret.

Newt finally stands up on his weak knees and Thomas makes an effort to reach out for him. As he does, Newt pulls away and walks over to his locker with Thomas following behind him.

"Newt," Thomas calls sadly. "Newt, baby, I'm sorry."

And Newt hates that those words still make his stomach stir, regardless of how frustrated he is at the moment. He unlocks his locker and grabs his stuff so he could leave. There was no way he was going onto the field after what happened. He was too much of a coward to as much as look at Gally, let alone stand next to him.

"Please talk to me," Thomas says, trying again to make Newt stay but Newt moves away from his grip.

"Leave me alone," Newt practically whispers, and Thomas takes another step towards Newt. He can't seem to keep his hands off of Newt as he brings his hands to cup his face, and Newt continues to resist his touch. 

"I'm sorry," he repeats, using his thumb to caress his cheeks. "I didn't know what else to say, Newt, I-"

"Leave me alone," Newt says, louder this time, removing Thomas' hands from his face. Thomas is still looking at him with remorse, and Newt can't take those big brown eyes looking at him like that. It's the closest thing he's ever felt to torture. 

"Not until you talk to me."

"What is there to say, Thomas? Besides the fact that you'd rather pretend like I mean nothing to you than admit that we're together."

"I can't tell them that we're together, Newt."

"And why not?" he says. "You told everyone about Teresa, didn't you? Why do I have to be your little secret?"

"That was different. You know that."

 "I don't want to be your secret, Thomas. I don't want you to deny me because it makes me feel like I'm not worth it. You may not know what that feeling feels like, but it's a shitty feeling."

"You are worth it to me," Thomas tries. 

"And how am I supposed to know that if you deny me like that?" Newt sighs. "I don't want to be your secret," he says softly and turns to finally walk away. Thomas lets Newt walk away this time, and he doesn't attempt to stop him as he does. 

 


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> please bear with me as it is so difficult to tie the main parts of the story together. fillers are a nuisance. 
> 
> X

Newt’s phone rings over a dozen times that night, and it gets to the point where he has to turn it off in order to get some sleep. Thomas had flooded his phone with calls and text messages, and he didn’t stop because Newt had refused to answer. Although he wanted to talk to Thomas, and boy did he want to, he forced himself not to because he was still upset, and he didn’t want to give in to Thomas so easily.

He also doesn’t want to make himself even more upset than he already is by speaking to Thomas, but he was doing so by not talking to him. He missed him, and it had only been a couple of hours.

Newt is so bothered by what happened that he doesn’t want to wake up to go to school the next morning, but, of course, his mom drags him out of bed and forces him to get in the shower. He’s rather quiet on the bus to school, but Winston doesn’t seem to mind, as he continues to talk regardless of this and Newt hums along with his words to make it seem as if he was actually listening.

To make matters worse, it’s spirit week at Redwood High. The football game was supposed to take place at the end of the week, so the entire school was covered in twice as many blue posters and banners as there were previously. Plus, the entire cheerleading team was dressed up in their uniforms handing out flyers with the football players doing the same, sporting their jerseys with blue and black paint underneath their eyes.

"Go Jaguars!" Sonya chants excitedly, handing out papers to whoever passed her way. Newt made sure not to because she was standing next to Gally who did not look very amused. 

Instead, he walks over to Alby with Winston by his side and smiles softly when Alby offers him a bright grin.

"Hey Newt," he says. "There's a pep rally tomorrow if you're interested. You and your friend here should come. It'll be fun."

He hands posters to both Newt and Winston and Newt looks down at it before looking over to Winston. "Do you wanna' go?" he asks.

"I don't see why not."

Newt nods at Alby. "We'll see you there, then."

And Alby smiles again before Newt and Winston start walking to their lockers. The hallways are much louder than they usually are due to spirit week, and Newt knew it would stay that way until the game was over and homecoming had passed. 

He was hoping he wouldn't run into Thomas, but he spotted him on the other end of the hallway standing next to Minho. As usual, Minho was trying to flirt with Brenda and Brenda was playing hard to get, rolling her eyes at him even though she had a smile across her face. 

When Minho tries to lean in and kiss her, she puts her hand in front of his face before she walks away and Minho complains. "Come on, baby!" he yells. "Don't be like that!"

Thomas laughs beside Minho and hands a poster to a girl that was passing him. He says something to her with a smile on his face, but his smile doesn't last for long, as he looks up at Newt and it slowly fades to a frown. Newt hates that look because it makes him feel bad, even though he knew he wasn't the one doing anything wrong, and he hates how Thomas always has that effect of him.

He sighs as he opens his locker, and a small folded piece of paper falls from it and lands on his feet. He bends down to pick it up and as soon as he opens it, he knows it Thomas' handwriting. Newt can feel Thomas' eyes on him as he looks down at the paper, and suddenly he feels annoyed.

"What is that?" Winston asks as he tries to peer over to look at it, but Newt crumples it up before Winston or he himself could read it. If Thomas thought a note would fix what he did, he was largely mistaken. 

"Garbage," he says, walking over to the trash can and throwing it away. Thomas looks frustrated when Newt looks over to him, and Minho is trying to suppress his laughter. He hits Minho in his shoulder and glares at him while Minho continues to laugh. 

"What are you, in middle school or something?" Newt hears Minho say to Thomas as he returns to his locker, and he rolls his eyes, grabbing his book and slamming his locker shut. He decides to walk in the other direction so he doesn't have to face Thomas, and Winston doesn't question him, staying by his side as they walk to class. 

"Hey, do you wanna' come over tonight?" Newt asks suddenly, and Winston raises his eyebrows. 

"Is this a joke?" Winston says. "Are you playing games with me?"

Newt laughs quietly. "No Wins."

"Then yeah," Winston nods with a smile. "Yeah man. It's been a while."

"Yeah," Newt agrees after thinking about it. He had been spending so much time with Thomas and he was abandoning Winston in the process without even realizing. It was no wonder that it seemed as if Winston was starting to get irritated with him every time he turned him down to hang out with Thomas. 

The bell rings and Winston and Newt part ways. Though Newt loved Mrs. Patterson, he wasn't looking forward to being in the same room as Thomas for an entire period. 

He sits in his usual seat and barely lifts his eyes when Minho and Thomas enter the room around 15 minutes after the bell rings, and he spends almost the entire period forcing himself not to look up. He fails a couple times, however, and each time makes him miss Thomas more than the last. 

 

 

 

As Newt sits in his living room with Winston, the only thing that runs through his mind is Thomas. It's getting ridiculous because not a second goes by when Newt isn't thinking about him. And while he finally spends some quality time with his only friend, his mind is elsewhere. 

He's barely paying attention to the video game they're playing, and his character dies multiple times because of how much he's spacing out. Eventually, he mentally slaps himself across the face to snap out of it. It would be unfair to Winston if Newt kept acting the way he was, so he brushed away the thought of Thomas, well he tried to at least, and put a smile on his face, even though it hurt to do so. 

"You fucking suck, Newt," Winston chuckles, and Newt nudges him with his shoulder. 

"And you don't?" he jokes with a smirk. 

"Bet I can kick your ass."

"How much money are we putting on that?"

"Two bucks dude I'm broke."

Newt bursts into laughter and his laugh is genuine this time. He and Winston are going back and forth with the winning title, and they're both moving their controllers dramatically as if it would help them win. 

Just as Winston is about to win, Newt slaps his controller out of his hand with a cheeky smile and Winston pretends to gasp as he tries to reach for Newt's controller.

"You're such a cheater!" 

Newt moves his controller out of arms' reach and Winston continues to try and grab it from him, but he fails miserably. So he tackles Newt instead and Newt squeals, trying aimlessly to push Winston off of him. But Winston is much stronger than he looks, and he's able to pin Newt's arms down underneath his knees. 

"No!" Newt shouts while he tries to move his arms because he knows Winston is about to tickle him. It was his worst weakness, and Winston always used it against him. 

"Please, Wins! I'm sorry!" 

"Is that begging I hear? You know how I feel about begging," Winston smiles at him mischievously before bringing his fingers to Newt's sides and tickling him. His stomach starts to hurt with how much he's laughing, and he continues to struggle and writhe while Winston uses the tips of his fingers to brush against Newt's skin.

"Stop!"  

But Winston refuses to, and Newt keeps attempting to wiggle his arms to free them. He manages to after a long while of being tortured, yet Winston is still able to keep him pinned down. As soon as Newt tries to push Winston off of him again, Winston catches his hands and pins them above his head with a smirk. 

Newt is out of breath from struggling so much, and he glares up at Winston with the corner of his mouth twitching because of the smile he was trying to suppress and his lips pursed. Winston's eyes flicker down to look at them.

"I'm gonna' kill you," Newt says and Winston's smirk only widens. 

Winston doesn't pull his eyes away from Newt's lips until Newt's phone begins to vibrate on the end table that was next the couch. He reaches over Newt and picks up, his face resembling one of annoyance when he looks at the screen. Newt can finally sit up with Winston not holding him down anymore since he now sat on the other end of the couch, and Newt leans up on his elbows while he looks at Winston with his brows furrowed. 

"Who is it?" 

"Thomas."

Newt frowns. 

"Are you going to answer it?" 

Newt shakes his head, and they both sit in silence as the phone vibrates until it stops. 

"Apparently he's called you 7 times in the last fifteen minutes and left you 5 text messages," Winston says, and Newt sits up straight so he can take the phone from him. 

"Seriously?"

He unlocks his phone and sighs as he reads them, his heart a sudden reminder of how much he had been deprived of Thomas. He felt like he was having a relapse because Thomas was his drug no matter how much he denied it, and he couldn't pretend to be fine without him for long without crashing again. 

"Why is he calling you so much?"

Not only does Winston sound annoyed, but he sounds angry, and Newt knows it's because of how much he hates him. He would never understand why he did so much, even as he was angry with Thomas himself. 

"I don't know. It's nothing, anyway," Newt says, putting his phone aside and giving Winston a small forced smile. "Let's watch a movie."

Winston doesn't seem to believe him with the way he's looking at Newt, still he doesn't say anything about it. They sit a respective distance on the couch and they barely say a word to each other as the movie plays. After Winston leaves later on, Newt goes up to his room and stares at the text messages Thomas had sent him. His fingers dance over the keyboard as if he was going to reply, but he decides against it, and he places his phone on his dresser. 

Thomas texts him a few more times before he goes to sleep, but Newt doesn't even look at them because he knows they'll only tempt him to respond.

 


	15. Chapter 15

Newt wakes up out of his sleep when he hears a small tapping sound against his window. He waits for it to stop, but it doesn't, and every five seconds he hears it again. He groans and rolls over in his bed, rubbing his eyes before he looks at the clock. It's almost three in the morning - he does not need to be up at this time. 

He stands up slowly and lugs himself to the window, looking out and around but not seeing anything that would be responsible for the sound. Speaking of the sound, it had stopped. Newt is about to go back to bed, but it starts again, and he sighs, walking back to the window and looking out again. 

This time, he looks down, and he sees a person on the sidewalk with familiar freckles and big brown eyes looking up at him. It's Thomas. He weakly smiles up at Newt.

Newt opens his window and rests his hands on the window sill as he peaks his head out of it. "Thomas what the hell are you doing?" 

"I figured this was the only way to get your attention. It worked, didn't it?" 

Newt sighs again.  

"I didn't bring a boom box, though. But I can sing to you if you want?"

Newt doesn't say anything in response.

"By the way, it wasn't nice that you threw my letter away. That hurt." 

"It's too late for this."

"Well, you wouldn't answer my texts, Newt," Thomas says as if that was a reasonable explanation for why he was standing outside of Newt's house so late at night.

"Because I don't want to talk to you right now. Go home, Tommy."

"No," Thomas replies stubbornly, and he doesn't budge.

"That's fine. You can stay out there if you want, but I'm going back to sleep."

"Come down."

"I'm going back to sleep," Newt repeats as he reaches up to close his window, but Thomas starts speaking again before he can.

"Then I'll just keep throwing rocks at your window."

Newt looks down at Thomas to see if he was actually being serious and when he realizes he is, he rolls his eyes.

"What do you want?" 

"I just want to talk to you."

He considers saying no to him, but he figures he should stop being so obstinate and give Thomas a chance. Plus, he had not yet mastered the skill of ignoring Thomas. It was actually a pretty difficult task for Newt.

"Fine. I'm coming down."

He's careful not to wake his parents up out of their sleep as he sneaks out of his room and down the hallway so he could go down the stairs. It was way too late for him to be getting scolded, so he was making sure he would prevent that from happening at all costs. 

The cold breeze that hits Newt as soon as he opens the front door causes him to shiver, and he immediately regrets not bringing a jacket down with him. He hugs his arms to his chest as he steps outside, and he takes a seat on the stairs. Thomas sits beside him after he does. 

"Do you want my jacket?" he offers, but Newt shakes his head. Thomas takes his jacket off anyway and puts it on Newt's shoulders. He starts to melt when he does due to the warmth of it and the smell of Thomas' cologne. It makes his head spin and it only adds to the list of reasons why Newt misses him, even though he was sitting next to him. 

Thomas leans forward and puts his elbows on his knees, lacing his fingers together before he sighs. "I wanted to apologize."

"You have already."

"Yeah, but I also wanted to explain."

Newt actually looks at him when he says this, and Thomas is looking at the ground, but he looks up at Newt after a few moments and maintains their eye contact. He practically takes in every feature of Newt's appearance as he looks at him and scans his eyes over his face before he starts speaking. 

"I've been questioning myself for the last few weeks and I still haven't figured myself out yet. I mean I don't think I'm gay but at the same time, how can I not be if I like you so much?"

He pauses before he continues. "So I figured the best thing to do was to keep our relationship a secret until I figured everything out. I wasn't planning on keeping you a secret forever, Newt. I just wanted to give it some time before everyone knew."

Newt looks down at his hands and Thomas keeps his eyes on him. 

"Please say something."

"I get that you're confused about yourself, Tommy. I really do. But did you really think that was the best way to handle it? When doing that, you chose everyone's opinion over my feelings. Did you know that?"

"And I'm sorry for that. I wasn't thinking about the consequences when I said it. I really didn't mean to hurt you."

"I know," Newt says softly. 

Thomas reaches over and takes Newt's hand, intertwining their fingers. Newt finds himself staring down at their hands and he still cannot get over how perfect they feel together. 

"I hope you aren't mad at me, baby," Thomas says, and his voice is so delicate, it sounds like he's whispering. 

"Not mad," Newt looks at Thomas again. "Upset."

"What do you want me to do? I'll do anything."

"If I told you, it wouldn't be as meaningful, would it?" Newt says, and he puts his free hand over their laced fingers. "But I do want you to figure yourself out. It'll make everything much easier if you do. And maybe by then you'll be more comfortable with accepting us, you know?"

Newt sounds sad as he says this and Thomas frowns.

"I do accept us."

"Not entirely."

Thomas looks like he feels even more guilty with every word Newt says, and his pout is starting to tear Newt apart. He knows just sitting beside him would make him want to take everything he said back so they could go back to the way they were. 

"It's really late Tommy. You should go home."

He sighs as Newt stands, and he stands up a few seconds later. Newt takes Thomas' jacket off of his shoulder and hands it back to him, shivering once again from the cold air. 

"I'm sorry," Thomas says again and Newt gives him a sad smile. 

"Goodnight Tommy."

Newt doesn't want to pull his hand away from Thomas' grasp, but he does, and his hand feels cold like the rest of his body as soon as he does. He wants to kiss Thomas, but he doesn't, and his heart starts to hurt when he walks away from him. 

He barely hears Thomas mutter a goodbye as he enters his house and closes the door behind him. It takes Thomas a few seconds to move away from his doorstep and when he finally does, Newt goes up to his room. He peers out the window when he hears a car door open and close, and he sees Thomas in the drivers seat of his car with his hands on the steering wheel and his head resting against hands.

Almost a minute goes by before Thomas sits up straight and turns on his car. He looks over at Newt's house and up at his window, and they make brief eye contact for a moment or two. Thomas' shoulders rise and fall when he sighs as he looks away from him and at the road ahead of him. He takes the car out of park and drives off, causing his tires to screech with how fast he was driving.  

After Thomas pulls off, Newt moves away from his window and crawls back into his bed. He peers over to the clock and sees it's twenty past three and sighs when he realizes he was no longer tired.

He doesn't know how long he can keep depriving himself of Thomas before he falls apart because he feels like it's inevitable. It hadn't been more than a few days and he already was starting to feel empty. 

He rolls onto his side and pulls his duvet covers up so they cover his shoulders and tries to fall asleep, but it doesn't work. Thomas was plaguing his brain and it was driving him crazy. 

 

 

 

Newt thinks he should have reevaluated his decision in attending the schools pep rally. Reason number one being that it was outside and the season was about to change, therefore it was a bit too cold for him to be sitting on the bleachers without some kind of jacket. Reason number two being that both Thomas and Teresa were on the same field, and they were both practically the center of attention. 

Being the head cheerleader, Teresa was in front of all of the others, which meant she was also cheering the loudest. Thomas wasn't even the quarterback of the team - Minho was, but somehow he managed to get the attention of everyone in the bleachers, regardless of him being the defensive guard and the pass rusher of the team. Newt thinks it has something to do with his good looks. 

He doesn't like seeing all of the girls obsess over Thomas because he still belonged to him, even if they weren't on the same terms anymore. But he couldn't necessarily get upset with them because they didn't know. No one knew. 

"Are you cold? You're shivering," Winston says beside him, and Newt doesn't realize he is until Winston had mentioned it. 

"I guess so."

Winston gestures for Newt to come closer with his arms open and Newt does, scooting next to him and Winston wraps his arm around Newt. He's warm, but he doesn't feel like home. 

Still, he rests his head on Winston's shoulder as he looks down at the field. He isn't particularly entertained by the cheerleaders screaming at the top of their lungs, and he's even less entertained when music starts playing and they start dancing to it.

He tries to subdue his irritation as he watches Teresa sway her hips with a smug smile on her lips, but he can't help himself, especially since she's looking directly at Thomas as she does. But Thomas is not looking back at her. Instead, he's looking up into the bleachers with his arms crossed over his chest. 

He tilts his head as he scans the bleachers, and he doesn't stop looking until his eyes land on Newt. He frowns when he looks at him, his eyebrows tense and tight.

Newt doesn't notice he's staring at him for quite some time, but when he does, he can tell that Thomas is slightly exasperated due to his agitated expression, and Newt can't help but wonder why. He doesn't reciprocate their eye contact for long, but Thomas continues to look at him, and Newt avoids his eyes. 

The cheerleaders finally finish their routine and everyone in the bleachers claps for them, some even standing as if giving them a standing ovation. The only people who were whistling at them were the desperate pricks who sat at the bottom of the bleachers. They always chased after each cheerleader as if they were meat, and they always got rejected and Newt doesn't know why they still try. It was pointless.

"Do you see that girl next to Teresa?" Winston says suddenly, and Newt lifts his head to look down at the field. It takes him a few moments for her name to ring a bell, though. 

"Sonya?" he replies and Winston nods. "What about her?"

"She's in my Science class and she's so dim, I swear she can make a broken light seem bright."

Newt slaps him and tries not to laugh but he still does when Winston starts laughing. 

"I'm serious! One time, Mr. Fisher paired us up together and she asked me how the sun is on fire when there's no oxygen in space. Can you believe that?"

"I guess her and Gally are made for each other," Newt chuckles.

"Gally?"

"Yeah. I'm pretty sure they're together."

Winston's face is priceless when Newt says that, and it makes Newt laugh again.

"Gally?" Winston says with disbelief and Newt nods. "That's disgusting."

"You're so mean, Wins," Newt says, but his words are not serious. Winston knows he's joking, anyway. 

They're barely participating in the pep rally, as all Newt and Winston are doing is talking and laughing about nonsense while every other student is chanting with the football players and the cheerleaders. Newt starts to question why they came in the first place if they weren't even paying attention.

Thomas is barely participating either as he stands next to Minho. He looks uninterested in the pep rally, and while Minho, Alby, and Gally are chanting, he stands beside them quietly. Minho hits him playfully when he becomes aware of this, but Thomas only throws on a fake smile in response. It was obvious that he didn't want to be there, which was odd because Thomas was always into all things football. 

In fact, he was usually the most enthusiastic person on the field, but things were different this time. Things were different because his mind was occupied by a familiar blond that was laughing and smiling in the arms of someone that wasn't him. 

"Are we coming to the game tomorrow?" Winston asks.

Newt doesn't understand why Winston always wanted to attend all of the sporting events when he hated practically the entire team. "Do we have to?"

Winston pouts. "Come on, Newt. We always go to the games together. And I don't want to go by myself."

"There isn't a bloody soul on the team that you don't hate, Winston. So _why_ do you want to go to the game?"

"It's our thing. Like I said, we always go to the games. And besides, I like football, not them. I don't have to like the players to like the game," Winston says. "That's not the point, though. You're coming too, right?"

Truth be told, Newt didn't want to go because of obvious reasons. But he couldn't tell Winston because he wouldn't understand. He groans. "Fine. But I'm not promising I'll stay for the entire time."

Winston still smiles regardless of this. "Are you sleeping over at my place as well? I still have that movie we haven't watched yet."

"You bet," Newt smiles back.

Homecoming was the day after the game, and Newt figured he would be better off spending the day with Winston like they usually did rather than by himself. He needed him to take Thomas off of his mind, and so far he was doing a good job at doing so.


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had to do so much research for this and I STILL barely understand football. It might have been easier to make Thomas a running back or the quarterback, but this story is already cliche enough lol. 
> 
> P.S - there just might be a cute little soundtrack to go with this story by the end of it :)
> 
> X

The sun had already begun to set, and the air had already begun to frost by the time the bleachers were beginning to be filled and occupied by eager students for the second day in a row. Some of the students were sporting the schools' colors, black and blue, even going as far as painting stripes underneath their eyes like most of the football players did. 

Near the bottom of the bleachers, the cheerleaders had started their chants in order to get the crowd going. This was one of the biggest football games of the year because it was almost the last, and the school was determined to win it. They had been on a winning streak for 7 years straight, and they weren't willing to give up their title now or ever. 

That was probably why Redwood High took football so seriously. They had a title to defend, and that title was valued for years on end. If they gave up their title, they would be giving up the team as a whole (as dramatic as it sounds).

The cheerleaders from the opposing team were trying to out yell those of Redwood, but it didn't seem to work as Teresa and the team had quite some lungs on them. They could scream for hours without worrying about decrescendoing into a hoarse whisper. Newt hated to admit it, but it was quite impressive.

The football players join in on their chanting and the crowd immediately starts chanting even louder. It's so loud, Newt has to resist the urge to cover his ears with his hands. Instead, he waits patiently for it to die down, but it takes a couple minutes for it to. 

As the game came to a near, the football players from both teams began to gather along with their coaches. Coach Sanders was holding a stern expression as he spoke to the boys, which was not a surprise because his face was always stern, and the boys put their arms over each others shoulders as they huddled up to listen. 

Newt could barely hear him from where he sat, but whatever he said seemed to be inspirational and that was all that mattered. The boys put their hands in the middle of their circle and pushed them up and down three times before breaking and patting each other on the back for good luck. 

Even if Thomas' face was covered by his helmet, Newt still knew which one he was. Number 17. He had spent so much time at the games with Winston, and all he ever did was watch Thomas.

He had learned his number back in freshman year and he would never forget it because that was where his eyes always remained throughout the entire game. 

While the rest of his team is giving each other pep talks, Thomas is looking into the bleachers, which apparently he had a habit of doing. Newt is looking right at him as he searches, but before Thomas can find Newt's eyes, Minho is beside him, grabbing the facemask of his helmet and making him look at him. He rests their helmets together and Thomas begins to nod as he listens to Minho's words.

Minho pats Thomas on his shoulder before they part, and Thomas joins the rest of the boys when they do. He talks to most of his teammates, but he makes sure he avoids Gally, who he had remained a respectable distance from because he was still quite angry at him for what he had done. He knew Gally was a dick, but Gally had never acted that way towards him, and it really changed the way he saw him. 

Coach Sanders informs the team that the game would be starting so the two teams begin to jog onto the field to take their positions. Thomas adjusts his chin strap as he waits for everyone to get into their positions and he glances back at Minho to see him glancing right back at him. They always gave each other a small nod of reassurance before every game, and even though the nods were very subtle, Newt had managed to notice it.  

The boys get down and Thomas puts his hand down on the grass before looking up at the defense player that was positioned across from him. The only thing that separated them was the line of scrimmage, but that changed when the referee blew his whistle. Thomas and the defense player immediately sprint towards each other, but Thomas gets the upper hand as he is able to tackle him.

Minho dodges the other players as he runs and when he feels like the moment is right, he throws the ball to Alby who is almost halfway across the field. And Alby catches it, running in the direction of the end zone. 

"With the amount of football games we've attended, I don't understand how I _still_ don't know what's going on," Newt says, looking up at Winston who was way too into the game. Newt always insisted on sitting throughout the duration of the games while Winston always insisted on standing. It was strange. 

"Maybe you just aren't paying attention," Winston responds, and Newt can't disagree. 

So maybe he spent most of his time staring at number 17 and how good he looked in his football uniform, but this time, Newt was actually attempting to keep up with the game. He knew he shouldn't spend two hours staring Thomas down because it would probably worsen his severe case of  _sadnessbecausemyboyfrienddoesn'tacceptourrelationship._ There was a cure for it, but it hasn't been provided to him yet. 

"Just tell me the basics."

And just as Newt says this, Alby crosses the end zone and makes a touchdown. Everyone in the bleachers stands up to cheer as a result, blocking Newt's view in the process. 

"I have a gazillion times, Newt."

"Then it shouldn't be too hard to explain it again," Newt says and Winston groans, rolling his eyes. 

"Fine. The objective is pretty simple, right? Get the ball to the other side of the field. So the quarterback starts with the ball and he throws it to the wide receiver, and the wide receiver can either throw it to the tight end or the running back. Then they run to the other side of the field and boom - touchdown. Point for the team. Got it?"

Winston doesn't wait for Newt's response before he turns his attention back to the field. The game still sounds ridiculous to Newt, so he continues to ask questions. 

"What about those guys near the line? Who are they?"

"Tacklers."

His answer was rather inadequate, but Newt was satisfied with it.

He watches the game, but not with as much enthusiasm as the rest of the school. Everyone else is out of their seats, yelling and screaming about how the players should be playing the game even if they probably couldn't hear them from the field. But Newt is quiet. 

The game seems to go by slower with every second that passes, and now all Newt wants to do is leave. It wasn't fun to watch the game if he was constantly getting reminded of Thomas.

It was fine at first, but Newt is starting to get irritable. He doesn't know how long he can take waiting for the game to be over, and he considers asking Winston if they could leave, but he doesn't. He didn't want to ruin the fun for Winston, so he continued to stay quiet. 

The first and second quarter finish within an hour, and during half time, the marching band performs. Newt gets a weird feeling of nostalgia as he watches them perform, even though it hadn't been that long since he had. He was grateful Ms. Phillips had not asked him to perform again because of how humiliated he felt afterward. But even if she had asked Newt to perform again, Newt would have kindly declined her, anyway.

As usual, the cheerleaders are dancing along with the beat of the marching band. This time, Newt barely bothers to look in their direction. Instead, he looks down and plays with his fingers, finding much more interest in them. And Winston finally takes a seat beside him. 

"You look bored," he says.

"That's because I am."

Winston sighs. "The game is great, though. We're definitely gonna' win. Not that we've ever lost, anyway."

"For you," Newt replies. "I'm not into football as much as you are."

"Well you always attend the games and you always watch them so I don't know how this game is any more boring than the other ones' we've gone to, Newt."

Newt shrugs, but he knows exactly why. 

"Don't worry. It'll be over in an hour or so."

As if that made anything better. Newt wants to leave _now_. He barely had an idea of what was going on and even if he did, he still wouldn't want to stay. 

"Great. I'll just suffer for another hour," Newt says sarcastically, giving Winston a fake smile. 

"You're such a drama queen," Winston chuckles. 

Although Newt's patience was practically to the floor, he still stayed and waited for the game to end. He knew Winston would not want to leave without finding out the final score because that was what he had come for after all. Newt found this ridiculous, though, because the game was pretty predictable, seeing as Redwood was destroying the other school with a score of 11 to 2.

The Jaguars just could not be beaten - especially not by some amateur school. 

Redwood finally finishes the game with a score of 22 to 6, and Newt is not surprised. The football team gathers together to cheer about their win and the cheerleaders seem just as excited as they are. Newt sees Aris walking down the bleachers and he jogs over to Teresa after he reaches the bottom. 

Teresa almost makes Aris fall over when she jumps on him, kissing him in excitement. She really was the queen of PDA as almost every time Newt looked at her, she was either touching Aris or locking lips with him. It was disturbing. 

After they pull away, Teresa pulls Aris into a hug, but she's searching for Thomas' eyes with that stupid smug smile as she does. Newt is grateful when he looks at Thomas and realizes that once again, he was not looking in her direction. He was still with the team, and this time, he had a real smile on his face. Or at least it appeared to be. 

"You ready to go?"

Newt pulls his attention away from him and turns to Winston, nodding. "Yeah."

He stands up and slings his bag over his shoulder, walking down the bleachers like all of the other students were. Most of them walked over to the team to presumably praise and honor them, but Newt and Winston walked in the other direction. 

A small part of Newt wishes Thomas would see him and suddenly run after him like people did in the movies, but he doesn't, and he's left disappointed again. He's waiting for Thomas to just do _something_ instead of doing nothing. He's only tried to talk to Newt once, and it was at 3 am when no one else was around. 

Newt knows he can't blame Thomas because he had told him that he was still trying to figure himself out, but was it so bad that Thomas couldn't even speak to Newt when other people were around? 

It seemed unfair, and it hurt every time Newt so much as thought about Thomas being too ashamed to talk to him in public. Maybe Winston was right. Maybe he was just being a drama queen. Speaking of Winston-

"Newt?" he says, and Newt snaps out of his temporary daze. They've already made it out of the football field, and they had started walking to Winston's house, which was in the same direction of Newt's. 

"Huh? Sorry, I was-"

"Spacing out? I know."

Newt sighs. 

"What's on your mind?" Winston asks, and Newt shakes his head in response. 

"Nothing."

Winston continues to look at Newt as if he doesn't believe him. "You're a horrible liar, you know that?"

"It's nothing," Newt responds softly. "I promise, Wins."

After looking at Newt for a few more seconds and realizing he wasn't going to say anything, Winston dropped it. They don't say much as they walk, and they're left in silence as a result. Silence always puts Newt deeper into thought, and he hopes Winston would say something, anything, so he could get his mind off of Thomas. He doesn't. 

Winston shoves his hands into the pockets of his jeans and glances over at Newt a few times as they walk. Newt barely notices because of how oblivious he is, but he does notice when Winston stops walking, and he turns around to look at him. He waits for Winston to say something but he remains silent. 

"What?" Newt says as he looks at Winston. He opens his mouth but closes it when no words come out and Newt is confused. 

It is quite dark outside because of the nightfall and the only source of light they had was the lamp posts that stood in front of some of the houses. The light illuminates Winston's features delicately, and Newt can tell by the look on his face that something is up. He's expecting some sort of explanation, but he still says nothing as the seconds go by.  

He moves even closer to Newt, his steps small and slow, and they're only a few inches apart by the time he stops. It seems as if he's having an internal battle by the look on his face, but his expression softens when he seems like he's made his decision. 

"Are you alright?"

Still no words. But rather than speaking, Winston starts slowly leaning towards Newt and Newt's confusion starts getting worse with every second. When it finally clicks within him, Newt delicately lifts his hand to Winston's chest to stop him from moving any closer and his eyebrows scrunch together in a frown. 

"What are you doing?"

Winston's eyes flicker from Newt's lips and up to his eyes. His expression is hard to read with their poorly lit surroundings, regardless of how close he was to Newt. 

He sighs audibly and moves back a little, causing Newt's hand to fall from his chest. Then he reaches his hand up and rubs the back of his neck awkwardly, looking away from him. 

"I'm sorry," he whispers. "I don't know what I was thinking."

And Newt doesn't know what to say because he's speechless. He doesn't want to say anything because there was hardly anything that could be said. What is there to say when your best friend tries to kiss you? 

He isn't sure of how he's supposed to feel at this point, but all he knows is that he no longer wanted to spend the night with him. All he wanted to do was go home. Maybe some alone time might have been what he needed all along instead of Winston's presence.

"I think I should go," he mutters quietly, and he looks away from Winston as well. Neither one of them is looking at the other, and suddenly the air around them is too awkward for Newt to breathe in. 

He takes a few backward and careful steps away from Winston before turning around completely and walking away. Besides confusion, Newt feels stupid for not noticing sooner. It took Winston trying to kiss him for Newt to realize he had liked him all along. He now thinks that was why Winston would get mad every time he told him he was going to see Thomas.

That was probably why he hated Thomas so much overall - because he was spending so much time with Newt and taking away Winston's opportunity to. 

Because Newt is so desperate to get home, the blocks seem to get longer and longer with every step he takes. He can't seem to get home fast enough so he speeds up his steps but he still doesn't feel satisfied with how long it's taking him to get home. 

Finally, he makes is home, and he tries to sprint up his stairs, but his mom calls after him before he can. 

"Newt honey? Is that you?"

He really does not want to be questioned at this point, but it was inevitable and unavoidable anyway. "Yeah, it's me."

Newt hears his mom's footsteps as they get closer to the staircase, and she stops at the bottom of them, crossing her arms over her chest and looking up at Newt who had stopped in the middle of the stairs. 

"What are you doing home? I thought you were staying at Winston's?"

"I was," he says, unsure of how to complete his sentence. "I guess we just had a change of plans."

"You guess?"

His mom gives him the look, the _I knowing you're lying look_ , and Newt sighs. 

"What happened, Newton?"

"I don't really want to talk about it right now, mum. Please - can I just go to my room?"

He can tell she doesn't want to let him off the hook, but surprisingly he does. Of course it's not temporary because it never was whenever his mom excused Newt.

"Alright. But we're speaking about this tomorrow morning, okay?"

Newt nods before running up the rest of the stairs and going into his room. He tosses his bag onto the floor and grabs one of his pillows so he could lie down on his stomach. 

He doesn't think he can handle going into deep thought again because he had been doing way too much thinking throughout the entire day. His brain was literally exhausted. 

The only thing he wanted was to forget everything for just five seconds so he could have some internal peace for once. There was too much going on and he wanted a break from it all. He didn't need to add another thing to the list of reasons why he could not sleep at night, but it seemed as if Winston would be added to that list, and he wasn't sure if he could handle that. 

He hoped things would go back to the way they were sooner rather than later, so he could finally be at ease and stop stressing and worrying so much about everything. 


	17. Chapter 17

Newt doesn't want to think about what happened the night before. He just wants to forget about it completely, but he can't. He was constantly reminded of it with every move he made and his mom was only making it worse. Every time he saw her throughout the day, she would give him the _when are you going to tell me_ look. It was his fault for agreeing on telling his mom about what had happened after all, yet every time he even so much as considered telling her about it, he felt like he shouldn't.

It wasn't like Winston had actually kissed him, he had only tried to. And even if he had, Newt still was not sure if he should tell his mom about it. He doesn't want her to think of Winston any differently, especially if Newt still considered him a friend - a best friend, actually. Plus, it'd be much harder to forget about it if his mom knew about it.

However, he tells her about it anyway. Newt is barely capable of withholding information from his mom for long. She always finds a way to get answers out of him, and she usually does it just by looking at him. 

Her expression is rather blank and unaffected after Newt tells her, and he waits for her to respond, but she doesn't. She looks as if she's waiting for him to explain the rest of the story, although there was nothing else for him to tell. Overall, she doesn't seem phased or surprised, and Newt is perplexed.  

"Why don't you seem surprised?" Newt asks suddenly and his mom smiles at him delicately. 

They're currently in the kitchen, and Newt is leaning against the counter while his mom opens the fridge and takes out a carton of orange juice. He never really understood why she could drink it at all hours of the day. She takes a glass out of the cabinet and rests it on the other counter before opening the cap and looking over to Newt. 

"You're so oblivious, do you know that? You're lucky your cute looks make up for it."

As she pours the glass, Newt crosses his arms over his chest and nearly gasps at her words. "I am not oblivious."

"That's like saying you're straight, honey," she says, bringing the glass to her mouth, and she almost spits out her juice when Newt makes a face at her. 

"Mum!"

"It's true!" 

She's still chuckling at Newt's sour expression and she has to cover her mouth with her hand to stifle her laughter. It doesn't work and Newt rolls his eyes at her. 

"How am I oblivious?"

"Well for starters, you didn't know poor Winston had a crush on you."

"How was I supposed to know?" Newt inquires. His mom looks at him as if he's an idiot. 

"Do you not see the way he looks at you? That kid looks at you like you're the best thing he's ever laid eyes on in his entire life. It's been like that for years, Newt. And I cannot believe you didn't notice."

Was it really that obvious?

Once again, Newt feels kind of stupid for missing something that was so blatant. But then again, maybe it was because he was too caught up in the idea of Thomas for four years to notice. 

If he were to think about it, there were little things Winston used to do that made it so obvious that he had feelings for Newt. He always wanted to spend time with him, and he always got jealous every time Newt chose Thomas over him. His mom was right - he was oblivious. 

"Does Thomas know?"

Newt doesn't know why the question comes as such as surprise, but then he realizes that he never told his mom about what Thomas had done. He still doesn't want to. It's the same reason why he didn't want to tell her about Winston - he didn't want to change his moms' opinion about him. Though she didn't seem to change the way she looked at Winston based on Newt's words, Newt still insisted on not telling her. She loved Thomas way too much and Newt didn't want to risk changing that, even if they were going through a quarrel at the moment. 

"No." 

"Are you ever going to tell him?" 

Newt shrugs. "I honestly wasn't planning to. Why? Does it matter?" 

"So you're saying you wouldn't get upset if one of Thomas' close friends tried to kiss him and he chose not to tell you about it?" his mom says, and when she puts it in that sense, it makes Newt contemplate. He knows he would be angry if that ever happened, especially if that person were to be Teresa. 

He sighs. "I would."

"Then you should tell him. For good measure."

The only problem with telling him was that they weren't necessarily on speaking terms at the moment. He also thinks texting Thomas to tell him that Winston tried to kiss him was a bad idea. No one deserves that kind of news over text. 

Besides, he was probably at homecoming at the moment. The sun had gone down a few hours ago, meaning the music had assumingly already started to play and the students have already begun to gather at the school. Newt did not want to prevent Thomas from having a good time by sending him a text message like that. 

A small part of Newt regrets not going to homecoming, even if he probably wouldn't have gone with Thomas or Winston anyway. It might have been his last opportunity to attend one before high school was over, and he would never have another chance to experience one ever again. The only thing left that was close to homecoming was prom, which sadly was also debated upon by Newt. He didn't necessarily like the idea of dressing up in a tuxedo only to dance horribly in a room full of his peers. 

Newt and his mom talk for quite some time in the kitchen, but the sound of the doorbell ringing stops their chatter, and Newt's mom rests her glass on the counter before walking over to the door. Newt doesn't follow, instead staying in the kitchen and waiting for his mom to come back. He assumes it's his dad or something because he was supposed to come home soon, but it's not. 

"Speak of the devil!" Newt's mom yells as she opens the door and Newt raises an eyebrow. Out of curiosity, he walks out of the kitchen with his arms still crossed over his chest and looks over to where his mom stands in the doorway, hugging _Thomas_. Just the sight of him makes Newt think he's had enough for a 24 hour period. 

"You look so handsome!" she exclaims as they pull away from each other and it is then that Newt realizes Thomas is wearing a suit and tie. He can't help but look him up and down and he can't deny that he looks good, really good, in that suit. It almost makes him completely forget why they weren't talking for a brief moment in time. 

"Thanks," Thomas says, smiling at Newt's mom before his eyes land on Newt. And Newt is still eyeing him in his suit, but they make eye contact once he looks back up at Thomas' eyes. He's standing a few feet behind his mother, and she looks back at him in confusion. She waves her hand as if telling Newt to come closer and Newt does, taking small but sure steps closer to them. 

"Hey," Thomas practically whispers.

"Hey."

Newt's mom seems to be even more confused with the way they're looking at each other as the seconds go by, and she clears her throat when the silence begins to get unbearable. 

"So," she starts. "Do you want to come inside?"

"No thank you, Mrs. Clifton," he responds respectfully, glancing at her briefly before reverting his eyes back to Newt. "I actually wanted to take Newt somewhere if that's okay with him?"

"Of course it's okay with him!" 

She looks at Newt with a smile. Then she slaps Newt on his arm when he doesn't say anything in response and gives him a look, also managing to keep the smile on her face while doing so. He knows that his mom can sense when something is up and that was why she was forcing him to say yes. Newt unfolds his arms and sighs. "Okay. Fine." 

Thomas gives Newt a small and relieved smile after he agrees, but Newt doesn't look at him for long as he can already feel his insides starting to twist. He walks past Thomas and down his steps and hears Thomas say "I promise I'll bring him home before it's too late" to his mom before he gets in the car and waits in the passenger seat for Thomas to join him. He does eventually, and before Thomas can start the car up, Newt looks over to him. 

"Where are we going?"

"You'll see."

 

 

 

As they drive, Newt is starting to feel a bit disappointed by the silence. They used to talk for hours on end, and their silence was a constant reminder of what they currently were. He wants to say something but he doesn't know what there is to say, so he waits for the car to stop and it does - in the parking lot at the beach. 

Being in the parking lot brought about a feeling of nostalgia within Newt, even though the bonfire was only a few weeks ago. And when Newt thinks about that night, his heart feels heavy with the memories. 

Newt can't help but wonder why Thomas chose the beach out of all of the places he could have chosen, especially since it was the middle of the night. He doesn't turn off the car when he parks it, and he leaves it on so the headlights of his car continue to blare in the dark. 

"Thomas, why are we here?" Newt asks suddenly.

Thomas takes a deep breath in and exhales before turning to Newt and maintaining their eye contact. "I've been thinking about what you said the other night - about figuring myself out?"

Newt nods and waits for him continue. 

"I think I have."

Those four words barely have any significance to them, but Newt still feels his gut set on fire. He still doesn't say anything because he wants Thomas to finish before he speaks. 

"But before I tell you about that, I want you to know that not talking to you was honestly starting to tear me apart. Not spending time with you made me realize how much I really need you and I know that now because of how much it hurt to be apart from you. And I feel like such an idiot because this is all my fault. I let Gally get to me like the idiot I am and now we're barely speaking to each other."

His voice is wavering subtlely and Thomas pauses for a moment before he continues. 

"I can't handle that anymore. I can't handle not talking to you, Newt. You mean the world to me and I want to spend all of my seconds and minutes and hours and everything in between talking to you and holding you and just _being_ with you."

Thomas' words are full of emotion, and as each one passes, it only seems to increase. Newt is completely taken aback in shock by his words, and he honestly feels his eyes glisten as he listens. 

"And I don't care what anyone thinks about that anymore. I don't care if they know that I'm gay and I don't care how they feel about us being together because they don't matter. Their opinions don't fucking matter to me. Nothing else matters to me but you Newt, and I love you so fucking much."

The tears finally fall down Newt's cheeks and his breath catches in his throat when he hears Thomas say those words, those three words he never knew would practically kill him. He doesn't think there is another feeling in the world that compares to how he feels now, but all he knows is that he's falling apart faster than he can mend himself. It hurts to hear Thomas say those words but it hurts so good and Newt wants to live off of that feeling he gets from those words for the rest of his life. 

"I love everything about you. I love your smile and your rosy cheeks and how smart you are, even if I do get a little bit jealous of it sometimes," Thomas says, and Newts laughs softly. "I love how cute you look when you wear your glasses and the way you laugh and I can't think of anything not to love about you because you're fucking perfect. I'm so in love with you and I'm so sorry it took days of us not talking to each other for me to realize."

Thomas has gentle tears streaming down his cheeks as he says those words as well, and Newt just wants to kiss him. That's all he wants to do - but first, he says:

"I love you too, Tommy."

He leans in quickly and smashes their lips together, and his heart finally feels at peace when they connect. It was like their first kiss all over again, every single nerve he had felt that night was present again, but there was something so different about this kiss. It seemed as if fate had been sealed once their lips had touched, and Newt didn't mind. He never minded when Thomas was involved. 

Newt uses his hands to cup Thomas' cheeks that were damp with tears and he tries to pull them impossibly closer, but it doesn't work physically. Mentally, on the other hand, they were in an entirely different solar system that only held the two of them. 

Their lips are molded together perfectly, just like their fingers always felt once they were laced, and they're kissing each other desperately as if it was the last chance they would ever get to taste the others lips. Newt never wants to pull away, but his heart rate begins to double as he starts to run out of air. He already lacked some because Thomas had taken his breath away with his words, and kissing him was only making it worse. 

Once they pull away, Thomas bring Newt into a tight embrace, and Newt rests his head in the crook of his neck, holding Thomas just as tight as he was holding him. 

"I missed you so much," he mumbles into Thomas' neck, feeling his tears resurface. Thomas only holds him tighter. 

"I missed you too, baby."

It's like that for a while - Newt and Thomas are holding each other and they don't say much to each other while they do. Enough has seemed to be said, any nothing was nothing else left to say. They preferred to sit in each other's arm because it had been too long since they last spent time together, and this was their way of making up for it. 

Thomas uses the back of his hand to wipe Newt's tears away after they release their arms from around each other and Newt sniffles as he looks at him, his heart swelling. Then a sudden thought crosses his mind. 

"Weren't you supposed to be at homecoming?" Newt asks. "I mean you don't just wear a suit and ties for fun."

Thomas chuckles breathily. "Yeah, but it was pointless. The only thing that was on my mind was you, anyway. I couldn't do anything without being reminded of you and how I wished you were there. Which reminds me - I hope I didn't miss my chance to dance with you."

"Of course not. How about you put on CD and we dance right now?" Newt suggests with a smile, and Thomas smiles back. 

"Good idea."

He chooses from one of the many CD's he kept in his car and puts it into the CD player with the volume up and the windows down while Newt steps out of the car and waits for him. It's a bit cold, but once Thomas wraps his arms around him, he starts to feel better. 

The headlights of Thomas' car was the only source of light they had, and it illuminated every step they took. Newt had his arms wrapped around Thomas' neck while Thomas had his hands placed on Newt's tiny hips, and they moved from side to side in rhythm with the soft music that Thomas had chosen. 

It was perfect to Newt, and the sound of the waves crashing in the background only made it better. 

He doesn't have a care in the world now that things are back to the way they were, and Newt couldn't ask for more because this was all he wanted after all. 

"You know what, Newt?"

"What?"

"From now on, no more pretending."


	18. Chapter 18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I made a [tumblr](http://sesquipedaliaa.tumblr.com/) at like 3 am the other night :) If you want, you can leave your tumblr usernames in the comments so I can follow you guys. I'll be taking prompts on there as well if you're interested.
> 
> ALSO, huge thanks to my [beta](http://afoolishfigment.tumblr.com/), you're amazing!

The days following the night Thomas had told Newt he loved him had been some of the best Newt had ever had in his entire life. He never knew what it meant to truly be happy until Thomas said those three words to him, and he knew there would never be another feeling in the world that would compare to how he felt now.

He felt safe and secure by the words, feeling at ease knowing that Thomas actually felt that way about him. Their relationship was beginning to make Newt feel like he was constantly in a dream because this was exactly what he had always wanted, and he never thought it would ever be possible to be with someone like Thomas. Now that he officially was with Thomas, Newt didn't think there was anything in the world he could ask for that would make him happier than Thomas. Thomas was the reason Newt would wake up with a smile on his face.

Everyday, Newt seemed to fall even harder for Thomas, even though it seemed impossible in Newts mind because he was already head over heels in love with him. Every minute they spent together, Newt would find yet another thing to love about him. And every time he thought he had found everything there was to love about him, he found another. Thomas was perfect.

They go back to talking on the phone until the late hours of the night almost immediately, and Newt doesn't realize just how much he missed staying up to talk to Thomas until then. Their conversations were sweet and aimless because they would hang on the edge of slumber for hours on end. Newt always looked forward to moments like that, and he loved hearing the low rumble of Thomas' voice whenever he was tired. It never failed to send tingles throughout every vein in his body whenever he heard it.

At school, the boys refrain from making it too obvious that they are actually together, and Thomas makes a point of talking to Newt more, even when there are other people around them. He continues to smile at Newt in the hallways like he used to do, and sometimes they even sit together during class. Whenever they got the chance to sit next to each other during English, Thomas would lean over and whisper sweet nothings to Newt while being as subtle as possible. When Mrs. Patterson notices this, she smiles at the sight because she knows that Newt had managed to put Thomas underneath his spell; just by the way Thomas would look at him.

During lunch, Newt would sit next to Thomas and his friends. Thomas had reached out to Newt when he noticed the blond heading to a table by himself, and from then on, Thomas’ table became Newt’s regular seat. Because Winston would sit next to Zart, who was also in the school band, Newt didn’t feel too horrible about changing his seat. But he would still feel guilty whenever he caught Winston looking in his direction on certain occasions, and he hoped their almost kiss had not put an end to their friendship entirely.

With an exception of Gally, Newt actually liked Thomas' friends - especially Minho and Alby. Minho was fun to be around, and Newt found it hilarious whenever he would bother Brenda in order to get her attention.  She always pretended to be uninterested in him, but it was obvious that Minho knew how to make the girl smile, even if it was faint. Newt and Thomas both knew it wouldn't be a very long time until the pair would become official, and they both secretly couldn't wait for the moment finally happen.

Alby, on the other hand, was probably one of the nicest people Newt had ever met. He seemed to be the complete opposite of the other typical football players, and Newt liked that. It also didn’t hurt that Alby made him part of the table’s conversations. Easily, Newt considered Alby a friend because of how honest and genuine the boy was.

Newt's favorite part of lunch was when Thomas would intertwine their fingers underneath the table. It was subtle enough for no one else to see but completely satisfying enough for Newt to feel like Thomas was making small steps in making sure that Newt was aware he was telling the truth that night on the beach. Thomas had truly meant it when he had said he no longer cared if anyone knew about them being together. While it was a small gesture of affection, it was also one of reassurance, and it made Newt's heart flutter within his chest.

Because midterms were coming up, Newt and Thomas decided to meet in the library after school for some more tutoring. Quite some time has passed since the last time the pair had decided to study, and the eight weeks of tutoring were about to come to an end. So the boys had decided to get in as much information as possible to make sure Thomas passed.

Just as Newt had rested his bag down on the chair he always sat in, a pair of warm hands covered his eyes and leaned close to his ear to whisper,

"Guess who?"

Newt smiled and brought his hands up to remove the others' from his face. When he turned around, he found Thomas looking at him with his usual bright grin.

"Hey,"

"Hey," Thomas responds, and his grin grows wider.

Without checking to see if anyone else was around in the library, Thomas places his hands on Newt's hips and pulls him close so that their bodies are against each other, and he places a tender kiss on Newt's lips. Newt feels his entire body start to tremble as he melts from the kiss.

Every kiss they shared never failed to make Newt's heart beat a million miles per hour, and even if they had shared more than Newt could count, he always felt his breath catch in his throat. Thomas always had that effect on him.

Tightening his grip on Newt's waist, Thomas hums against his lips before he parts his own, using his tongue to brush Newt's bottom lip. But Newt pulls away at this with a small gasp. He didn’t want to put an end to their kiss, but the library was a little too public for their of display and they had come here for a reason. But Thomas didn’t seem to worry as he moved to start kissing Newt's jaw line instead, pulling Newt even closer so that the front of their chests were pressed together.

Brushing his lips against Newt's neck, Thomas lets his breath hit the boys’ skin for a few seconds before he places a soft and gentle kiss on Newt’s neck. Newt swallows, his stomach erupting in butterflies. He lets out a small gasp of pleasure out into the open as he feels himself getting lost in the feeling of Thomas and his soft lips. He knows his cheeks are probably red from embarrassment due to their body contact and because the front of his jeans tightening from excitement just from the small peck that Thomas had placed on his neck.

"Thomas," Newt tries to say as a moan threatens to escape.

"Hmm?" Thomas mumbles against Newt's neck, causing Newt to sigh.

"Um we should," he says nervously, "we should start.”

"Come on, babe," he replies, pulling away to look at Newt. When he sees that his boyfriend’s entire face is red, he chuckles softly.

"You look so cute when you blush, Rosy," he teases, and Newt hits him playfully on his arm.

"I hate you."

"You love me," Thomas says with a smile and Newt grins back. He can’t help but look away when Thomas' golden brown eyes become too much for him to handle and he plays with the sleeves of his own shirt.

"We should start," he repeats in a whisper and Thomas smiles even wider at how cute he is.

Sitting down in their usual seats, Thomas takes out his books and they finally start their review. As usual, Newt starts off with explaining a topic and he gives Thomas a problem to complete after he thinks he’s ready. When Thomas finishes the problem, he slides the paper over to Newt for him to check over his work. Newt can’t help but smile when he realizes that all of the problems were right on the first try.

"You're getting better at this. Are you sure you still need me as your tutor?"

"Is that even a question?" Thomas jokes. "Of course I do. I might need some help in Science too. And History. Maybe even gym. You should probably just tutor me in every subject."

"Very funny," he giggles. "You know, I was only supposed to tutor you for eight weeks. I'm pretty sure those eight weeks are just about over."

"They are. But I don't want you to stop tutoring me. I like hearing you talk all smart like to me. It's pretty attractive."

"Hearing about Math is attractive?"

"If it's coming from you it is. Everything you do is attractive."

Newt rolls his eyes with a smile. He scribbles another problem for Thomas to do before handing the paper to him and Thomas does it quickly without much hesitation.

"Newt?" Thomas asks and Newt looks over to him.

"Yeah?"

"I'm not taking you away from your other friends, am I? I know we spend a lot of time together and I haven’t seen you with that boy you’re usually with. What's his name again?"

"Winston?"

Thomas nods. "Yeah. Winston."

Newt’s grin turns into a frown when he realizes that Thomas thought it was his fault that they no longer speaking. "No, it's not your fault. We're just not exactly on speaking terms right now."

"Did you guys get into a fight or something?"

Newt shakes his head. "No."

"Then what happened babe?"

Not really knowing how to respond to Thomas’ question, Newt lets out a small sigh instead. He didn’t want to tell Thomas about what had happened between him and Winston after the game. Newt was aware that he had to tell him at some point, but their day was going so well, and he didn’t want to ruin it because everything was finally starting to get better. He would, but just not yet.

"Nothing."  

Newt can tell from Thomas’ face that he doesn’t believe him at all. "It's fine if you don't want to tell me. But was it really that bad?"

"It's not that," Newt says taking a small gulp. "It doesn't matter, anyway. Let's just forget about it for now, okay?"

Thomas nods understandingly and doesn't bring him or the situation up again. He’s not upset with Newt for not telling him about the situation, and Newt sighs in relief as they continue to work as if the question wasn’t even brought up.

They only stay in the library for about an hour or so before they begin to pack their bags up to leave. The only other people in the school were a few teachers and the janitors so Thomas holds Newt’s hand as they walk through the school and to his car without much reluctance.

As Thomas is driving, he glances at Newt for a moment before turning his attention back to the road as he begins to speak.

"So I was thinking earlier, and I realized that we haven't had a real date together. You know, just the two of us? And my dad's going out of town this weekend so I was wondering if you wanted to…well maybe,” Thomas pauses to look over at Newt and he smiles at him. “…come over for dinner? I could cook for you, and we can watch movies and cuddle afterward without any interruptions? Does that sound good to you?"

"That sounds lovely. I just hope you don't kill me with your cooking, though."

Thomas chuckles. "I'll have you know I'm a master when it comes to cooking."

"Sure you are, just like you’re ‘the genius of all geniuses’ as you say."

"You really don't believe me?"

"Not one bit," Newt laughs and Thomas raises his eyebrows at him.  

"Alright fine. Just wait until you come over. I promise I'll blow you away with how amazing it is."

"We'll just have to wait and see I guess."

Thomas brings his car to a stop in front of Newt's house and Newt leans over to peck Thomas’ lips before getting out and closing the car door behind him.

While he walks to his front door, Thomas rolls down his window and leans his arm on the belt molding.

"Tell your parents I said hi, okay?" he calls out as Newt opens his front door, and Newt nods, giving Thomas one last smile and a wave goodbye before he enters his house.


	19. Chapter 19

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the long wait. I've been super busy these past two weeks and I had a lot of work to do. But, thankfully, the chapter is here now!
> 
> X

If there was one thing that Newt was more excited about than anything else, it was being able to finally spend some alone time with Thomas. And by alone, he meant _alone_. There would be no football players or cheerleaders around or in the way to distract them from each other. This time, it would just be Newt and Thomas enjoying each other's company, getting as intimate with each other as they possibly could with no interruptions whatsoever. And Newt couldn't wait for it. 

He had spent the entire week anticipating the arrival of the weekend, and when it finally arrived, he could not contain his excitement. Newt practically jumped out of bed with the most embarrassing smile on his face that morning, and it took him almost twenty minutes to calm down, but even by then, he still felt his entire body filling with nerves from how anxious he was to see Thomas again. And although they had spent all of the previous night together, that still didn't change how much Newt looked forward to seeing him. 

Newt took his time in getting ready, spending almost a half hour in the shower before he rummaged through his entire closet in order to find the perfect outfit. To make sure he looked his absolute best, Newt stood in front of the mirror and checked his appearance over a thousand times, running his fingers through his hair and using his hands to flatten out his clothes. When he decided that he looked good enough, he grabbed his phone and walked out of his room.

Thomas was too busy cooking and getting his house together for their date to pick him up, so Newt asks his mom to drop him off, and she agrees to. However, Newt regrets asking her as soon as they start driving because she floods him with embarrassing questions that he really did not want to answer. 

"So," Newt's mom says, glancing at him. "How close are you and Tom?"

"I guess we're pretty close. Why?"

"Well, you two are going to be all alone in his house, right? I just want to make sure that you two are safe when you-"

"Mum," Newt interrupts before she can finish. "I hope you aren't talking about what I think you're talking about."

"I mean you're old enough for us to have this conversation, Newton. Plus, you'll be going off to university soon doing god knows what, so it's better to have this conversation now."

" _Or_ ," he says, "maybe we can, you know, skip this conversation? That sounds lovely, doesn't it?"

"Like I said, I just want you to be safe," Newt's mom says. "And if you need any condoms, just let me know."

"Oh god," Newt groans. "Can you stop the car? I think I'll walk from here."

Newt's mom chuckles. "Don't be silly. We're almost there anyway."

He can't wait for the car ride to be over, but it seems to drag on for as long as possible and he's not sure if he can handle sitting in the car for any longer. He ignores his mom's questions throughout the rest of the drive, and when the car finally comes to a stop, Newt sighs in relief and mutters a small goodbye to his mom before he jumps out as quickly as he could in an attempt to prevent any further humiliation. 

He walks up to Thomas door and rings his doorbell, fixing his hair and his clothes once again as he waits for him to answer the door. And he knows his mom is still parked in front of Thomas' house, but he pretends like he doesn't notice with hopes that she would leave on her own. However, she stays put and Newt hopes Thomas doesn't notice her when he comes to the door. 

Eventually, Thomas opens the front door with a smile and Newt smiles back at him. He can already smell dinner from where he stands, and he's eager to know what Thomas had cooked for him because he refused to tell him whenever he asked. Thomas claimed he wanted it to be a surprise, but Newt hated surprises with a passion. He would rather know than wait to find out, but Thomas gave him no choice as he avoided Newt's questions whenever he asked. 

"You're just on time. Come in."

Newt walks into Thomas' house and is automatically fascinated by how comfortable he feels as soon as he enters it. It brought about a sense of home, and it came second to the feeling Newt got whenever Thomas put his arms around him. That was the closest he ever got to feeling like he was back at home, and it made him realize that maybe, just maybe, Thomas was his new home. 

"Is that your mom?" Thomas asks as he still stands at the door. 

"Yeah. But you can just pretend like she's not there."

Thomas chuckles. "Why would I do that?"

He waves at her with a big smile and Newt hears her beep the horn of the car before she finally pulls off and Thomas closes the front door. Newt always wondered why his mom and Thomas liked each other so much, but he also considered that it might not be a bad thing. Maybe it was a sign; a good sign of something that Newt was not yet aware of. 

"So what are you cooking for me? It smells really good."

"You'll see," Thomas grins. "It's just about ready, so I'll show you to the dining room." 

Thomas offers his hand for Newt to take, and Newt takes it with a smile. He makes sure to take in every detail of Thomas' house as they walk to the dining room, and he notices a lot of pictures on the walls, but he chooses not to ask questions about them yet.

When they enter the dining room, Newt's smile gets impossibly wider. The room was dimly lit with the flames of simmering candles and the table was set up with a white table cloth and white china to match. Also, there was a small vase of red roses in the middle of the table to top it off. Everything was absolutely _perfect_. 

"Tommy," Newt coos. 

"Do you like it?"

"Like it? I love it. This is the sweetest thing anyone's ever done for me."

And Thomas smiles at that. "I'm glad you love it."

He pulls out a chair for Newt to sit in and after Newt sits down, he pushes the chair in like a gentleman. "I'll be right back, okay?"

Newt nods and Thomas leans down to peck his cheek. As he leaves, he picks up two of the plates to presumably put the food on them and Newt waits a few moments for him to come back. 

After a few minutes, he does and he places a plate in front of Newt before he places the other across the table where he would sit. It smells delicious and looks delicious, and Newt’s mouth waters as he looks down at his plate.

"Bloody hell," Newt cusses, and Thomas chuckles. 

"It's fettuccine alfredo primavera. I figured you liked Italian food since lasagna is your favorite, so this is what I went with," Thomas responds as he takes a seat across from Newt. 

"You know me so well." 

Newt picks up the fork that sat beside his plate and immediately starts digging in, wrapping some pasta around the fork before shoving the food into his mouth. He moans as his taste buds practically melt with how good it is, and he waits until he chews his food completely to compliment it because he knows his mom would scold him if she was there. 

"This is so good."

"And you didn't believe me when I said I could cook," Thomas smirks, taking a bite of his own.

"No offense but you don't look like someone who can cook. You look like someone that would burn rice."

"Thanks babe. That means a lot," Thomas jokes sarcastically.

"It's true! But then again, you don't look like someone who paints either, so maybe I shouldn't judge a book by its cover. And that reminds me - can you show me your paintings after we finish dinner? I've been curious about them since the bonfire."

"Yeah sure," he smiles. "It's actually really nice knowing that you care about them since no one else does."

"Well I care about everything you do, and whatever is important to you is important to me."

There aren't many words to describe the way Thomas looks at Newt when he says this, but grateful is one of the only words that Newt can think of. He seems as if he appreciates Newt for supporting him, and Newt is glad to be there for him.

"Sometimes I wonder why I ever got so lucky to have you," Thomas says and Newt's heart flutters in response. 

"I wonder the same thing about you." 

 

 

 

 

 

"I think I painted this one in freshman year," Thomas says, picking up a canvas and handing it to Newt. 

They're sitting in his room with a collection of Thomas' paintings scattered over the floor and Newt is still amazed by how beautiful his paintings are. He never imagined Thomas being so skilled with a paintbrush, and seeing his work only reassured Newt that Thomas needed to major in art when he went off to college.  

"This is absolutely stunning, Thomas," Newt practically whispers. "Is this supposed to be Venice? It looks like the Grand Canal."

Thomas nods. "I really wanted to go there. I still do, actually."

"Me too," Newt beams. "Maybe we should go there one day."

"Maybe we should."

They smile at each other momentarily before Newt turns his attention back to the painting that sat in front of him. "I still cannot believe you painted this. How long did it take?"

"Almost a week. But I think it was worth it."

"I think so, too."

Newt and Thomas spend quite some talking about his paintings, and Newt's fascination fails to die down as he views each and every canvas there is to look at. After viewing every single painting, Newt is positive that he can add yet another thing to the list of reasons why Thomas is so perfect along with his cooking. And he can't help but wonder yet again why he ever got the chance to be with Thomas because of how amazing he is. 

They put his paintings back where they were after they stand up, which was at the very back of his closet (because his dad didn't like seeing them), and afterward, Thomas puts on a movie like he promised he would while Newt climbs into his bed and gets comfortable in it. Thomas' sheets smell just like his cologne that Newt loves so much and Newt feels tingles all over his body as he inhales the scent of him - the scent of _home_. 

Thomas crawls into bed when the movie starts playing, wrapping his arms securely around Newt as Newt nuzzles his head into his neck. Throughout the movie, Thomas delicately combs his fingers through Newt's hair, and it makes Newt feel at ease. He almost falls asleep with how gentle his touch is, but he manages to stay awake as the movie continues to play.  

He's barely paying attention to the movie because, as usual, Thomas serves as his distraction. After he stopped playing with Newt's hair, he started dragging his the tips of his fingers along the exposed skin of Newt's arms and his sides. As he does this, Newt makes sure to breathe in and out carefully because he doesn't want Thomas to know that his touch that was so simple and so innocent was making it difficult for him to inhale properly. Even though they spent so much time together, Thomas never failed to have that effect on him.

Halfway through the movie, Thomas drags his fingers over Newt's lips and Newt looks at him immediately. He's staring at Newt's mouth with his big brown eyes and he puts his finger underneath Newt's chin, lifting it and bringing Newt's lips closer to his. 

"I hope you know that by cuddling, I meant making out," Thomas says and Newt chortles before he closes the gap between them. 

At first, their lips move together at a slow and relaxed pace, and it is evident that Newt and Thomas were in no rush. But when Newt parts his lips to let Thomas' tongue in between them, things start to quicken slowly but surely.

Thomas' lips are unbelievably warm, but his tongue is even warmer, and it makes Newt shiver as Thomas swirls them together. He still isn't exactly sure how to make out, so he follows Thomas' lead as they kiss. However, it becomes difficult for Newt to keep up with him as the kiss starts to get heavier. 

As Thomas kisses him, he starts to lean over Newt so that Newt lays on his back while he gets on top of him and settles between his legs. By this moment, Newt is trying to stop himself from panicking mentally but it seems impossible because he has no idea of what to do. He really doesn't want to make a fool out of himself by doing something wrong and messing everything up, but at the same time, he wants to do something.

He wants to make a move - a bold move that would catch Thomas by surprise, but he has no idea what it would be and how he would do it. So for now, he decides to play along with Thomas for as long as he could. 

Things are going well so far. They had gone a long time without Newt embarrassing himself, and he hopes that things would stay that way, but his hopes of that are diminished as soon as he notices the ache in the front of his jeans. His stupid adolescent hormones were acting up at the worst possible time.

Thomas only makes it worse when he brushes their hips together seemingly by accident, causing Newt to moan pathetically into his mouth. Thomas pulls away almost immediately, looking at Newt with concern. 

"Is something wrong?" he asks and Newt shakes his head. He wants to hide his face in his hands because he knows he's blushing, but he can't because of how close he and Thomas are. 

"Then what happened? Is this too much? Because we can stop if you want to."

"No it's not that, I just-" Newt whines. "This is so embarrassing, Tommy."

"Just tell me, baby. You know I won't judge you."

Newt sighs."You know that thing you get? When you're excited?" he tries to say as subtly as possible. Thomas looks confused as he says this, but realization plasters across his face and a smirk plasters across his lips before rolls off of Newt and starts to laugh. Newt hits him. 

"It's not funny!" he complains.

But Thomas continues to laugh and Newt pouts. His laughter is not helping his severe case of embarrassment, and he's sure that his face is turning into an even darker shade of red.

"This is what I get for being a bloody virgin," Newt mumbles, but Thomas still hears him anyway. 

"It's not like it's a bad thing."

"Easy for you to say. You probably lost yours already I mean come on. You're Thomas."

Thomas looks slightly offended. "What is that supposed to mean?"

"I didn't mean it like that. It's just that you're a really attractive football player that's been in an actual relationship before. I don't know if you realized this but you're my first boyfriend, and I've never gotten to first base with anyone before. This is new to me."

"You're my first boyfriend too," Thomas chuckles. "And I am a virgin just so you know. You shouldn't be embarrassed about that - especially not around me. I would never judge you."

"You just laughed at me," Newt points out. 

"But I wasn't judging you. I mean I get it. It happens sometimes. It's no big deal."

"I guess," Newt says, sighing again.

The credits of the movie begin to roll on the screen and Newt realizes that he doesn't remember anything that happened throughout it. He was too distracted the entire time. 

"Do you want to watch another movie?" Thomas asks. "Like actually this time? Without making out?"

Newt nods with a small laugh. "Sure."

 


	20. Chapter 20

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fun fact - I left the country for the first time three weeks ago! But ever since then, I've been super busy and dismal for not being able to post a new chapter. On the bright side, at least there's one now :)
> 
> X

Because midterms were at the end of the week, Newt and Thomas have spent all of their free time studying like their lives depended on it. They would spend hours on end reviewing every bit of information they covered over the course of time, and although it was exhausting, it was necessary to make sure Thomas passed this test. Not only would it determine whether or not Thomas passed this semester, but it would also determine whether or not Mr. Morris would make him retake Geometry. _Again._

So maybe Thomas didn't have the best luck when it came to math. Regardless of this, however, Newt still had faith in Thomas. He had no doubts about Thomas being able to pass the exam, but he still spent hours reviewing with him just to make sure he did. It never hurts to be safe, right?

As usual, Newt and Thomas decided that they would meet in the library after school to study. They had attempted to study at Newt's house earlier in the week, but Newt decided it wouldn't work, mainly because it was considerably difficult to focus when his mom would try her absolute best in order to embarrass him. Or, at least, that's what Newt believed she was doing. 

Even if she wasn't doing it on purpose, she always succeeded in embarrassing Newt, and it only seemed to get worse once Thomas was around, so Newt settled on going back to the library. Thomas, on the other hand, actually preferred studying at Newt's house. This was probably because they did less work while they were at his house, but it could also be because of Newt's mom. For some reason, Newt's mom and Thomas get along like they've known each other for years, and if Newt were to think about it, they were practically best friends. Newt spent a lot of time wondering whether or not that was a bad thing.

After the final bell rings when school is finally over, Newt stands up and swings his bag over his shoulder, walking over to his locker so he could fetch a few books and papers before meeting up with Thomas. He uses one arm to press the books against his chest while he closes his locker with his other hand, and he starts heading over to the library. 

While Newt is walking, he notices Gally with a few guys that he recognizes from the football team, and all he wants to do is turn around to walk in a different direction so he could avoid him. He knew that Gally would approach him now that Thomas wasn't by his side, as that was the only time he could get away with it. If Thomas was around, he would immediately jump to Newt's defense, and that's why Gally had generally stopped bothering Newt - Thomas was always where Newt was. But whenever Gally caught Newt by himself, he always jumped at the opportunity to embarrass him.

He's hoping he can walk past him without being noticed, but even as he keeps his head down, Gally still notices him, and unsurprisingly, he shoves Newt's books out of his hands as he passes him, causing them to scatter all over the floor along with a few papers.

Gally laughs obnoxiously with his friends as the papers hit the floor, and Newt sighs in response, refusing to say anything or do anything to defend himself. He always insisted on staying quiet when Gally bothered him, even if it was extremely irritating, because there was nothing he could do anyway. His best bet was to just stay silent.

Newt gets down on his knees to grab his things, and he reaches over to pick them up one by one, pressing them back to his chest securely. As he picks up his stuff, he sees someone bend down to pick up a few of his papers out of the corner of his eye, and without lifting his gaze, he says:

"It's alright, mate. I've got it."

But the person keeps picking up the rest of his things, and when Newt finally looks up, he notices that this person is Winston, and he hates to admit that he's flummoxed at the sight of him. Yet at the same time, seeing Winston makes his heart flutter. Sure they had glanced at each other around school a few times over the past few weeks, but they never spoke to each other. Being near Winston again made Newt realize just how much he actually missed him. He was his best friend after all.

Newt is practically staring at Winston as he picks up the last of his things, standing up slowly as he watches him carefully. Winston finally meets his gaze as he hands Newt his papers, and Newt takes them, refusing to pull away from his gaze. 

"Thanks," he says gently, and his voice resembles that of a whisper. Winston gives Newt a sad smile, shoving his hands into the pockets of his jeans. To Newt's surprise, the air around them is not as awkward as he expects it to be, considering this was the first time he had spoken to him since the football game. However, Newt could still feel a hint of tension lingering between them. 

"It's been a while," Winston points out. "How are you?"

"Good. You?" Newt asks. He feels obligated to return the question out of respect. 

Winston shrugs. "I'm okay, I guess."

Newt nods and looks away from him, staring down at the floor instead. He pushes his glasses further up the bridge of his nose while Winston keeps his eyes on him, studying him gingerly. They don't say anything to each other for a few seconds and Newt suddenly fears the air between them would become unbearably awkward, so he makes a move in order to put an end to the barely existent conversation. 

"I should go."

"Wait," Winston stops Newt, putting his hand on his arm. "Can I talk to you for a second? I know we haven't been on speaking terms lately but there's something I need to say to you," Winston says nervously.

It's clear what he wants to talk to Newt about, but quite frankly, Newt isn't too sure he wants to talk about it. He had spent quite some time avoiding the situation and pushing it to the back of his mind, and now that it's resurfacing, he wants to shove it even further so that he could forget it completely.  

However, the desperate look in Winston's eyes makes Newt want to say that he isn't busy - it makes him want to say that he has time to talk to him because a small part of him is interested in what Winston has to say to him, but he can't ditch Thomas. Especially not now when they have important things to do. 

"I'm sorry but I can't. I have somewhere to be."

"Is it important?"

"If you count tutoring for midterms as being important then I suppose so. It's just that Thomas is waiting for me and I shouldn't be late."

Winston sighs, and his face even falls at the mentioning of Thomas' name. "I should've guessed it had something to do with him. You two are always together."

His tone is laced with annoyance, and it's obvious that he's jealous of the time that Newt and Thomas spend together, but this doesn't come as a surprise to Newt. Even when he first started tutoring Thomas, Winston always seemed bothered by this, and now it makes complete sense.

"I don't get it, Newt. He's such a prick."

Newt frowns at Winston's remark. It's not the first time he's insulted Thomas, but it's different now. Newt and Thomas' relationship has changed drastically since the last time Newt spoke to Winston, and his relationship with Winston changed drastically as well.  "He's not a prick," Newt says defensively, and Winston hums. 

"Of course you'd say that. You're practically in love with him," Winston accuses in a mocking manner and truthfully, Newt can't deny his words. "Why do you like him, anyway?"

"He's not as bad as you think he is, Winston. He's actually a really good person who's kind and sweet and funny and-" Newt has to stop himself before he says too much. He knows he could create a perpetual list of things he loved about Thomas, but Winston doesn't need to hear it. "I don't know. He's good company, I guess." 

"Seems like you enjoy his company more than you should," Winston says skeptically. "As crazy as this sounds, I just hope you aren't falling for him because that's what it sounds like."

And Newt casts his eyes away from Winston after his words pass. Newt is not entirely sure of what to say and he suddenly feels overwhelmed with nerves, causing his heart to beat faster within his chest. 

"I um-" Newt mutters. "I have to go."

"Whatever. Have fun tutoring your idiot."

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Newt can't stop replaying his conversation with Winston as he walks to the library, and he can't help but wonder why Winston believed he was falling for Thomas. Was he that obvious? 

It didn't make much sense to Newt, and even as he put as much thought into it as he possibly could, he still couldn't muster an idea of where this accusation was coming from. He's aware that he had to catch himself from saying too much about Thomas, but did he said enough for Winston to believe that in the first place?

It had to be something else. Newt knows it.

Once Newt walks into the library, he see's Thomas sitting in their usual spot with his elbow on the table and his chin resting in the palm of his hand. He looks rather bored, but once he sees Newt, his eyes light up and a smile immediately spreads across his face. His warm smile temporarily brightens Newt's mood that had turned partially sour from Winston and Gally.

"Finally," Thomas says as Newt takes a seat beside him and rests his books on the table, and he leans over to press a kiss on Newt's cheek. "What took you so long?"

"Nothing, sorry. I just...ran into someone."

"That doesn't sound like nothing," Thomas chuckles. "Who was it?"

For some reason, thinking about Winston while Thomas was around made Newt feel extremely guilty. He knows it's because of his subconscious that's reminding him of the night of the football game and how he still hasn't told Thomas. But, along with that, his mom's voice is ringing in his head, telling him he should tell Thomas for 'good measure'. Yet he was still telling himself not to, and he hated it. 

"Winston."

"Winston?" Thomas questions, raising an eyebrow at Newt. "I thought you don't speak to each other anymore?"

"We don't," Newt replies, looking away from Thomas. "But it's nothing, really. Maybe we should just start?" Newt suggests, trying to avoid the subject. He starts making a list of problems to complete and he can feel Thomas' eyes on him as he does, but he refrains from looking in his direction.

"Are you sure it's nothing?"

"Positive," he responds, handing the paper to Thomas for him to complete. He answers these problems quickly and effortlessly before sliding the paper over to Newt, and this starts a process that they were getting far too familiar with. 

There are barely any words being exchanged between the two them as they pass the papers back and forth, and this silence only allows Newt to be left with his thoughts, which is not a good thing, necessarily. Newt has a habit of overthinking, and whenever he's left to his thoughts for too long, he begins to question everything.

As of now, Winston and Thomas are the two things that are plaguing his mind, and they're all he's capable of thinking about. He can't stop thinking about Winston's words and worst of all, he can't stop thinking about how Thomas would react if he found out about what happened between him and Winston. Newt feels like he has to tell him because it's wrong of him to hide something like that from his boyfriend, but he doesn't know how to. And, more importantly, he doesn't want to. 

He doesn't want to see the look on Thomas' face if he finds out about how long Newt's been keeping this from him, and he doesn't want Thomas to be angry with him because of this either. Truth be told, Newt is torn. 

It's possible that Newt is just overreacting. It's not like Winston had actually kissed him - he only tried to, and Newt stopped him before he could. That has to count for something, right? Surely, Thomas would understand. 

"Newt?" Thomas calls, and Newt snaps out of his thoughts. "Okay, what's going on? There's obviously something you're not telling me, Newt, and it's obviously bothering you so tell me."

Newt sighs and doesn't respond.

"Hey - look at me," Thomas says softly, and when Newt doesn't, he puts his finger on Newt's chin and makes him look into his eyes. Newt doesn't think there will ever be a time where Thomas' eyes aren't his biggest weakness. "You know you can trust me, right?"

Newt nods. 

"Then why aren't you telling me?"

"Because," Newt says, "I don't want you to be upset with me, Tommy. Plus everything's been going so well lately, and I really don't want to mess everything up."

"It's physically impossible for you to mess everything up. You should know that by now," Thomas says in a reassuring tone, and this makes Newt feel a little more at ease, but it doesn't rid him of his anxiety. "I don't care how bad it is, baby. Just tell me."

"But-"

"No buts. I want you to be honest with me. No more pretending, remember?"

And as Newt looks into Thomas' eyes, he can feel himself cracking slowly. He doesn't think he can handle another moment of the guilt eating him alive, and now he feels like he has no choice but to tell Thomas. 

"It's okay, Newt. Say it."

So Newt inhales and exhales steadily in an attempt at calming himself down, and it works, but not entirely. He still finds the courage to start speaking, though. 

"After the football game a few weeks ago, Winston and I were walking back to his place but he stopped out of nowhere and he tried to kiss me-"

"What?"

"-and I know I should've told you sooner but I-"

"Why didn't you?"

Pausing briefly, Newt stops rambling to respond to Thomas' question. "I didn't want to cause any trouble. And plus I didn't think it mattered that much because I stopped him before he could."

The look on Thomas' face as Newt speaks is not as unpleasant as Newt expects it to be, yet he still feels a pang in his chest as he looks at him. Newt knows deep inside that Thomas is bothered by his words, even though his expression remains rigid and fixed, and once again, Newt is consumed with guilt. 

"I'm sorry," he apologizes. "I'll understand if you're upset with me."

"I'm not," Thomas says quietly.

"You're not? Are you sure?"

"I mean I am a little upset about you hiding it from me but it's not like it was your fault. And I can't stay mad at for long anyway, so it wouldn't matter even if I was."

A small smile threatens to spread across Newt's lips, and Thomas smirks at him. "I'm glad you told me, Newt. Thanks for being honest with me."

Compared to how Newt envisioned the situation, it went much better than anticipated, and Newt is overjoyed by how understanding Thomas is about the entire thing. He doesn't have much space to add this to the list of things he adores about Thomas, as the list already has too much to count, but he knows it's something he won't ever forget about him. 

"Now, we should finish studying. This midterm isn't going to pass itself, you know," Thomas jokes, and Newt laughs. 

"Only if you give me a kiss first."

Thomas gives Newt a wide smile before he leans over and pecks Newt's lips tenderly, letting the kiss linger for more than a few seconds. After this, they go right back to work, and Newt feels like a huge weight has been lifted off of his shoulder that allows him to breathe easily without guilt holding him back. The feeling was refreshing, and it was also refreshing knowing that Thomas wasn't upset with him.

But even though this anger might not be directed towards Newt himself, it was definitely directed towards someone else, and Newt could tell even as Thomas smiled at him. 


	21. Chapter 21

"Newt? Can you stay behind for a second?" Mr. Morris asks after the bell rings, signaling the end of the period. The other students of Newt's math class had already begun collecting their things and exiting the room, but Newt stays behind, and within a few moments, the classroom is completely empty with the exception of him and Mr. Morris.  

He's curious as to why Mr. Morris had asked him to stay behind in the first place, but once he sees Thomas entering the room, he's no longer confused. It was clear that he wanted to speak to the both of them about Thomas' grades, and even though Newt had complete faith in Thomas being able to pass, he still felt nervous about what he was going to hear. After all, Thomas' grade would determine whether or not he'd receive the scholarship he has worked so hard for, and it would be a shame if he lost it so close to graduation. 

Mr. Morris takes a seat behind his desk as Thomas steps further into the classroom, stopping beside Newt who stood in front of Mr. Morris' desk patiently, and they smile at each other briefly before turning their attention to Mr. Morris as he begins to speak. 

"I suppose you two are already aware of why you're here, yes?" he asks, leaning back in his chair, and Newt and Thomas nod their heads in silent synchronization. "Good. Anyway, I have news for the both of you." He starts rummaging through the pile of papers that sat on his desk in a disorderly fashion while the two boys watch without saying a word. 

"Which would you two like to hear first? Good or bad?"

Newt and Thomas turn to look at each other, and they share a momentary glance as if trying to decide which news they would prefer to hear first. Without verbally discussing this, they both turn back to Mr. Morris and say: "Bad," at the same exact time. 

"Well, bad news is your tutoring sessions are no longer necessary," he says, and Newt sighs in relief. There was a small part of him that was expecting to hear something much worse, and it was reassuring to hear that his news wasn't even bad after all. Well, not entirely, at least. "Good news is," Mr. Morris pauses, taking a packet out of the pile and placing it on his desk for Newt and Thomas to see, "you passed."

Newt looks down at the packet that sat on his desk, and he realizes that it was the midterm he had taken a few days prior. But he also realizes that Thomas had aced the exam, as there was huge A+ written on the paper with thick red ink.

"Congratulations," Mr. Morris says with a smile, and Newt can't help but smile as well, unable to contain his joy because of how proud he was of Thomas. Without putting much thought into it, Newt throws his arms around Thomas' neck in excitement, and Thomas hugs him back immediately, smiling into his neck as he lifts him off the ground for a brief moment, causing Newt to squeal in response. 

Their celebratory embrace does not last for long, however, as they both remember that Mr. Morris is still in the room, so they pull away from each other rather quickly, trying their hardest to make everything between them seem strictly platonic, even if the little moment they shared was still a bit questionable. 

Mr. Morris chuckles at both Newt and Thomas as they part, a small smile still residing on his lips as he folds his fingers and rests them in his lap. "I see you two have opened up to each other," he comments sarcastically, and Newt hopes he isn't blushing because of this. "Anyway, I just wanted you both to know that I'm proud of you. Especially you, Thomas, and I really hope to see more of this from you."

Thomas smiles at him gently after his words pass. 

"Alright you two - get to class," Mr. Morris finishes, and Newt and Thomas nod at him, saying goodbye before they start walking to their next class together, which just so happened to be Newt's _least_ favorite class. Gym was no longer as bad as it used to be because Newt was never alone anymore, and Thomas was always by his side along with Minho, so he sometimes Newt actually looked forward to going to gym. But that still didn't change the fact that Newt was far from athletic, and he still resented the act of running back and forth for a grade.

The only compensation for this was getting to see Thomas in nothing but his gym shorts and sneaking in small gestures of affection when no one was paying much attention to them. Other than that, gym was torturous, especially since Newt would have to spend an entire period being within 50 feet of Gally's presence. 

Even though Gally usually refrained from physically harassing Newt whenever Thomas was around, that didn't mean that he had stopped completely. He continued to send intimidating glares in Newt's direction, and he continued muttering insults under his breath so Newt could hear him, but only if he tried to. 

Regardless of this, gym was manageable and bearable enough for Newt to survive, but only because Thomas would remain by his side throughout the entire time.

Silence filled the hallways as Newt and Thomas walked to the locker rooms, as all of the other students were already in class, and as they walked side by side, their hands constantly brushed against each other, which made Newt want to hold Thomas' hand more than anything. He decides against it, however, even though there was no one around anyway. 

"You know," Thomas says suddenly. "I still don't understand what I did to deserve you."

"Tommy-"

"I mean it, Newt. You've done so much for me over these past few weeks and I wanna' thank you for that. It really means a lot."

"Well, I didn't have much of a choice," Newt jests. Partially, at least. 

"You know what I mean," Thomas laughs. "Either way - thank you. For everything."

 

 

 

 

 

By the time Newt and Thomas reach the locker rooms, the rest of the boys are still changing. But as they enter the room, their conversations come to a temporary halt and they all fall silent as they turn all of their attention to Newt and Thomas.  

Newt can feel Gally's heated gaze from where he stands, and he avoids his sharp eyes in an attempt to ignore it. He's successful in doing so until his gaze turns into a scoff, which later turns into a mutter.

"Look who finally showed up," he says mockingly under his breath as he pulls his shirt over his head. His words are supposed to be quiet, but both Newt and Thomas hear them. 

Instead of responding to Gally, Thomas rolls his eyes dismissively, walking over to his locker. This prompts Newt to start walking over to his own locker so he could begin changing since he and Thomas were late after all, and if they weren't dressed in their gym attire by the time Coach Sanders walked in, they wouldn't hear the end of his' complaints until class was over. 

Gally crosses his arms over his chest, looking over at Thomas with fire in his bright green eyes. He seems annoyed by the lack of Thomas' response, as he was used to getting some sort of reaction out of him. 

"So Thomas," Gally starts, "why were you and Newt late, exactly?"

Thomas doesn't say anything, so Gally continues speaking. "Wait, let me guess - you were jacking each other off in the bathroom, right?"

Some of the boys laugh at Gally's remark, and Newt is consumed with embarrassment because of this. Once again, he finds himself hoping that he isn't blushing. 

"Fuck off," Thomas finally counters, glaring at Gally. Gally smirks.

"Gladly. Quick question, though. Who takes it? You or Newt?"

Thomas slams his locker shut, and he's so close to storming over to Gally to aim his fist at his face, but he doesn't. He can't. Newt stops him before he gets the chance to. By this point, Newt knows Thomas better than he knows himself. He knows Thomas enough to realize that he was going to do something he probably shouldn't, and to make sure he didn't, Newt grabs him by his bicep, holding him back. And Thomas looks over to him, his expression tense and taut. 

"It's not worth it," Newt says to him quietly, and as Thomas continues to pore over at Newt, his face slowly softens. He inhales briefly and exhales his frustration, nodding at Newt afterward.

Gally snorts. "You're pathetic."

"You know what, Gally? _You're_ pathetic," Thomas shoots back. "And I don't know why you care so much about what I do, but it's none of your fucking business, alright? So cut it out."

"Do you really think I care about what you do?"

"Why else would you feel the need to run your mouth every time I so much as look at Newt, then?"

"Because he's clearly turning you into a faggot Thomas, and it's disgusting."

"So fucking what," Thomas retorts. "You don't have a say in what I do. And you definitely don't have a say in who I love, either."

It takes a few moments for it to register in Newt's mind, but after a while, he eventually becomes aware that Thomas had practically confirmed his relationship with Newt. Not only that, because he also said that he loved him - right in Gally's face. His heart stops in his chest and his breath catches in his throat after he grasps this, unable to muster words to say even if he wanted to. 

Newt isn't the only one that is stunned silent after this confession, as Gally stares at him without saying a word, much like the rest of the boys that remained in the locker room. Out of all of the boys, Minho's reaction stood out the most, as he stood by his locker with a subtle smirk on his lips, but his smirk was not subtle enough for Newt to miss it. He noticed it rather quickly, actually, and it made something occur to him within an instant. 

Suddenly, Newt feels as if he's about to cry, only this time it would be tears from being too happy instead of being heartbroken. His overwhelming mix of emotions was what he assumed caused the tears to come, and he wills them to go away before it's too late because the last thing he wants to do is cry in front of everyone; Gally specifically. 

"Do you have anything else to say?" Thomas asks, and when Gally says nothing, he hums. "That's what I thought."

"Alright boys," Coach Sanders says as he enters the room. He looks up and around at everyone, and he immediately notices the tense atmosphere that he currently resides within, raising an eyebrow at it but not questioning it. "Get on the field. I want everyone doing laps with no exceptions. Got that?" 

The boys all hum in response to Coach Sanders, and they all begin walking outside to the field. Newt and Thomas stay side by side as they walk, and once again, Newt finds their hands brushing together due to how close they were. But this time around, Thomas actually does something about it, carefully holding onto Newt's hand.

He doesn't seem to care about the other boys that are in front of them, and this causes a feeling to burst within Newt that Newt can't exactly explain. His hand tingles from Thomas' touch, and his cheeks fill with heat when Thomas looks over to him. 

"You okay?" 

Newt nods, smiling. "I can't believe you did that, Tommy."

"I can't believe it either," Minho says out of nowhere, jumping into their momentary conversation and interrupting their moment. He pats Thomas on his shoulder and gives it a squeeze. "But good job, man. I'm impressed."

They stop walking when they reach the field where most of the other boys had already begun doing laps, and Newt doesn't want to let go of Thomas' hand, but he knows that he has to.

"So since you two are out now, where are we going to celebrate?" Minho jokes with a smirk.

"Funny," Thomas replies, chuckling a bit.

It's not long before Coach Sanders begins scolding them for not doing what they were told to do, so they begin jogging at a moderate pace to make sure Newt could keep up with them. All the while, Newt can't seem to wipe the smile he has off of his face because of what had happened, and he's sure that he would spend the rest of the day and the entire night unable to think of anything else.

He has a good feeling inside his chest and his heart, and he's not sure of how long it will last, but he doesn't care. He wants to embrace this feeling for as long as he can, and he's not going to let anything get in the way of it. 


	22. Chapter 22

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally :)
> 
> [](<iframe%20src=)  
> [Tumblr](http://sesquipedaliaa.tumblr.com/)

The news about Newt and Thomas' relationship spreads like wildfire, and before Newt can even so much as blink or think twice about the situation, the entire school finds out, and they become the center of everyone's gossip and whispers in an instant. It's rather strange for Newt - being the object of everyone's attention, and it's rather uncomfortable for him, knowing that everyone was talking about him because he wasn't used to that. He wasn't used to being stared at and pointed at as he walked down the hallways, and he wasn't used to so much attention. 

And even though he was used to some sort of attention, being that it was physically impossible to be invisible while also standing next to both Thomas and Minho, it was still strange, because now that Thomas isn't literally standing by his side, there was no longer an excuse for why so many people were looking in his direction. 

He starts to question whether or not it was a good idea for Thomas to reveal their relationship to Gally, considering he was obviously responsible for why the news spread so fast, but then he also thinks about Thomas side of the scenario, and how it must have been a huge step for him. He basically out everything on the line to defend their relationship, and Newt should be thanking him for that, not questioning him. It's rather selfish of him, Newt thinks, to not appreciate Thomas' actions in their entirety, especially since it was what he had wanted after all. 

So for now, Newt is forcing himself to suck it up and bear with it, for the sake of Thomas and their relationship that had approached a new stage; one that Newt was unfamiliar with. 

The hallways are filled to the brink with students, and most of which are looking in Newt's direction, but he avoids their eyes and makes a beeline straight for his locker as quickly as he could, mainly because first period would be starting soon, and he wanted to reach his locker before the bell rang, indicating the beginning of class. Much to Newt's disappointment, the whispers and snickers did not simmer to silence after seconds passed, as they only grew louder, and Newt wished there was some way to block out the sound of his and Thomas' names on the tongues of the strangers that surrounded him, but there wasn't. And that frustrated him. 

His frustration is shown in the form of a sigh, and as he shoves his things into his locker, he finds himself getting more and more irritated. It may seem overdramatic, but Newt is starting to wonder how he's going to manage this overwhelming attention for the rest of senior year, which was practically over, anyway. Maybe he'll be better off if he just pretends like he doesn't notice.

After Newt closes his locker, he turns around to head to class, but he sees Thomas walking down the hallway with Minho by his side and a warm smile on his face. Just Thomas' smile alone made Newt feel like he was melting, and it was as if all of his previous worries had vanished - all because of Thomas' smile. 

Minho pats Newt's shoulder and gives him a smile as he walks past him, while Thomas stops in front of him, his smile refusing to falter as he looks at Newt. 

"Hey," he says. "Can I walk you to class?"

Newt nods with a smile. "Sure."

So they start walking, taking their time with every step, and the hallways begin to clear out with the exception of some students who are in no rush to get to class. Almost all of them are looking at both Newt and Thomas, and this makes Newt resort to looking down at the floor instead. It was easier to manage that way. 

Thomas shoves his hands into his pockets and looks over to Newt, noticing that his eyes were trained on the floor. "Everything alright?"

"Yeah," Newt responds softly, glancing up at him for a moment. "This might take some getting used to, though."

"What?"

" _This_ ," Newt says, gesturing to all the people around them. "I'm not really used to people staring and pointing at me like this. It's uncomfortable, really."

"Just ignore them."

"You're making it sound much easier than it actually is, Tommy."

"Okay so maybe I am," Thomas admits, "but believe me when I tell you that you're honestly better off pretending like they don't exist."

"I know and that's what I'm trying not to, but it's not working."

"Then try harder," Thomas says, and Newt sighs at his simplicity. "Just don't let them get to you. They don't matter, anyway, so don't worry about what they have to say."

They both stop near Newt's class, and Thomas looks over at Newt again, immediately reading the concern that was displayed across his features. 

"Newt," Thomas sighs, "you'll be fine, alright? I promise you," he speaks reassuringly and Newt nods.  

Before he can walk into the classroom, Thomas takes a small step closer to him, keeping one hand in the front pocket of his jeans while he places a finger underneath Newt's chin, leaning in to press a gentle kiss on his lips, only lingering for a few seconds before pulling away. Newt can already feel his cheeks heating up because of this, and he's sure that it'll _definitely_ take some time to get used to this newfound public display of affection. 

There's a small possibility that Newt is starting to like it, however, because it was as if Thomas was placing a public claim on him, and it made him feel secure in one way or another. It's also nice for Newt, knowing that Thomas doesn't seem to care about those who are around them, as he disregards their surroundings. Perhaps this isn't so bad after all. 

Thomas smiles sweetly once he sees the blush on Newt's cheeks, and he shakes his head softly as if he's in disbelief, but the good kind of disbelief. It's the kind of disbelief you feel when you see something beautiful, and you can't believe it's in front on your eyes.

"You're so adorable."

"Bye Thomas," Newt dismisses him, moving away from him with a grin, and Thomas chuckles. 

The bell rings shortly after they part ways, and Newt walks into the classroom, finding his usual seat beside Alby, who was already smirking at him before he could even reach his seat. It's obvious that he's smirking at Newt because of the news, which he seemed way too excited for, and his excitement makes Newt laugh. 

"So," Alby says after Newt takes his seat, his smile widening as he leans over and nudges Newt with his shoulder playfully. "You and Thomas, huh?" 

"I guess so," Newt smiles, bowing his head as his cheeks threaten to flush again at the thought of him. 

"How long have you two been, you know," asks Alby.

"A few months," Newt responds after taking a few moments to ponder his question. Until now, he hadn't realized that he and Thomas have been together for quite some time. It definitely didn't feel as if they had been together for that long, considering time was passing far too quickly for Newt's liking, and after contemplating, Newt also realizes that the time they had left until graduation was limited. He tries to ignore that thought, though, because he knows it's the last thing he needs to be thinking about at this point. 

Alby nods. "Nice. I'm happy for you two."

"Thanks," Newt smiles.

Their conversation, which had barely begun, gets cut short when Mr. Fisher tells them to lower their voices after he begins teaching, but they continue whispering back and forth throughout the period like they usually do. This serves as a distraction for Newt, as he can feel a pair of eyes glaring at him from where he sits, and he doesn't have to turn around to know they belong to Teresa. 

 

 

 

Lunch is (in one way or another) the same as usual. Newt sits at their usual table beside Thomas, who sits beside Minho, who also sits beside Brenda, and across from them is Alby, who sits next to Harriet on some occasions, and the rest of the table is filled with other football players that Newt is not yet familiar with. 

The only thing that is different now is how many people are looking in their direction, and this time around, Thomas isn't holding Newt's hand underneath the table like he usually did because he was too afraid to let everyone know about what they had been hiding. Instead, he has his arm wrapped around Newt's shoulder for everyone to see, and Newt has to admit it's a nice feeling, but he can't help but be self-conscious about everyone that is looking at them, including Gally. 

Unsurprisingly, Gally had taken it upon himself to move his seat for lunch, sitting with Sonya and Teresa instead, who was also glancing (or glaring, more so) at Newt and Thomas whenever she wasn't  ~~~~toying with Aris, which was technically almost every moment. Newt refuses to believe that Teresa actually likes Aris, especially since her gaze always lands on Thomas when she's next to him, and he finds it rather upsetting more than he does pathetic. Surely, Aris didn't deserve being used by Teresa, being that he didn't really seem like a bad guy and, by the looks of it, he actually liked Teresa.

Anyone could tell by the way he looked at her, and even if she was looking in Thomas' direction instead of his, even if he _knew_ why, the look in his eyes never faltered. Newt is positive that their relationship is the most striking visual representation of unrequited love, and in actuality, he finds it difficult to witness it occur right in front of his eyes. 

Aside from Gally and Teresa, Newt also finds himself catching Winston looking in their direction, which isn't very shocking considering Winston always took it upon himself to glance at them whenever he got the chance, but this time as he looks over at the two of them, there's a hint of fire in his eyes, a fire that resembles that of Gally's glare. 

It's rather difficult for Newt to pull away from his gaze, and as he looks at him, he feels a familiar pang of guilt that hits him in his chest as if he had been doing something wrong by being with Thomas. It's ridiculous, really, because he shouldn't feel ashamed about the state of their relationship because this is what he's wanted, but the way Winston is staring at him starts to feed to his guilt. 

And then he feels Thomas shaking his shoulder gently, snapping him out of whatever daze he was previously in. He looks over to him and he immediately notices the concern that written all over Thomas' face. Clearly, Thomas could read Newt like a book because a few seconds later, he shakes his head, silently telling Newt to ignore the stares that were obviously bothering him, and Newt nods while Thomas pulls him closer, holding him tighter. He nuzzles his head into Thomas' neck and sinks into his grasp, taking a deep breath in then out to calm his nerves before deciding to tune into their conversation instead. 

"So," Minho begins, "where are we going today?"

"What do you mean?" Thomas asks, and Newt can feel the vibration of his voice against his cheek. It's oddly soothing to Newt. 

"To celebrate," Minho replies as if his statement was obvious, and Newt laughs softly.  

"What?" Thomas chuckles as well. "I thought you were joking."

"Are you kidding me? This is something worth celebrating! Right, baby?" he says, turning to look at Brenda who rolls her eyes at Minho as usual. Nothing new there. 

"Come on, Brenda, back me up here."

"Okay fine. Yes, it's something to celebrate," Brenda says, and Newt knows it isn't the first time he's heard her speak, but it definitely feels like it due to the lack of words that ever pass her lips. He wants to say it's strange, but it's actually pretty typical. It seems to come along with her entire demeanor, actually. "Just don't call me that."

"But don't you love it when I call you that?" Minho leans closer to Brenda and nudges her. "Don't you, _baby?_ "

Brenda glares at Minho, and Newt is waiting for the moment where she murders him because it seems like the only probable ending to the current stance that they're in. Minho would honestly already be dead if looks could kill. 

Minho grins at her. "Just admit it. You love me."

Brenda can barely maintain her glare as she fights the smile that is threatening to appear on her lips and seemingly forces herself to keep a straight face. She fails, however, looking away from Minho while pursing her lips, and Newt and Thomas chuckle at them. 

"Anyway," Minho says, still smiling. "Are we on?"

"Yeah," Thomas nods. "Where are we going, though?"

Minho ponders his question, giving it a few moments of thought before a wider smile appears on his lips. "I think I know the perfect place."

 

 

 

 

 

Of course, Minho doesn't tell them where exactly they're going, insisting on keeping it a surprise instead. Usually, Newt is able to handle surprises, but being that he had to wait several hours for school to end in order to find out where they were going, he no longer enjoyed the idea, as anticipation was filling him to the brink. 

When school finally ends, Newt practically jumps out of his seat, hurrying to leave the classroom so he could find Thomas and meet with Brenda and Minho outside. He carefully searches the hallways for Thomas, squeezing through the other students that were trying to leave as well, and after a giving his search a moment or two, he finally spots Thomas. But what he doesn't expect to see is Thomas talking to Teresa out of all people, and the sight by itself makes Newt's heart drop in the slightest way that he barely notices it. 

Newt is aware that he has nothing to worry about. 

Thomas and Teresa are history, and Thomas has made that clear to Newt several times. But seeing them together, _speaking_ at that, seems to throw off everything he's ever said to him about her. Maybe he's just being overdramatic. Or maybe he's just being insecure. Either way, Newt doesn't want to stick around to see where their conversation goes. He decides to push away the thought of anything remotely negative occurring, and he walks in the other direction, finding the exit. 

He spots Minho and Brenda near what he assumes is Minho's truck, and he walks over to them, giving them both a gentle smile that he hopes doesn't show his actual feelings. 

"Hey," Minho says. "Where's Thomas?"

"He's probably on his way."

Minho nods, but he gives Newt a small look that Newt can hardly read. 

After waiting, Thomas finally shows up a few minutes later, and Newt rids his mind of how he felt when he saw him and Teresa together. Getting upset would only ruin the moment, and he doesn't want to do that. Not now. 

Thomas flings his book bag into the trunk of Minho's pick up truck before climbing into it, while Minho and Brenda get into the front seat of the car. He looks at Newt, giving him a smile when he notices that Newt is looking at him as if he's crazy. "What are you waiting for? Come on," he says, reaching his hands out for Newt to grab. 

"You want me to get in there?" 

Thomas laughs. "Yeah. Come on."

Newt looks at Thomas questioningly, and Thomas continues reaching his hands out for him, waiting for Newt to take them. "Is it even safe?"

"Yeah, it's fine. I used to do this all the time. Just climb up."

Even after eyeing the truck for a while, Newt still seems unsure of whether or not he should climb into the trunk of Minho's truck. It seems dangerous, especially since they'd be sitting there while Minho's truck would be _moving_ , and Newt briefly wonders if this is what all Americans do. 

Thomas sighs in frustration. "Come're," he says, signaling for Newt to come closer and Newt takes a few careful steps towards him. Thomas grabs onto him and helps him into the back of the truck, but Newt ends up falling on top of him. 

Newt giggles. "Sorry Tommy."

"Was that so hard?" Minho calls as he sticks his head out of the window from the driver's seat, and Newt and Thomas laugh.

Shortly after, Minho starts up the car and they start driving. Newt almost falls over from the sudden movement, but Thomas grabs him, holding him so he doesn't fall again. 

Newt starts to feel more comfortable as the drive goes on, and he begins to enjoy the feeling of the wind breezing through his clothes and the warm sun on his skin. He's still a bit anxious about sitting in the trunk of a moving car, but the way Thomas holds him as they drive helps him ease his nerves. 

When the car finally comes to a stop, Newt can't help but notice the wide smile that spreads across Thomas' face, and the smile is so infectious that Newt ends up smiling as well. Newt sits up and looks around, and all he sees is a vast field full of grass, with a trees colorful trees swaying with the wind, and the sight is rather breathtaking. 

Minho steps out of his truck and drums his hands on the back of the truck, looking at Thomas expectantly. "Where's my thank you?" he jests with a smile. 

"I can't believe you brought us here," Thomas says. "It's been what, three years?"

"Just about," Minho replies, squinting his eyes up at the sun. 

Thomas gets up and climbs out of the trunk and reaches his arms out for Newt, picking him up by his waist to help him down. 

"You've been here before?" Newt asks, gaping at the panorama of nature that surrounds him as they start walking on the perfectly cut grass. The air is pleasant to breathe in, and Newt takes his time in breathing it in, letting it fill his lungs.  

"Yeah. Minho and I came here after my parents got divorced. I was pretty down about it, since my mom didn't stick around for long after it happened, so we took his dad's car and went for a drive, and we found this place."

Newt keeps his eyes on Thomas as he continues speaking. 

"We stayed here for hours, just talking, you know? And even though we both got yelled at afterward, it was worth it. I guess it kind of made me realize that everything was going to be okay."

Thomas looks over at Newt when he finishes, and Newt gives him a warm smile, taking his hand in his and squeezing it affectionately. Thomas squeezes his right back. 

They stop walking when they find the perfect spot in the field, and Thomas lays down in the grass with one arm behind his head and the other wrapped around Newt while Newt rests his head on Thomas' chest. 

It's silent for quite some time, the only sound being the whistling of the grass and the leaves of the trees along with the sound of a few birds in the distance. In retrospect, Newt can't recall a moment where he's felt this much at peace. Everything seems right at the moment. 

Newt leans up and puts his arms on Thomas' chest, leaning his chin on his overlapped hands, and Thomas looks up at him, running his fingers through his hair carefully.

Before he can stop himself, Newt starts speaking up. "So I, uh, I saw you talking to Teresa today," he says quietly, and Thomas blinks at him, but he doesn't stop caressing Newt's hair. "What was that about?"

"Nothing. It was stupid, really."

"Tell me," Newt pleads ever so slightly, and Thomas eyes him for a few seconds before sighing. 

"She thinks I'm trying to get back at her by dating you, which is honestly the most obnoxious thing I've ever heard her say. So I politely told her to fuck off and to mind her business and that was it."

Newt snorts. 

"Seriously?"

"Seriously."

And once again, Newt finds himself worrying over nothing. 

"It doesn't matter, though," Thomas finishes. " _She_ doesn't matter. The only person that _does_ is you. Do you understand me?"

The corner of Newt's lips twitch while he nods at Thomas, and he leans closer to him, giving him a quick kiss. When they pull away, they don't move away from each other, staring into each other's eyes instead as Newt rubs their noses together lovingly. 

"I have something to ask you," Thomas says, and Newt raises his brows. "So prom is coming up in a few weeks," he starts, and Newt is smiling before he even gets to finish his sentence, "and I was wondering if you wanted to come with me? You know, as my date?"

"Of course," Newt replies, pecking his nose. "You don't even have to ask me, Tommy."

"I know, it just felt necessary."

"Well, the answers' yes. Definitely."

Thomas smiles, pulling Newt in for another kiss while rolling them over to get on top of him. Newt squeals and wraps his arms around his neck, returning the kiss. 

"Get a room!" Minho yells from a few meters away. "Just because you're out now, doesn't mean you can make out where ever you want!"

Newt laughs against Thomas' lips but he doesn't pull away, pulling him closer instead. 


	23. Chapter 23

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The [](<iframe%20src=)[playlist](http://8tracks.com/sesquipedalia/fireworks-team-spirit) is finally finished! Hope you guys enjoy it. It took forever to find the right songs. 
> 
> X

"So Tommy," Newt says into his phone that is pressed against his ear, "do you have any plans for today?"

With prom being right around the corner and Newt being completely unprepared, seeing as it is only two weeks away and Newt is  _still_ tux-less, Newt soon realized that he needed to go shopping for a tuxedo before it was too late. (Plus his mom may or may not be coercing him into going, mainly because she wants to pick his tux out for him).

Thomas lets out a contemplative hum as if he were thinking before he replies. "Not really. Why?"

"My parents and I are going shopping for prom today and they wanted to know if you could come with us."

"That sounds like fun," Thomas says. "But wouldn't it be better if we didn't see each other in our tuxes before prom? And isn't that bad luck or something?"

"We're not getting married," Newt chuckles, and he swears he hears Thomas smile on the other side of the line. "It's just prom, anyway."

"I kinda want it to be a surprise, though. Like in the movies, you know? When the guy sees the girl and he's speechless because of how beautiful she is?"

"So I'm a girl now?"

Thomas laughs warmly and the sound makes Newt's heart swell and the corner of his lips turn into a smile. "You know what I mean babe."

It amazes Newt how even after all this time has passed, the nickname still makes his stomach stir. "That's a bit cheesy, don't you think?"

"But it's romantic. Besides, I'd rather wait to see how gorgeous you'll look."

Newt flushes. Thomas really knows how to charm the pants off of Newt, doesn't he? 

As soon as Newt makes an effort to reply, he hears the sound of his mum's voice, so he pulls away from his phone to hear her. "Newt, honey!" she calls from downstairs. "Your father and I are ready to go!"

"Okay! Coming!" Newt yells back before pressing the phone against his ear again. "Hey I have to go, but I'll talk to you later, okay?"

"Wait before you go, I actually wanted to ask you something. About prom?" Thomas begins, and Newt isn't sure if it's his phone or if he's just plain hearing things because it sounds like Thomas' voice is shaking, and that's definitely something new. Seeing, or hearing, more or less, Thomas sound so anxious was so out of character that it actually took Newt by surprise. Thomas was always confident, self-assured even, and whenever he seemed to question himself in even the slightest way, it never went unnoticed. 

"I was going to ask if we could...if you wanted to...get a hotel room, after prom?" he says, his words drawn out to the point where Newt is concerned. But then he realizes what Thomas is implying and he kind of freezes. Actually, he does. His entire body freezes, his words freeze within his throat, and his brain practically freezes as well. He can barely think straight, not with the way his gut is setting itself on fire. 

He tries to reply, he really does, but his mouth and his brain aren't corresponding with each other very well, so what ends up spilling from his lips is a jumble of nonsense and incoherent sounds that in no way shape or form resemble any language whatsoever. Thomas must notice how shaken up Newt is by his question because he immediately continues to speak. 

"Of course we don't have to I mean I'm not forcing you or anything if that's what it seems like. God, you know I would never do that to you, right? I would never force you to do anything you're uncomfortable with because that'd make me a horrible boyfriend and I know that this is kind of a big deal - okay maybe it's a _really_ big deal but-"

"Yeah," Newt finally says, cutting off Thomas' nervous rambling.

"What?"

"Yeah," he repeats. "We can, uh, get a hotel room."

"Are...are you sure? Like I said, we don't have to, and I don't want you to feel like-"

"I want to."

There's a short pause, and through the silence, Newt can hear Thomas' disbelief. "Really?" Thomas asks, his voice so delicate that it tickles Newt's cheek like a feather. Theoretically, of course.

"Yeah."

And Newt is surprised that his voice isn't shaking violently because he's more nervous than words could ever explain. 

"O..okay."

The silence this time is not awkward, and it isn't comfortable either, as it is rather tense, but the tense feeling that airs between Newt and Thomas on the other side of the line isn't particularly unpleasant. In a way, it's reassuring. 

"I, uh, I have to go," Newt remembers, and suddenly Thomas does to.

"Right. I guess I'll talk to you later, then."

"Yeah."

Silence keeps creeping between them, but Thomas speaks up again before it can get too severe. "I love you."

And Newt sighs as if the words cause relief to spread across his body, and a small smile forms on his lips. "I love you too."

 

 

 

 

 

Newt is exhausted.

This is probably the millionth suit he's tried on, and he's hoping, _praying_ that his mum approves of it because he really does not want to try on another. If he does, he's one hundred percent sure he would drop dead from lassitude.

It's gotten to the point where Newt no longer wants to attend prom because of how many suits he's tried on, since his mom keeps sending him back to try another one, insisting that they haven't found the perfect tux yet, which Newt finds absolutely ridiculous because it's just prom after all. Why is everyone taking prom much more seriously than Newt is?

When Newt's mom begins giving him her signature face of disapproval, (where she purses her lips and crosses her arms over her chest while giving Newt a once over) he dies inside, and on the outside as well, as he groans and throws his head back. 

"Mum," he complains. "I've tried on every suit in this store. How is it possible that we haven't found the right one yet?"

"Don't be dramatic, Newton," she says, waving him off. "We just got here."

Unsurprisingly, Newt's dad doesn't make an effort to defend him, sticking by his mum's word as if he were glued to her. That could really get irritating sometimes. 

Newt groans again and practically stomps back into the dressing room, swearing that if his mum didn't approve of the next suit, he would get it anyway, because his patience is running thin. 

He barely even glances at himself in the mirror after he finishes putting the next suit on because of how much he's rushing, and he's out of the dressing room in the next moment. When he steps out of it, one of the retail clerks helps him with his tie before he ... Instead of being met with a set of judgemental eyes, Newt is met with a bright smile.

"That's it, Newton," she nods. "That's the one."

She stands up after taking a few seconds to look Newt over with approval this time, and she cups Newt's cheeks within her hands, beaming at him with obvious excitement. "Oh honey you look so handsome. I bet Thomas is gonna fall in love with you all over again when he sees you."

And her words hit Newt harder than they probably should. It puts a smile on his face

Her words put a smile on his face, and it's the kind of smile that makes the most doubtful person feel as if everything was going to be okay - it's a rather solace smile. 

"You think so?" Newt says in a small voice, and he turns around to look at himself in the full-length mirror that once stood behind him. He carefully runs his fingers through his hair, looking himself up and down a few times until he ultimately finds himself believing his mum. This suit _is_ the right one. He can feel it just as much as he can see it. 

The suit fits him in a way that the others didn't, and it actually makes him feel secure for once in his life. He was so used to feeling insecure that he's lost sight of what it meant to truly be confident or self-assured, but seeing himself in the tux changes that for a few moments. For once, he feels content with who he sees looking back at him in the mirror. 

"I know so," she smiles at him genuinely through the mirror, then she turns to the retail clerk with an even wider smile (if that's even possible). "We'll take it."

 

 

 

 

 

 

It takes quite some time for Thomas' words to fully set in, as it is when sleep nearly consumes him later that night when he realizes that his innocence would be taken away from him in only two weeks.  

A part of Newt is excited, believe it or not, because he would be giving his innocence to somebody he loved with all of his heart - somebody that he had spent all of high school dreaming about and obsessing over. Thomas is Newt's first and only love, and his innocence is what he assumes to be one of the best gifts he could give ever him, seeing as it would allow them to be closer than they ever could be. And Newt looks forward to that: being able to give Thomas all of his trust and to hold Thomas as close to him as possible in his most vulnerable moment. 

But the other part of Newt is _petrified._ Clearly, he's never done anything with another person before, and he was lacking experience. He had barely laid his hands on his own boyfriend in places that were not considered PG-13, so how would he be able to do such a thing without making himself seem like a bloody idiot? And not only that, but was he really ready to go through with such a thing? It would be a huge step in their relationship, for sure, and what if everything changed between them after it was all over?

That's the last thing Newt wants. The last thing he wants is for their relationship to be destroyed just before university, so he could go off on his own, being the most depressed blonde British boy that ever walked the earth. He doesn't want it to turn out to be a mistake after all, because there was no taking back things like that. After it's all said and done, there's absolutely _nothing_ you can do about it, and you're left to think about how it went for the rest of your life. And that's terrifying to Newt. 

He briefly wonders if he might be overthinking it like he does with everything else, but he also wonders if the same thoughts plague Thomas' mind the same way they do his own. 

As if on queue, Newt's phone buzzes on his nightstand beside his bed, snapping him out of his thoughts. He turns his head to glance at the phone that was illuminating in the room before reaching over and grabbing it, looking at the screen to see a message from Thomas. When he unlocks his phone, he's meet with a message reading:

**are you up babe?**

He types back a response.

**Yeah I'm up. What's wrong?**

It takes a few seconds, but his phone buzzes again. 

 **nothing.** i **was just thinking about you,** **thats all.**

He receives another text before he can respond to the last one. 

**how did today go? did you find a nice tux?**

**I did, actually. And may I say that I look amazing in it.**

**i bet :) cant wait to see you in it.**

Newt smiles, and he ponders if this is what it feels to be a love sick adolescent. 

**So when are you going shopping for one? Prom is right around the corner.**

**maybe sometime next week. ill probably go with minho and a few guys from the football team.**

He's tempted to ask about how everything will play out after prom, but he decides against it, figuring the topic didn't need to be brought up, especially this late at night. Thomas sends another message before Newt can change the subject, anyhow. 

**well its pretty late and i should probably go to sleep**

**even though i dont want to. id rather spend the entire night talking to you until the sun rises.**

**Me too. But I'll see you tomorrow, right? Aren't you coming over?**

**yeah so ill see you then.**

**good night rosy. sweet dreams**

If there was a way for Newt to slap Thomas through the phone, he would have done it. Instead, he laughs at the nickname Thomas knows he hates and types his final reply. 

**Good night.**

And for a few moments, as Newt tries to fall asleep (and he means it this time), he lets himself forget about how he is utterly and completely terrified of what's to come. 


	24. Chapter 24

Prom is tonight, and Newt doesn't think he's ever felt this nervous, this anxious, in his entire life. He's been stressing over himself in the mirror for practically a half hour, trying his best to look absolutely perfect because he is not willing to let himself be seen as anything less than perfect in front of Thomas, especially not on this night. It's special for the both of them, not only because of what's going to happen afterwards, which, speaking of, Newt should try not to think so much about or else he'll pass out, but also because it's one of the last nights their going to be able to spend with each other before graduation - before college. 

Newt really doesn't need to be thinking about this right now, not when Thomas is going to show up any minute and not when he feels like he looks far from good enough. He sighs at his reflection in the mirror and slouches his shoulders, turning to face his mum who was sitting on his bed, watching him with a soft smile on her face and her arms crossed over her chest. 

"I give up, mum. When Thomas gets here, tell him I've died," Newt says dramatically, and his mum laughs, standing up. 

"You're so melodramatic, Newton."

She adjusts Newt's tie for him and brushes the wrinkles out of his suit, then she runs her fingers through his hair carefully to make sure nothing was sticking up. After she finishes fiddling with his appearance, she reaches over and grabs his corsage that Thomas had bought for him, putting it on his wrist and securing it. She notices Newt's growing sense of uneasiness, so she cups his face in her hands softly like any mother would and looks at him with reassurance. 

"You look amazing, honey. There's absolutely nothing you need to worry about, alright? You're gonna' go out with that gorgeous boyfriend of yours, and you're gonna' have a good time tonight, do you understand me?"

Newt tries to give her the best smile he could muster and nods, and she smiles back at him, patting his cheeks. A few moments after she does, Newt hears the doorbell ring and he automatically knows that Thomas has arrived. 

"Come on," she says, practically dragging him out of his room, and Newt takes deep breaths in and out while they walk, or as his mum hauls him, to the stairs. He can see Thomas and his dad hugging from the top of the staircase, and he watches as they start talking before he starts walking down the stairs with his mum. Their conversation gets cut short as soon as Thomas notices his presence and he stares up at Newt, watches him carefully as he makes his way down. When he finally reaches the foot of the stairs, Thomas' lips spread into a smile, and Newt notices that his dad is smiling at him as well. 

"Hi Tommy," Newt says shyly, feeling himself close up underneath Thomas' bright gaze. 

"Hey," he replies, his smile not faltering. "You look amazing."

Newt flushes. "Thanks. You do too."

"Alright love birds, before you go, I need some pictures," Newt's mum says, and Newt almost groans, but he knows he would be whacked if he did, so he doesn't. He just goes to stand beside Thomas and Thomas wraps his arm and his waist, pulling him close.

Newt's parents seem to smile impossibly wider when they start posing for their pictures, and it reminds Newt of just how much his parents love Thomas. The mere fact of Newt's parents not only accepting Thomas but adoring him makes him feel warm inside. It was nice knowing that his parents loved Thomas almost as much as Newt does.  

As they're almost finished taking pictures, Thomas leans down to whisper in Newt's ear: "I can't believe you're all mine tonight", and Newt ducks his head, not wanting his parents to notice his cheeks, as they would inevitably tease him because of their dark shade.

"You two are so precious," Newt's mum comments as she looks at the pictures before looking back up at the two of them. "What time are you planning on bringing him home, Thomas?"

When Thomas stumbles over his words in search for a proper response, Newt's mum only smiles knowingly. "Just make sure you bring him home in one piece. Now go on, you two. Have fun."

Newt's mum places a kiss on both Thomas' and Newt's cheeks and they say goodbye, heading over to Thomas' car. As they drive, Newt feels his nerves setting in, but as usual, Thomas wills them away with his off-key singing that has Newt laughing so hard, he can hardly breathe. 

The car ride is brief, and Newt is stepping out of Thomas' car before he knows it, with Thomas rushing to stand by his side, holding him by his waist as if he was trying to protect him. Unsurprisingly, almost everyone turns to stare at them as soon as they walk into the building, and Newt wants to say that he's used to it by this point, but he still isn't. 

To pull his mind away from their gazes, Thomas squeezes Newt's waist reassuringly, silently telling him to ignore them like he always does, and Newt nods, sinking deeper into his grasp. 

Music is already blasting throughout the hallways of the school, which are decorated with banners and firefly lights, and upon reaching the gym, Newt sees a crowd of his peers dancing along to the beat. It's a bit upsetting knowing that this is the first and only party Newt has ever been to, but he brushes away the thought before it can bother him too much. 

Thomas pulls Newt through the crowd of people until they reach Minho and Alby, who practically scream when they set their eyes on Newt and Thomas, and they pull them both into a group hug, causing Newt to giggle at their excitement. Over the course of getting to know them, Newt has found himself taking a great liking to Minho and Alby. They were always a pleasure to be around, and their energy was always contagious, never failing to put a smile on Newt's face. 

"Well aren't you dressed up to the nines," Alby says, patting Newt's shoulder with a smile. "You look great."

"Hey - he's mine," Thomas jokes, pointing a finger at Alby, and Alby throws his hands up in defense, chuckling. Soon after, he's being dragged off by Harriet who pulls him to the dance floor with everybody else. 

"Where's Brenda?" Newt finds himself asking, and Minho gestures over to the floor where she's dancing with a few of her friends. 

"Why aren't you with her, man?" Thomas continues for Newt. 

"You and I both know that I don't dance."

"So what?"

" _So_ that means that I'm not going to embarrass myself tonight."

"Oh please," Thomas scoffs. "You better go out there right now and dance with her or I'll shove you over there myself."

Minho rolls his eyes. "Since when did you become the boss of me?"

"Since you decided to become my idiot best friend. Now go."

Newt laughs at the both of them and watches as Minho goes over to Brenda and presumably asks her to dance. Then Thomas turns to Newt after she accepts his request and pulls his own date to the dance floor. The slight problem is that neither one of them can dance, or they're just really bad dancers at the least. Still, Newt tries to move with the music, allowing himself to have a good time without letting anything or anyone get in the way for once.

Thomas' dancing isn't as bad as Newt initially thought it would be, but it still makes him laugh uncontrollably, which causes Thomas to pout in a way that Newt finds absolutely adorable. 

They both try to keep up with the fast-paced tempo, ultimately tripping over each other's feet, yet they manage to stay somewhat on beat, moving with each other in tandem while the rhythm continues to flow throughout the room.

 

 

 

As each song passes, Newt comes to realize that Thomas has incredible stamina, barely faltering even after moving for so long, and he assumes this comes from the exercise that Thomas does on a regular basis. Newt, on the other hand, does not have as much stamina, and he almost finds himself doubling over from being so exhausted. 

Newt, on the other hand, does not have as much stamina, and he almost finds himself doubling over from being so exhausted. He clearly can't keep up with Thomas, so he tells Thomas that he's going to take a break, and Thomas nods at him breathlessly, but he doesn't stop dancing. Instead, he goes over to Brenda who had gone back to dancing with her friends and joins them. 

While he does, Newt walks over to the drinks, and he notices Minho doing the same, so he goes over to him. He nudges Minho with his shoulder as he pours himself a drink, and Minho looks over to him, smiling when he sees that it's just Newt. 

"Hey. You having a good time?" Minho asks, and Newt nods. 

"A great time, actually. You?"

"Yeah," Minho nods back, taking a sip out of his cup. 

For a second or two, Newt is confused as to what he should say next, so he says the first thing that comes to mind. "How's everything? With Brenda and all?"

"Amazing. You know after all this time, she finally opened up to me."

Newt raises his eyebrows and looks over to Minho, who stares directly in Brenda's direction with a small smile on his lips. Just from the glint in Minho's gaze, Newt can tell that he's really into her, and the way he looks at her makes Newt see him in a different light. Rather than being the boy the boy that always joked around and never took anything seriously, he was a boy that was falling, and he was falling hard without even being aware of it. 

"She's...different when you get to know her. Insightful. She really opened my eyes and I like that about her. And not to mention, she's gorgeous. I mean look at her."

Minho doesn't pull his eyes away from her and sighs ardently. "I just think she's perfect."

His adoration for Brenda was as clear as day, and it Newt found it to be incredibly sweet.

"But enough about me. What about you and Thomas? How's everything going between you two?"

"Better than it ever could," Newt admits. "Even with everyone making it seem like us being together is a taboo, 

"That's good," Minho says genuinely, and he pauses for a brief moment before continuing. "You know, I think you and Thomas are perfect for each other."

Newt looks over to Minho and he's looking back at Newt frankly with the most sincere expression that Newt has ever seen him wear. "I haven't seen Thomas this happy in a really long time, Newt. I mean with the divorce and all the pressure his dad's been putting on him for college, he's been pretty down. But whenever you're around, it's like none of that even matters to him anymore. Just you. And I mean it when I say that he really loves you. He talks about you all day long and he always brags about how amazing you are."

His heart is doing the thing in his chest again - when it compresses and swells to the point where he can barely breathe with how much he's feeling.

"Really?" is all that comes out of Newt's mouth, and Minho nods.

"And I'll admit that it does get annoying after a while but it's still nice knowing that he cares about you so much. You make him happier than anyone else ever has, and I really hope you know that."

And Newt turns his attention back to Thomas when Minho's words pass, seeing him laughing with Alby and Brenda on the dance floor. He seems as if he's having the time of his life, and this makes the corner of Newt's lips curve gently. Newt doesn't have to turn to know that Minho is smiling at him. 

Little to no words are passed between them for a few moments, and after a while, the entire room begins to settle down once the fast-paced tempo slows. As soon as Thomas notices, he begins searching the room for Newt until his eyes fall on him. Once they do, he gestures for him to come to the dance floor, so Newt rests his cup down, giving Minho a soft smile, and then he walks over to him. 

Thomas pulls Newt close the moment he's within arms reach, and Newt chortles, reciprocating their close proximity by wrapping his arms around Thomas' neck. Slow dancing seems to be their forte, as they restrain from stepping on each other's feet this time around, swaying with the music in a rather composed manner instead. 

Without even looking around the room, Newt can tell that there are a few eyes on the both of them, some more unfriendly than others, so he buries his face within the crook of Thomas' neck to distract himself, immediately being hit with the smell of Thomas' cologne as soon as he does.

The grip Thomas has around Newt becomes much tighter and Newt briefly wonders if it's possible for someone to get so lost in another's grasp that they forget where they are, because that's exactly what happens once he shuts his eyes. All he can hear is the fading sound of a soft melody in his ears and all he can feel is the fabric of Thomas' tuxedo on his cheek and his hands that rest on the small of his back. 

For the first time, Newt has slipped away from reality, and all he can register is Thomas' presence - his scent, his touch, his silent breathing, and everything that just screams Thomas is all that Newt can manage to so much as think about. 

Newt barely notices how many songs pass as they undulate to the music and he barely hears when Thomas whispers his name until he repeats it for the third time.  

He lifts his head up to look at Thomas and feels a bit dizzy after being snapped into reality so quickly, and Thomas is looking at him carefully, deliberately.  

"Do you wanna get out of here?" 

And just with those few words, Newt's nerves are creeping right back into his system. He had let Thomas' words slip from his mind throughout the entire night, but being reminded of it, of what they were going to do, made him freak out a little. Okay, maybe a lot. But he refused to show it. He's ready, isn't he?

So he nods, and he swears he sees Thomas' let out a breath of air that he was apparently holding in.  

Thomas takes Newt's hand in his so they could fish through the crowd and before they can leave, they pass Minho who pulls away from Brenda to look at them.  

"Leaving already?"

"Uh yeah," Thomas replies nervously, and he doesn't stop walking. "I'll see you later, alright?" 

Minho smirks at the both of them knowingly and goes back to dancing with Brenda and Newt avoids his gaze to prevent from embarrassing himself. As they exit the building, the music dwindles to silence, which means that Newt can suddenly hear the sound of his heartbeat that only worsens his nerves. But Thomas tries to ease Newt's anxiety by reaching over and holding his hand as they ride to the hotel, rubbing the back of it soothingly, even though he, too, is having a hard time filling his lungs with air. 

 

 

 

 

By the time they reach the hotel room, Newt thinks he's going to pass out.

Given the circumstances, he has every right to fall over, but he refuses to let himself because Thomas, _his_ Thomas, is standing in front of him, looking better than he ever has, in the hotel room that he got for them. So he could take Newt's virginity. _Fuck_. 

They've been standing in the middle of the room for about 5 minutes after they had taken off their jackets, and they're avoiding each other's eyes as they both try to calm themselves down, but it's hardly working and it's written all over the both of their faces. 

"I can't breathe, Tommy," Newt finally admits and Thomas laughs rigidly.  

"Me neither."

"How should we, um, start?"

And Newt immediately cringes at how awkward he sounds. He wishes he were some sort of sex god so this wouldn't be so difficult, but he knows that far from ever being true. 

"I guess I'll just-" Thomas begins, gesturing to shirt instead of finishing his sentence. Then he starts undoing the buttons one by one from top to bottom and Newt realizes that he's staring, so he starts working on his own shirt. When he's halfway done, he glances back up at Thomas to see him slipping his shirt off of his shoulders, and they pool around his feet after hitting the floor. 

Newt freezes, unable to pull his eyes away from Thomas' chest. It's not like he hasn't seen Thomas shirtless before, but seeing him close up kind of took Newt off guard. Thomas is stunning to say the least - so stunning that Newt is lost for words as he stares at him, at his boyfriend. 

His chest is incredibly toned and defined, and Newt finds himself pondering what the rest of his boy looks like if this is what he looks like with just his shirt off. 

"Can I touch you?" Newt asks quietly without properly hearing his own words, and he's about to mentally slap himself when he becomes aware of them, but Thomas' nod stops him before he can. 

In response, Newt takes a steady step closer to Thomas, reaching his hands up and placing them on Thomas' chest after a few seconds of hesitation. God, he feels even better than he looks. 

He slowly and carefully runs his hands down the exposed skin of Thomas' chest and his fingers begin to tingle as they begin to travel farther down, reaching his stomach. Newt is practically gasping at this point, his nerves causing his breathing patterns to become irregular, and he can't help but notice Thomas intense gaze. He dares himself to look up into it, and he finds Thomas staring directly at his lips with his golden brown eyes. 

Then Thomas is leaning in and once their lips meet, Newt feels as if his fate has been sealed. The kiss is one of the softest kisses they've ever shared, and it makes Newt's insides twist delightfully.

Thomas starts to undo the rest of Newt's buttons, and once the shirt hits the ground, he places his hands on Newt's cheeks and deepens the kiss, parting his mouth so his tongue could slip between Newt's lips. And Newt hums, walking backwards as Thomas takes steps toward him. The back of his knees reach the edge of the bed after a few steps, causing Newt to fall back on it, and he doesn't take his eyes off of Thomas while he climbs on top of him and reconnects their lips briefly.

Newt expects another kiss, but it lands on the corner of his mouth and the next set are placed along his jaw and along the sensitive skin of his neck. Eventually, Thomas reaches Newt's collar bone, and he nips at it, pulling soft moan from Newt. 

But Thomas doesn't stop, trailing kisses down the expanse of his chest, and Newt gulps, watching as Thomas places kisses past his naval and stops when he reaches his trousers. All it takes is Thomas glancing up at Newt with wide eyes for approval until Newt is nodding his head and lifting his hips so Thomas could pull his trousers down and off, throwing them with the rest of their clothes.  

Newt doesn't know if he should be embarrassed about being hard this early on, though when Thomas stands up to unbuckle his belt and take off his own trousers, he realizes that he's not the only one, and he blushes at the sight. 

Sooner than Newt expects, the time comes for his briefs to come off, and he feels embarrassment surfacing within him as Thomas hooks his fingers into the band of his underwear. He doesn't stop him, however, and he lets him slowly pull his last bit of clothing off, leaving him bare in front of boyfriend.

If Newt has ever felt insecure in his life, which obviously he has, it doesn't compare to how insecure he feels at the moment with Thomas eyeing his entire body. And it's as if Thomas catches his diffidence as soon as it becomes visible because he begins caressing the soft skin of Newt's milky thighs with care and affection to ease his nervousness.

"You're so beautiful, you know that?" he coos suddenly, and Newt whines, tensing at Thomas' touch. "Hey. Hey, look at me. It's okay. You trust me, right?"

Newt sinks his teeth into his bottom lip when Thomas resumes his caressing, wordlessly coaxing Newt into spreading his thighs wider, and he nods, parting them for Thomas. The last thing he expects is for Thomas to lean down and place kisses along his thighs, and it makes Newt's breath hitch in surprise.

For a few seconds, Thomas pulls away from Newt completely, and Newt looks down in confusion to see what he's doing. What he sees is Thomas searching through the pockets of his pants that he had discarded until he pulls out a bottle of lube and a condom that he then places on the bed. From that moment, what they were about to do became three times more apparent to Newt than it had been before.

His breathing speeds up as Thomas uncaps the bottle and spreads the lube over his first two fingers, and he practically chokes on air when Thomas looks up at him after settling between his parted thighs.

"Tell me if it hurts, okay?" he says, bringing his slicked forefinger to Newt's entrance, rubbing it experimentally. His eyes don't falter from Newt's gaze, even as he pushes the finger inside of him. 

To Newt's surprise, the intrusion doesn't hurt much. Maybe it's a bit uncomfortable at most but Newt thinks he can bare through the feeling for the time being.  

It's a bit awkward between the both of them, especially with there being little to no sounds coming from either one of them except for Newt's nervous breathing and the raunchy slick from the lube whenever Thomas pushed his finger in and out of Newt. That is until Thomas adds his middle finger along with his first, pulling a strangled moan out of Newt as he dug his nails into the soft fabric of the sheets for purchase. 

The sound only feeds to the strawberry glow that already resides within his cheeks, and he sinks his teeth further into his bottom lip to prevent himself from making any sounds again. 

He can barely help it, however. The stretch is slightly painful but it also feels...good? And Newt can't stop the small moans that are getting trapped at the back of his throat no matter how hard he tries. He wants to so bad, and the fact that he can't do anything about it only seems to worsen his humiliation. 

"Don't be embarrassed," Thomas says breathlessly, and Newt is puzzled over his panting when he isn't even the one being stretched. "I...I wanna hear you."

That's it. Newt is dead. Actually, Newt's probably been dead for about twenty minutes now, with the way Thomas is eyeing him and with the way he's been touching him with so much love - so much fondness. His gut sets on fire when he hears Thomas' words of encouragement, and he doesn't even try to suppress his pathetic moans after finding out that Thomas actually wanted to hear them. 

So he lets himself go, which isn't the first time since the beginning of the night.  

He lets himself get lost in the feeling, and he doesn't subdue the wants and the needs that his body is calling for without his permission, canting his hips so Thomas' fingers could be pushed further inside of him. 

"Shit," Thomas mutters, and he tries to fit another finger along with the other two, causing Newt to whine and squeeze the sheets tighter within his fists. He can barely move his fingers due to how snug Newt is around them, so he scissors them carefully, making sure not to cause any pain. 

"Tommy I - _ah_ , I think I'm ready," he manages to moan out. 

"You sure? I mean we can stop if you're not -"

"Yeah," Newt nods rapidly. "Yeah, I'm sure."

"O-okay," he stutters, pulling his fingers out of Newt and sitting up to pull off his boxers before scrambling to find the condom. Newt leans up on his elbows to watch as Thomas tries to open it with trembling hands, and when this doesn't work, Thomas brings the package to his mouth, using his teeth to tear it open. 

A part of Newt is too afraid to watch him put it on, but he does anyway, swallowing when his mouth goes dry. _Fuck_ , this is too much. Thomas is naked in front of him - they're naked in front of _each other_ , and they're about to go all the way. _All the fucking way_. Newt feels as if he's going to pass out again. 

Thomas gets on top of Newt after he slicks himself up, and Newt both physically and mentally prepares himself for what's about to happen, but before he can panic, Thomas leans down and places a tender kiss on his lips. Then he lines himself up with Newt's entrance and slowly pushes into him, lips parting as he does, and Newt whimpers, subconsciously throwing his arms around Thomas so he could hold onto him. 

He finally sinks completely into Newt, and they both exhale roughly. Newt takes a few moments to fully adjust to Thomas, and when he feels like he's ready, he tells Thomas to start moving, so he does, grabbing one of Newt's legs to hitch it over his hip before he pulls out, thrusting back in. And Newt wraps his other leg around Thomas' hip, pulling him closer as he begins to form a moderate pace. 

"You okay?" Thomas asks, fighting the urge to moan. Newt, on the other hand, is letting out a jumble of mewls and whines that make it difficult for him to respond, which prompts him to nod his head instead of speaking. 

The mix of pain and pleasure is quite overwhelming for Newt, as he's never experienced anything close to it before. But knowing that he was experiencing it with Thomas for the first time made it that much better.

Newt can't imagine ever trusting anyone else enough to endure something so intimate, so passionate, that it makes his head spin. He can't imagine being with anyone else, and he doesn't want to imagine it either, because all he wants, all he _needs_ , is Thomas. And he wants it to stay that way for as long as possible.

"Can - can you go faster?"

"Are you sure?" Thomas pants. "I don't wanna hurt you."

"I-It's fine. Just-" Newt pauses, swallows. " _Please_." 

So Thomas does. He starts thrusting into Newt at a quicker tempo and Newt cries out, dragging his nails down Thomas' back. Thomas grunts at the sting of his skin being broken, but he doesn't falter, maintaining his movement. 

Right now, all of Newt's senses are being occupied by Thomas. With the breathtaking sight of Thomas above him, the occasional tang of salt on his tongue whenever he places a kiss on Thomas' shoulder, the feel of their bodies colliding over and over, and the sound of his soft groans along with the smell of his strong cologne, Newt is slowly going crazy.

His head is spinning, his _entire world_ is spinning, and he's slipping away again, beyond the point of reprisal. 

But he loves it. He loves not being aware of anything but Thomas because he's all he ever thinks about regardlessly. Thomas is his burning flame of the celestial sea, and he's willing to drown if that's what it takes to remain within close proximity to him. 

"Oh fuck," Thomas curses suddenly, and the weakness behind his voice causes fire to erupt in Newt's gut, which sends tingles all throughout his body. His voice is ragged, raspy, and Newt's never heard him sound so vulnerable before. It's a bit surprising to him, seeing Thomas' assertive nature falter, but it was enticing. 

As time passes, Thomas begins to move his hips desperately, and the heat in Newt's stomach begins to worsen, heightening his pleasure. It's then that he notices how hard he is and how much he aches to touch himself, to relieve himself, and to his own surprise, he reaches down to jerk himself without a single bit of hesitation.

Immediately, his mind begins to cloud as his orgasm starts approaching, and his hips jolt in response.

"Tom," Newt moans. " _Tommy_. I think I'm gonna-" he begins, but his sentence gets cut off by his own squeal of despair.

"I love you so fucking much," Thomas groans, and Newt's heart bursts within his chest. He can't handle this jumble of emotions - it's too much combined with the feeling of Thomas. 

And Newt tries to say it back, he really does, but he's so close that he can't. "I-" he pants, speeding up his strokes. "I-"

Then he falls apart, his back arching while a string of whines fall from his lips as his orgasm crashes over him in waves. His entire body jolts a few times as Thomas continues to thrust once, twice, before following suit on his third thrust, letting out a strained grunt and stilling, nearly collapsing on top of Newt. 

They pant for a few seconds with Thomas leaning his forehead against Newt's to catch his breath before he places a kiss on it, and rolls off of Newt to stand up. Newt fleetingly wonders where he's going, slipping underneath the sheets as he does, but Thomas goes over to the trash to discard the condom and returns shortly after, joining Newt.

He wraps his arms around Newt securely while Newt lays his head on his chest, listening to the sound of his heartbeat that is still racing. This puts a smile on Newt's face. 

"How are you feeling?" Thomas asks as he begins carding his fingers through Newt's hair carefully, as if he would break if he touched him in a way that was not gentle.

"A little sore, but I'm alright."

What follows is silence, a comfortable silence between the two of them that reminds Newt of the nature of their relationship. They didn't need words to communicate with each other. Most of the time, glances and touches were enough. 

However, this time around, that wouldn't suffice. There was something that was sitting at the back of Newt's mind for quite some time throughout their silence, and he wouldn't let the night end without saying it.

"Thomas?" Newt inquires, leaning his chin on Thomas' chest and Thomas looks down at him. "What are we gonna do? After tonight, I mean. After high school."

"What do you mean?"

"Because we're both going away for university and we won't see each other anymore. What's gonna happen between us? What are we gonna do?"

"Don't worry, babe. We'll make it work." 

Newt bats his eyelashes up at Thomas, who continues running his fingers through Newt's hair. "You think so?"

"Of course. If we could get through all the shit that we got from school, I'm sure we can get through this too. Trust me."

"Promise me then," Newt says. "Promise me that we'll stay together no matter what. I can't stand the thought of losing you, Thomas, so please promise me."

"I promise. With all my heart."

Newt searches Thomas' eyes for a hint of sincerity, and as soon as he sees it, he sighs in relief, nuzzling his head against Thomas' chest again. And Thomas kisses the top of his head, muttering little comments of affection until all of the doubt that Newt once possessed became lost from view. 

 

 

 

 

The sun is almost about to peak over the horizon once Thomas finally drops Newt home later that night, and after he kisses him goodbye, he has to sneak back into his house, tip toeing up the stairs so he could get to his room without waking him mum. He knew that if he so much as breathed outside of her door, she would wake, so he tried to be as quiet as possible, but he still failed, hearing the sound of her voice calling after him once he reached his room. 

He plops down on his bed in exhaustion as she walks into his room, leaning against the door frame with her eyes still squinted from sleep and her arms crossed over her chest. She seems to be growing a habit out of that. 

"How was your night, honey?" she asks, and Newt isn't really sure how to respond. So he just settles with:

"Great."

"Did you have fun?"

"Yeah, I did."

"Good," she nods, and she smiles at him knowingly. "You were safe, right?"

Newt is about to say yes until he realizes what his mum is actually referring to, and he groans in mortification, shoving his face into his pillow and pulling a sleep deprived laugh from her. 

"You know I'm just messing with you," she smiles. "But I'm glad you had fun tonight. Now get some sleep. I'll see you in the morning, alright love?"

Newt nods and says good night to her, even though it's technically morning.

Once he eventually lays down to sleep, the thought of Thomas resurfaces within his mind, and Newt comes to the conclusion that he never wants to live a life without Thomas. Not only because he doesn't want to, but also because he knows that he won't be able to.

Thomas makes up who he is, and without him, he doesn't know where he'd be. 


	25. Chapter 25

After prom, things between Newt and Thomas only seemed to get better, even if that barely seems possible.

Of course there were the ups and downs that came along with the end of high school, including graduation, which, to Newt's surprise, was actually filled with more tears than he initially expected. 

It was a time of goodbyes, for his current friends that he previously assumed would not even so much as look in his direction, and his past friends, whom he grew distant from over the course of senior year. 

Truth be told, it was a bit upsetting for Newt, knowing that he would be leaving high school without _him_ by his side. Winston and Newt were best friends after all, and although they no longer spoke to each other, Newt couldn't deny that he still had a space saved within his heart just for him. 

With that being said, it was also a time of getting over the past, and although that didn't necessarily mean forgiveness, it meant being able to move forward without looking back.

He made sure to catch up with Winston before the end of graduation, and for a moment, he put their battered friendship aside, wishing him good luck and telling him to have a good life. They had hugged after that, and even though this didn't mean they were best friends again, it meant that they would be leaving on a good note, and that sat well with Newt. 

Now that high school was over, Newt and all of his friends began preparing themselves for college, and that meant that they hardly had time to spend with each other, this applying to Newt and Thomas as well, but before their last day arrived, they made sure that they would gather one last time to say their final goodbyes before parting ways and what other way to do that than having a party on the fourth of July?

The sun has already begun to set by the time they arrive, causing an orange hue to cover the expanse of the beach. Being that the party is hosted by Minho and Alby, Newt is not surprised to see almost the entire senior class at the beach. It's almost impossible to find his own friends within the sea of people, but Thomas eventually spots Alby, taking Newt's hand so he could pull him through the crowd to approach him. 

Alby has a bright smile on his face and open arms by the time they reach him, and he pulls them into a deathly hug, almost crushing them, but Newt doesn't seem to mind. He's fond of Alby and his means of affection. 

Minho shows up not much longer after they pull away, and he's got his signature smirk plastered across his lips. Just at the sight of it, Newt can tell that he's about to make a comment. 

"Finally," Minho says, his smirk widening. "What took you two so long? Getting busy in Tommy's backseat?"

Thomas hits Minho in his chest playfully while Minho chuckles, and Newt flushes, burying his face in Thomas' neck, even though Minho's words held no truth to them. It was the mere thought of Minho considering that a possibility that embarrassed Newt so much. 

"Very funny," Thomas counters, trying to suppress his own laugh, and Newt whines, nudging him. Thomas only pulls him closer, kissing him on his hair. 

"I'm just teasing you," Minho pokes Newt. "It's fun making you blush."

Newt grunts in fake annoyance and they all laugh at him. 

"You guys actually came right on time. The fireworks are starting soon. Maybe you should grab some drinks and a spot on the sand before everyone else does?" Alby suggests, and Thomas agrees. 

"We'll catch up with you two later."

Minho and Alby nod before disappearing in the crowd once again, and Newt and Thomas walk over to the coolers to get some drinks. They decide on wine coolers and as they sip them coolly while they sit in the sand, Newt is oddly reminded of the night where they shared their first kiss. The memory itself caused a delightful feeling to course throughout Newt, and he couldn't help but smile softly against the tip of the bottle as the familiar taste covered his tongue. 

Newt leaned one of his hands on the sand while the other cupped his bottle in his lap, and he glanced over to Thomas, who took a sip before speaking.

"So is this, like, your first fourth of July party? With fireworks and everything?" he asks, and Newt blinks at him. 

"Tommy I've been living in America for almost 10 years."

"I know but you're British? I just assumed you didn't...? Because, you know, fireworks are kinda an American thing."

"What the bloody hell are you talking about? You know there's fireworks in England right? And basically every other country in the world?"

Thomas scratched the back of his neck and Newt couldn't help but chuckle at him. "Sorry. That was really stupid."

"Maybe that wine cooler is going straight to your head," Newt jokes, and Thomas rolls his eyes with a smile. 

"Shut up."

"Aww Tommy don't worry. I still think you're the cutest thing ever, even if you're a little dim," he says, leaning over to peck Thomas on his cheek, and Thomas huffs, still wrapping his arm around Newt while Newt rests his head on his shoulder. 

Not long after, the fireworks finally begin to spring to life within the night sky along with the stars, and Newt stares up at the view, being reminded of the feeling that resides within his chest as he watches the colors scatter and map the sky, only to dissolve and begin again. 

And although the view is breathtaking, he finds the one sitting beside him much more captivating. As he tilts his head to look up at Thomas, Newt is met with the ethereal image of luminous colors painting across Thomas' unblemished skin in a way that Newt refuses to believe is bona fide.  

Thomas' golden brown eyes are glowing like a flame to a candle, and Newt can feel himself sinking, _melting_ , both physically and mentally, to the point where Newt can feel his breath slowly escaping his grasp, and it's embarrassing, really, knowing that Thomas still has that effect on him after all this time they have spent together. 

It takes less than a few minutes for Thomas to finally look down to meet Newt's eyes, refusing to pull away from his gaze, and they stay like that for a while, staring at each other instead of the fireworks, which are still highlighting the features of both of their faces and are still booming and crackling in the background, but Newt can barely hear it - he's _enthralled_. 

Newt finds himself taking in every aspect of Thomas' face, his beauty marks and freckles that he has traced with the very tips of his fingers, and he watches as Thomas parts his lips as if he were about to say something, but he closes them again, sighing. Then he tries again. 

"I wish you knew what you do to me," he says quietly. "I wish you knew how you make me feel and I wish you knew how much I really love you."

Newt smiles softly. "Why are you saying this, Tommy?"

"Because you're leaving in a few days and...I don't want you to forget that you're the only person that's ever made me feel like this - like...," he pauses. "God, I can't even put it into words. I just...really love you, okay?"

"I love you too," Newt beams, caressing his cheek before leaning up to press his lips against Thomas'. "And I'll never forget. I _swear_."

 

 

 

 

 

"Is that all?" Thomas asks Newt's mum as he loads the last box into the trunk of their car.

"I believe so," she says with a nod, crossing her arms across her chest, and Thomas slams the trunk shut, dusting his hands before placing them on his hips. "Thanks for helping us, Thomas. It means a lot."

"No problem," he smiles.

Today is the day that Newt heads off to college, and, unsurprisingly, Thomas had volunteered to help them load the car for their trip,

With the car finally being packed, Newt's parent get into the front seat, effectively leaving Newt and Thomas alone so they could bid each other a proper goodbye before they parted ways. 

They stand in silence for a few moments, with Thomas shifting on his feet and Newt looking down, unable to properly look Thomas in the eye. The silence is only filled when Thomas finally speaks, causing Newt to lift his head.  

"I've never been good with goodbyes," he admits. "I never really know what to say."

"Me either," Newt agrees. 

"Plus your parents are watching us so there's not much I can say."

Newt laughs and the sound of his laugh puts a warm smile on Thomas' face. "I think I'm going to miss that the most."

"What?"

"Your laugh. It's soothing - puts me at ease when I need it the most. And I know it won't sound the same over the phone, but I guess something is better than nothing."

"Yeah," Newt hums. 

"Before you go," Thomas continues, taking a few steps over to his car. "There's something I want to give you."

He opens the door to the back seat and fetches something from it, his varsity jacket, and the smile that was already written across Newt's lips spreads even wider. 

"Tommy-"

"I want you to have it," he says, handing it over to Newt, and Newt takes it from him, the smell of his maddening cologne already hitting him, "so even when I'm not there, it'll feel like I am."

Suddenly, Newt feels the urge to cry, and although they did not promise each other that they wouldn't when they said goodbye, he doesn't want to. He doesn't want to be vulnerable on their last day together, and he doesn't want the mood to be destroyed, but he can't help it - he can't help the tears that begin to fill in his eyes and he can't help the quiet sob that he makes, even though he tries incredibly hard to suppress it. 

Instead, he finds himself wrapping his free arm around Thomas while he buries his face in the crook of his neck, and Thomas' arms wrap around his middle, holding him tight as if letting him go would cause permanent damage. 

They stay like that for what feels like forever, neither one of them wanting to let go, but Newt's parents serve as a reminder, telling them that they have to leave soon, so they pull away from each other hesitantly, and Newt is surprised to see Thomas' eyes glossy as well. And then they kiss chastely, sweetly, savoring every last second of it knowing that it would be their last for more than a month. 

Thomas leans his forehead against Newt's after they part, looking straight into his eyes without his gaze faltering. "Don't forget to call me tonight, alright? I wanna make sure you're safe."

Newt nods. 

After that, Newt gets into the car, and he waves at Thomas for the last time before they finally begin to drive off, and he can feel his tears beginning to resurface again, but he wills them away, taking deep breaths to clear his fogged vision. 

Just seconds after they pull off, Newt's phone begins to vibrate in his pocket, and he pulls it out to find that he has a message - one from Thomas. 

**miss you already**

 

And Newt smiles, holding his phone to his chest, and his mum smiles at him through the rearview mirror knowingly. 

 

 

 

Upon his arrival, Newt meets his roommate Ben, an engineering major with some of the greenest eyes he has ever seen but also with a smile that makes him seem genuine. and Newt takes an immediate liking to him right after he smiles at him and shakes his hand. 

It turns out they have a lot in common, being that they listen to the same music and have read the same books, and by the looks of it, Newt knows that he may have found a friend that'll stay around for a while. 

As promised, Newt calls Thomas that night, and they talk on the phone until the early hours of the morning like they usually do (which Ben doesn't mind), and right before Newt falls asleep, he curls up with Thomas' varsity jacket, the sweet scent of it causing a homely feeling to erupt within him. 

And that night, Newt finds himself hoping that things will never change, because he finds everything perfect just the way they are, and he owes it all to the golden eyed boy who he has spent all of high school loving and who his heart now belongs to. 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yay for corny endings!! this story was extremely fun to write, and being that it's one of the first chaptered stories i've ever finished means a lot so thanks to all of you who have stuck with it and beared through this trash from start to finish. 
> 
> feel free to message me on [tumblr](http://sesquipedaliaa.tumblr.com/); it's always fun talking to you guys
> 
> X


End file.
